Hello
From early on when chatting if we wanted kids or if we were regretful not having them before (with past partner), partner told me him and his ex had a happy accident which was years before breaking up and had no baring on them breaking up. He then said after I asked questions, that it was unexpected and unplanned and although he doesn't ever wish the death of a child, hes glad he doesnt have kids with his ex as relationship wasn't right. He said losing baby pushed them away and when he first spoke about it, with me, he got upset. He said pregnany happened 2017, and he didn't know she was doing a pregnancy test. She came in bedroom with test and was crying, ie she wasn't happy. He then said she bought more tests as they weren't going to believe one test seeing as they weren't even trying.
He has always said that was it... he said she was only 5 weeks pregnant and only got to 8 week mark before miscarrying. He said only her parents knew as she started bleeding when visiting them and had to go to hospital (he wasn't with her, her parents live down south). He then said when she came back home she got a scan to confirm pregnancy loss as hospital down south said it was likely. He said he didn't go to this scan as he was working and she wanted to go alone.
He has since told me that he did go to a scan and it was a scan at the very very beginning (5/6 weeks) to confirm pregnancy. He said it was an early one as 12 week scan was too far away and he couldn't see anything on scan and no print out was given.
My question? Is he lying? He always said he went to no scan and now he has, he said he was upset thinking back because of hosw upset ex was and that he is "empathetic". Also, I think hes lying because you can't get early scan at 5/6 weeks on nhs esp not for "let's just confirm your pregnant", also, he said totally unplanned and they were always careful, what are the chances he was the 0.091% where contraception fails?
He said they never spoke of it again and they didn't ever talk about having kids or certainly trying. They were together 9 years. No engagement, no children. Would you believe him? I hate being lied to.
Basically im asking if 1) she was alot further along, 2) baby was actually planned and 3) he was upset as it was what he wanted with her... kids, everything etc.
I hate being lied to esp when he says our pregnany (im 14 weeks) is all 1st and new to him and hes never experienced this before... ie feelings, chat about maternity pay/leave, seeing 12 week scan...