Autistic child attacking DD part 2

Of course they wouldn’t. Don’t be ridiculous.

My autistic son was violent at age 4. Several years later he isn’t violent at all and is a lovely little boy.
So no this boy isn’t definitely going to grow into a stronger and bigger violent man.
but that’s besides the point, the issue is what’s happening your DD here and now, and her useless school.

Which has got nothing to di with a four year old boy
I have every sympathy with your situation but your not doing your self any favours constantly comparing a very small child yo a violent abusive man
It's the school you should be angry with they have let both children down and have failed to keep your daughter safe

As a governor, do you think the right help is being supplied, at the right time? I'm not point scoring because I'm genuinely interested. In my LA nothing is done till a child is 2 years behind, by which time they can't catch up in mainstream and they're then shipped out of area to any private facility that'll take them. 6% of their education budget goes on home to school transport and those places are expensive.

Do you think there's a case for pre-entry testing and then directing each child to the most appropriate school? You'd need an up front cash injection to make it possible, but I believe it'd pay for itself in financial and emotional terms.

My experience from the parents viewpoint is that a lot of those describing themselves as experts are no such thing. Many years ago now, I got the devil in me and went round a group of LA and school staff who were discussing my daughter (some of whom had never met her) and asked them what qualifications they had in autism. Not one of them had ever studied it and their preconceptions were as dangerous as they were entertaining. I was the only one who had formally studied it, and I was universally ignored.

Ed Davey (Lib Dem) talking about the proposed ban on Israeli people attending a football match :
'It is completely wrong to tackle anti Semitism by banning its victims.'
Swap 'antl Semitism' for 'bullying' and we can see how wrong it is that it is OPs daughter who has had to move. Victim blaming is rife, especially when the victim is a girl or a woman.
OP, i am so sad for your daughter. I hope she settles well in her new school and enjoys the rest of her academic career.

The boy apparently does have a 1:1 which seemed to be put in place rather quickly after OP's complaints when her child was hurt by this boy before the poo incident.

My son's EHCP didn't take years to come through, it did take months though but I appreciate its LA dependent and it doesn't surprise me at all to hear that it can take years.

While I was searching for the Lochgelly case, I stumbled across this in FB. This is definitely a separate incident. Note the victim blaming in the comments: "What did she do?"

www.facebook.com/groups/1306308666613479/posts/1762608804316794/

If the boy has a formal diagnosis, the school will be frightened of antagonising the parent and being accused of discrimination against the disabled.

I've seen this in action in the secondary sector: it wasn't the fault of a 12 yr old that that they held a sharp tool against the throat of another 12 yr old, apparently. Mind you, if I'd been the parent of the victim, I'd have created merry hell and I'd have insisted on the police being called. I suspect that the parents were scared of being accused of discrimination.

Then there was this case, where a pupil attacked a teacher. On the local FB page, the boy's neighbour blamed the teacher.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-45940788

I agree that's the most likely scenario.

Do much more with what money? All these comments that he needs a 1 to 1 - where from? Schools are at breaking point, EHCP's are taking years to come through, and until they do there is no money to provide him with extra support.
Reeves's NI increase and cuts to council funding have put schools in a dire position.

To anyone who doesn't believe me - apply to be a governor for your local primary to fully understand the current landscape which schools are working in.

I don't think that happened because the OP was given the shitty jumper in a plastic bag at the end of the school day. My guess is it didn't even occur to them, along with a lot of other things.

Of course a school can't enforce anything, but the attitude of 'here you go, it's up to you to wash another child's shit off your child's jumper' was what left me thinking 'some things can't be fixed. Get her out of there.'

I think that's the right thing to do. I'm not surprised that this school haven't at least offered though.

At my old place of work, the school would have replaced the item if the parent refused to do so.

My experience is the secondary sector, as I've said upthread. Unfortunately, the proper interventions are rarely put in place, in my experience.

I had written a very long post, but it was too outing. All I can say is that - in my opinion - if interventions are not put in place in the early years, then there is a tragedy waiting to happen.

Yes thats true

It's also possible that the school asked and his parents said no/ignored the requests. Unfortunately, I don't see how the school can enforce parents to wash another child's clothing or replace it.

Ideally the parents of the little boy! I think that it probably comes down to the school being generally too lazy/useless to think about it rather than them meaning anything in particular by it though

I'm so glad we can agree on what should have happened and what didn't happen. In the end, that is more important than what we call the perpetrator. Can I ask who you think should have washed or replaced the jumper and if you can see the symbolism of the OP being expected to do it?

They should have got the TA to actually supervise the little boy all day, staying with him constantly, not wandering off and leaving him alone to harm OPs little girl. The teacher should have talked to her and explained that they were going to make sure that she wasnt hurt again, and then made sure that happened. They could have explained to her that what happened to her was wrong, that its never ok for someone to hurt you, and that none of it was her fault. You can do all that without calling four year olds abusers and comparing them to violent men. The school are the ones who are ultimately responsible for this, they massively failed in their duty to keep the children safe.

Absolutely. Although I bet that when the right provision is put in place his behaviours will reduce significantly.

I note your points. Can I ask what you think should have been happening to the little girl who's been targeted? What steps do you think should the school have been taking to keep her safe and able to learn not just academically but about life and making friends? How would you explain what has happened to her and reassure her that it wasn't her fault and she didn't deserve it to happen and that, most of all, she will be safe at school?

Children aren't adults.

Children with developmental disorders and delays will be developmentally disordered or delayed unless they receive the right support in their developmental and formative years. That support often comes while the child is in an educational setting and not flying under the radar. This support then mitigates the likelihood of them growing into the adults you are describing.

If an autistic adult can't work without acting upon violence then the chances are they'd be assessed not capable for work, but you can't write a 4 year old off as never being able to enter the working world when no immediate support is available and there's a ridiculous beaureacratic, lengthy legal process that has to be adhered to in order to get them that support, that is completely out of that childs hands.

Moving your daughter is a choice you can make, and I would make that choice if it was my child, but you seem to be angry at the fact you can't control that this boy won't be excluded yet rather than simply that the school have failed your daughter and this child by not providing adequate supervision. It's just baying for blood at this point.