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Autistic child attacking DD part 2

756 replies

HollandAndCooper · 15/10/2025 09:14

Original thread here:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5420774-autistic-child-attacking-dd?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Hi Everyone,

me back again looking for advice, perhaps some last minute advice as I have a meeting scheduled with the head teacher this morning.

DD aged 4 has been very unwell and spent a week off school. She is really going through it at the moment. She returned to school yesterday after her time off, and I'd hoped that the boy in question would've got bored and moved on. I did have a meeting booked last week but couldn't go due to DD being poorly.

well.. it turns out he hasn't got bored and moved on. It's a very small school with 20-25 per class, one class per year from reception to year 2.

the event that happened yesterday, by DDs account.
it was play time and DD was playing with a couple other girls in the play ground. Child in question was calling DD names like 'baby' and 'you need nappies' and announced he was going to the toilet.
he came back out and proceeded to have faeces on his finger to which he wiped on her cardigan.

a staff member took her to the quiet room, swapped her cardigan for one in lost property and the cardigan was handed to me in a bag on pick up. With still an evident stain on it.

i have a meeting this morning.

I have a copy of the safe guarding policy, anti bullying policy. I just need some wise words from MN now with what I need to say but I'm going down the route of failing to keep my child safe, and this is a huge safeguarding issue, not to mention a biohazard issue.
please be kind, I'm a single parent doing my best, and she won't be returning until she is safe.

so far the child has:
kicked, punched, pinched, clouted her on the head with a metal water bottle, name called and taunted. And now this.

she will not be going back to the school until this is sorted and there are proper sanctions in place. I am so angry and utterly heartbroken for her. She has been so poorly last week and in and out of hospital and I cannot see her broken like this anymore.

i appreciate the old thread is 1000 posts but there's more information on there if needed.
My AIBU is I guess to want this child excluded and put as far away from DD as possible. But I know it's not that simple. I'm at a total loss and they are failing to safe guard my child. She will not be returning until she can be safe, I'm also looking at other provisions for her now.
thanks in advance.

OP posts:
DontStopMeNowGoodTime · 15/10/2025 09:48

Your poor little girl. Best of luck with the meeting.
I know you probably know this already but the line "my child is being bullied, she needs to be safeguarded in school" worked for me when my DD was being bullied. It was like actually using the word "bullied" made them swing into action.
Good luck.

TheLarkAscendingRose · 15/10/2025 09:46

HollandAndCooper · 15/10/2025 09:38

Thank you @Ella31its so hard when emotions come into play. I've pretty much bullet pointed all accounted incidences. The bottom line is I just need to know they are going to keep my child safe, as her coming home with pinch marks and bruises and now faeces in her clothes is heartbreaking. She's a sensitive little girl. It's breaking my heart.

ive made the school aware she is off with me, I've got some lovely plans for her this week to try and make her feel better. I never thought bullying would be this extreme in reception aged children 😔

I hope the school can reassure you they'll protect your dd. This can't go on. She's not safe

Firedrink · 15/10/2025 09:40

Good lord, sounds absolutely deeadful.
So premeditated with the poo.
They may try and fob you off, don't be moved on.
Follow up the meeting with an email with every incident noted.
Have you thought of contacting SS's?

Become the greatest PITA, with everything documented.
Good luck.

HollandAndCooper · 15/10/2025 09:38

Thank you @Ella31its so hard when emotions come into play. I've pretty much bullet pointed all accounted incidences. The bottom line is I just need to know they are going to keep my child safe, as her coming home with pinch marks and bruises and now faeces in her clothes is heartbreaking. She's a sensitive little girl. It's breaking my heart.

ive made the school aware she is off with me, I've got some lovely plans for her this week to try and make her feel better. I never thought bullying would be this extreme in reception aged children 😔

OP posts:
Ella31 · 15/10/2025 09:27

I'm so sorry this is happening to your daughter. I'm a teacher myself. Most important thing is to stay calm and be factual which you sound like you are. I know from writing up incidents, the facts are what pack a punch. Emotion although I can understand why you'd be upset can muddle things. You sound really prepared though. I hope your little girl feels better soon xxx

HollandAndCooper · 15/10/2025 09:16

Arghhhh didn't mean to see voting again, I don't know how to take it off!!

OP posts: