Autistic child attacking DD part 2

Yes, but good parents (when present) tell their children not to do that. I might be misunderstanding, but I think that this has happened whilst waiting for school to open?

Because they're only 6 weeks into reception?

EHCP takes time to gather evidence. They will flat out refuse unless the school has tried every possibility (even if it's glaringly obvious the child needs an EHCP). Parents can argue to get councils to follow law and not wait, but from OPs description it doesn't sound like the mum would do that.

I'm 65.

In August, my old secondary had a reunion. Beforehand, I was contacted by one of my bullies - she wanted me to forgive her.

Short version - I went but tried to avoid her. Was waylaid by her: "I do apologise for anything I did."

I was immediately flanked by two girls from my primary school class, there to support me. I only found out at the reunion that several of us had been targeted by girls from another primary once we moved up to high school. (When they'd finally been told to leave me alone when I was in Second Year, they'd moved on to others.)

We had been deemed to be 'posh' and 'snobs' because we were quiet girls who wanted to get on with our schoolwork. (In actual fact, we all came from working class backgrounds.)

It was quite enlightening - so far as I'm aware, three of the bullies attended. They left early. Those of us who were their victims had no interest in interacting with them. (A 4th - a girl who had broken my nose - had cancelled her attendance at the last minute. She's now a TA in a secondary school!)

Just to say that these things run deep. It turned out that the girl who had contacted me (via social media) had tried to get in touch with others. She left the reunion WhatsApp group after one of her victims sent her private message telling her that she hoped that she'd had a miserable life.

@HollandAndCooper is quite right to be looking into a move for her daughter.

Very often the school has said cannot meet need but forced to take anyway. Our primary had 22 SEN requests this time. We said we could take max 2 into our ARP and 2-3 we felt we could support in a mainstream class if given X anount of extra funding for a TA.
For the other 17 our SENCo spent 3 weekends of her own time writing explanations of why we couldn't meet need and why woyod be harmful to both the child and the school as a whole. Only 3 were accepted out of the 17. So we had 14 children who could not meet need, and no funding. All TA's (apart from those linked to ehcps) were pulled from across the school to staff what was effectively a special needs classroom for the 10 highest need. So all the other classes where children were receiving small group support have lost it, and children with needs which dont meet ehcp threshold are now struggling massively.

I'd be asking why this child hasn't got 121 support both in class and in playtime/lunchtime.

He sounds severely SEN. I empathise, because my DC also has AuDHD. But it isn't his fault. It is totally down to the school for not managing him. Why haven't they applied for an EHCP?

What a horrible shitty post. @Horserider5678 are you also an apologists for rape and general violence?
'Oooh the poor rapist, she clearly did something to deserve it/didn't do as he demanded/wound him up! Why aren't you checking on him?!! He must be so upset!!!' Pathetic.

deliberately smearing shit on someone is absolutely vile and inexcusable.

But it's not op's problem, is it horserider???

And victim blaming much, my life

My child on her 3rd round of being attacked by a girl with additional needs.
The final one was a bite which bruised through two layers of clothing.
The school were still happy to have my daughter in the same class as this child, it wasn't until I insisted that they had to be separated that my child was moved.

(Posted too soon)

That is to say, your child is young and you should just move schools now. If they've not handled it so far they're not likely to.

Another one saying just move schools

Your daughter deserves more: and her current school isn't willing to give her that.

But it is to a child who wipes shit all over another kid. That's where we are at.

Your post after you had the meeting @HollandAndCooperhas been deleted by Mumsnet, no idea why, so I don’t know how the meeting went. I’m getting snippets from other posts and your replies.
It’s heartbreaking and so unfair that it’s the child who is being attacked that has to leave.
I know of others who had to leave their school because of bullying.
The bullies remained. 😡
it appears societal - how many times have we seen where perpetrators of crimes seem to have more rights than their victims ? 🥲

I remember hearing stories of schools asking the father or mother of child to sit in classes where said child was being disruptive. They would soon re think being disruptive at the thought of mum or dad being present.

My heart goes out to you and your little girl op

💐

Most parents of children (with or without SEN) are absolutely marvellous. However, there's a minority who have just given up and who use the school as respite - phones are switched off as soon as the child is over the school threshold and they refuse to take responsibility for anything that happens on school premises.

My experience is the Scottish secondary sector. Now retired after 40 yrs. 20 plus years as a middle manager. We had some parents who simply could not be contacted during school hours - all emergency contact numbers would be switched off.

I’m so angry on your behalf OP. It’s out of order and unacceptable. He needs to be removed and he’s targeting your daughter. Stick to the facts, make sure you’ve noted quotes down from your child, like taking a witness statement. Describe each and every incident like a police officer would or a lawyer. Keep the emotion out but also don’t forgo empathetic descriptive words such distressed, anxious and disturbed.

Focus on what he has done rather than him per se and the risk and danger he poses to your child.

Don’t even begin to to
mention his disability that’s not your concern.

Ensure you make it clear that this has escalated to a point that the need to take positive action.

Ah, sorry, I misunderstood, I think that’s a parenting issue then not an SEN issue (and from the rest of the things OP has said, I do wonder whether parenting may be one factor in this child’s behaviour - probably even more difficult for the school to address, though)

🙄 oh FFS.

He made a conscious decision to target the OPs daughter and smear her with shit. Why should he get all the sympathy? It sounds more like vile behaviour and bullying tbh. But of course we all have to bend over backwards and be inclusive and understanding to the poor other child who has been so badly let down? And how has he been let down exactly?!

That aside OP, the school are clearly useless too so yes, I would look to move her asap.

sadly the child in question will most likely target somebody else and the cycle will repeat.

Well yes it is but I am pointing out that non autistic kids do that.

And they should be taught not to. It’s disrespectful.

See also: allowing dogs to pee on gravestones

Runs over graves? Many children do that. That sounds a bit picky.

Yes we sometimes used to do this in ‘Ye Olden Days’ It often seemed that when this became inconvenient for the parents the child’s behaviour in school miraculously improved. It is probably illegal nowadays to require parents to do this but in my experience it was effective in a lot of cases.