Autistic child attacking DD part 2

That is just so awful op. I’m so sorry. That child needs to be removed. I could care less about his education and rights, if he is such a problem to everyone else. The school has failed your dd too. No wonder there is so little tolerance these days, because innocent children are expected to sit back and be subjected to this and not say a word.
Remove your child, he will move on to the next. I’m certain all the parents know about him too.
so disgusting, he absolutely knew what he was doing.

Why would the school rather your daughter move schools than deal with the boy's behaviour/exclude him?

Trauma logic clearly runs deep in our institutions.

Totally understand why you would want this child excluded and I can't see why that is so offensive. Who would want someone who smears poo over your daughter's clothes and physically assaults her in the same airspace as her.
OP you have been so dignified throughout this. How soon until your sweet girl can make a fresh start elsewhere? I hope the rest of her Reception journey is far more positive.

Oh none of that now, can't you see she's a secondary(if that) in this male child's life?!! He matters, she does not.

I agree that if the school refuse to act, I'd report this to the police. To be honest, I would also speak to his parents if that's an option and let them know you will be reporting each incident of assault to the police and following through to prosecution if it comes to it.

You appear to be assuming that the child's behaviour is solely the result of any additional needs. As someone who has several neurodivergent family members, I find that breathtakingly offensive.

What has been vile? Do you think ops not just agreeing to accept violence and faecal smearing is vile? That the dd should just accept head injuries and physical and verbal aggression, and focus on 'ah bless, poor lad, how can we prioritise him?'

You don't know that he is disabled.

Any sympathy for her daughter?

What that child is doing to OP’s DD is vile. Smearing faeces on a cardigan?

My mum suggested this to me when I was 7, I wanted to do dancing so didn´t take the offer up. I could kick myself now, it would´ve given me so much confidence.

Sen parent.
I would move her.

The other child needs 1:1 supervision which even if it did happen could take months to organise.

Your dd is your priority, schools hands are pretty tied around sen. I dont see anyway they can immediately solve the problem

The way you’ve talked about a disabled child throughout this thread, and your previous thread, is ableist and vile.

However, wishing you good luck as you move your child to an alternative school.

I'm glad you're taking her out, you're doing what's best for your daughter. I wish I was braver when my eldest was in primary but I listened to the school and although he's almost 17 now he still struggles with his self confidence and anxiety.

I was bullied for years from the age of 6 or 7 till my mid-teens - physical fighting and sneering and being picked on. And all the grown ups around me (my parents & teachers) did was ask "Were you doing something to provoke the attacks?"

50 years later, I still try to take up as little space as possible in groups of people, and am extremely conflict averse if someone tries to pick a fight with me about my character or behaviour. I shrink.

It's not good enough. I hope you find a better school @HollandAndCooper The little boy sounds as though he's being neglected, and his parents don't care. His parents need some parenting training.

OP, My friends daughter had her brand new school shoes ruined by a child in primary. She sent her back to school in trainers, refused to buy new school shoes and gave the head a link to the replacement ones to forward to the parent. The parents did try to wangle out of it but eventually did buy new shoes. The school should be acting as a go between. I'd return the shit stained jumper and say your daughter wont be in uniform until a new one is bought.

@Icreatedausernameyippee your poor child

Hope she's doing better now

OP, I totally support you finding a new school for your DD. I agree with @Lougle that autism is a red herring here. There are lots of gorgeous SEN children who make the schools they go to begger places. But, somehow behaviour of one child is allowed to trump the well-being of all others. We had a child using racist language constantly, or talking about shooting them all - when I raised with SLT they said it was an anxious response and therefore not something we would do anything about. That it what got me out of education.

@Icreatedausernameyippee we sadly had the same, with school like horse doing the pathetic 'oh they may have brought it on themselves...' till a parent/helper event for world book day, gave the evidence of my dc sitting reading in a group, had the child who'd be targeting him kick them in the back... but of course as evidenced on here there was still the desperate grabbing at straws of 'poor, violent bully...'

Just wanted to say op that you sound like a brilliant mum!!! And going through all this on your own must be very tough.
Your dd is very lucky to have a mum like you fighting for her ❤️ x

The Autism is a red herring here. It doesn't matter that the child has ASD. It is the responsibility of the school to keep all the children in their care safe. The cause of the behaviour needs to be identified after the safety measure is implemented.

DD1 went to special school. Her behaviour upset another pupil, who thought that the best thing to do was to tell another pupil about it and encourage her to 'sort it out'. Her response was to beat DD1 with a stick, leaving huge striped bruises on her thighs.

I disagree with a lot of how school managed the situation. They told me DD1 'had hurt her knee' as she limped out of school. It was only when she used the loo that I saw the bruises and asked her about them. They wanted DD1 to do a 'restorative session' with the other girl. DD1 declined. They told her they would wait until she was ready, and she told them that they'd be waiting a long time.

What they did get right, was that they told me that the child responsible would not be going out into the playground until they were confident that she could behave appropriately, and that when she was allowed out she would be directly supervised at all times. I didn't need to know the details of any sanctions. I just needed to know DD1 would be safe.

DD1 was already quite unwell, mentally. But she hasn't recovered from that incident. It's lead to 3 failed college placements because she just doesn't feel safe.

How terrible for your daughter. Only just starting reception and having to deal with bullying straight away. Not the start you had imagined for her.

Taking her out and putting her in a new school is for the best. Hopefully no long term damage has been done.

Enrol your daughter in a martial arts club. It will give her confidence to stand up to bullies A child family member of mine has been doing this since 4 years old. A boy grabbed her by the throat, she knew the moves to get him off her and executed it perfectly. He never went near her again.
You need to be very firm about what this child is doing OP, the school is in dereliction of duty by not protecting your DD

Maybe they have - in our area they take up to 2 years to come through, that's even if they agree to assess. Some parents are really proactive and start the battle young so they have an ehcp by time they start. And some aren't. And some have such long waits to get assessed even for those who try really hard.

And we don't know that this child definitely has SEN, and we and OP have no right to know. On these posts the excuse is always given as SEN. But some children just are little sh*ts!

I had a Head who used to invite parents in 25 yrs ago.