Autistic child attacking DD part 2

I can’t believe some posters are still excusing the boy’s behaviour. Probably trolls 😳
I’m honestly surprised no one has said something along the lines of, “Well, maybe his needs do involve smearing poo on little girls.”

I am so sorry sbout DD’s experiences. It is horrible. The boy sounds deeply disturbed - wiping faeces - WTF? There must be welfare concerns about the boy.

Nope simply saying you can’t boot out every challenging child with SEN or a difficult home life .

And it's backed up by people like those on this and previous thread who wail ' how dreadful and unkind you are!!! This poor boy!! So what about your child!!. The poor boy!!!'

Let's have a little reality check, shall we? What we have here are two four year old children - one who is persistently bullying the other, by all accounts unprovoked, and one who is being systematically bullied and humiliated. You have no evidence whatsoever that this boy has a disability and, self-righteous though you may feel, your assumption that he has, and that this is informing his behaviour, is in itself ablist. You actually do not know why he is behaving this way, you only know that he is.

The truth is, ND children in crisis can lash out, but they are highly unlikely to be selective about their targets. It can be other children, older and bigger children, adults or, more often, objects. As any parent of a ND child will tell you, they are far, far more likely to be the victims of bullying than the perpetrators.

Then we have the school, and its legal duty. Every child has the right to be safe in school. Every parent has the right to assume when they drop their child off at school, they won't be picking them up later bruised, distressed and smeared in another kid's shit. In these terms, there is no demand that anything happens to a perpetrator. There is a demand that the victim is kept safe, by whatever means necessary. However sympathetic we may be to the boy and his parents - and I am - the victim's safety is paramount. I think it's absolutely disgraceful that the school's response is so ineffectual that it is the victim who has to move schools. It is utterly unjust, and let me be clear - I do not blame the OP, desperately trying to keep her child safe, for any action she takes to effect that.

Now, it may feel very cool and groovy to tick everyone off, but I see very few posts that don't express concern for the little girl, rather than demanding punishment for the equally very young boy, whilst what you have actually done is stick a label on a child you do not know, with no evidence whatsoever, because all disabled people behave badly, right?

Where is the proof the school has taken all reasonable steps?

There are children like this in many, many mainstream schools with adequate supervision and education provision successfully learning and progressing .

And this is what happens when you try to “include everyone”.

There used to be more special schools for a reason.

Cost saving in the name of “inclusion” means everyone suffers.

I agree with other posters that it doesn't seem like a meltdown, he is bullying the little girl and deliberately finding her out.

Still focusing and prioritising the boy who assaults and smears faeces on another child?

I can't speak for England; in Scotland, the Local Authority would have a duty to provide an appropriate environment. At the moment, it seems that this boy is in the wrong environment.

I’ve seen a couple of posts criticising the op for her use of language regarding a child with sen. Admittedly I’ve only skimmed but I think I’ve seen most of the posts from the op, particularly on this thread. I have 2 boys with autism and adhd and haven’t seen anything from the op that I found offensive. Her child, within the first term of her schooling has been targeted by another child. Anyone would be upset at these circumstances. Smearing shit on another child is absolutely disgusting and tells of a malice I’ve never seen in a child before. If that were my child behaving like that I’d be utterly mortified.

it looks very likely that this school setting is not appropriate for him. Bad enough that he has to suffer while a more appropriate setting is found. Absolutely appalling that other children do too, particularly to this degree.

It’s unfortunate that with the op moving her daughter he will probably target another child but we can (within reason) only be responsible for the wellbeing of our own children.

My son was kept mainstream until the end of year 6 they would not send him to a specialist school until then

Luckily he is golden behaved 99.99% of the time

Agreed.

I was upset when I found a footprint on my husband's kerbstone memorial at the local crematorium - some people have been using the kerbstones as stepping stones to get to the central flowerbeds where there are some memorial plaques.

Yes, the kerbstones are inscribed with names, dates, etc.

And that’s for the school to provide. Schools across the land manage challenging children day in and day out. They don’t get to pick and choose. They should have robust measures in place to provide for all children. If they don’t it’s not the fault of children in the setting.

Exactly. Dearly beloved, but sneaky! If it was general frustration I wouldn't expect the little girl to be the only one picked on, would you? Either way, she's a child, not a flaming chew toy.

Yes, good idea...

MN will bend over backwards to stand up for bullies, bonus points if they’re boys and ND (it also won’t matter if it’s vague, unconfirmed or concluded out of thin air).

Frankly, I’d just move her. She’ll feel relieved. Not the same ages but DD was horrifically bullied during HS and I didn’t move her and the solution was always removing her, never the bullies. And as usual, these bullying little monsters came from households who didn’t give a damn, which also explains their ability to run feral.

As others have said, make sure that there's a paper trail.

Be sure to write down that you are moving your little girl because of the school's failure to safeguard her. By the time the two school groups have combined, the situation with regard to the bully might well have changed.

Didn’t say they did

’needs being met’ nobody needs to smear shit!

No, the Local Authority do. The duty is on the Local Authority to provide a suitable full time education from the term after a child's 5th birthday. That duty is often fulfilled by the provision of a mainstream school place, but it doesn't have to be. The school is entitled to exclude a child on the grounds of safety, if necessary, but they would have to show that they have taken all reasonable steps to reduce the risk, such as close supervision from a dedicated adult.

Every child has the right to a safe education.

Nobody said she didn’t.

I doubt it. The best outcome will be him being provided with the education and support he needs to mange the school setting better. Schools
pull this off all the time.

So does the little girl