DS hates my job

No I'm just a woman who recognises toxic masculinity and unchecked anger when she sees it. That sort of thing gets us killed, see, I as soon as we see it in a man 🚩🚩🚩🚩.

Good luck with your journey. Please don't turn your "rage" on anyone along the way. Even if youve now just turned into a woman or whatever. Still goes..keep that rage in.

I knew this really, but sometimes when Mum guilt hits we need reminding!
I remember mum guilt all to well but im past that now my children are adults. I remember stressing if in case I had to work Christmas day, thankfully I didnt and did NYE instead but the stress leading up to the rotas going out was real! Dh used to tell me not to worry and we would have Christmas either before I went to work or when I came back but thankfully I didnt do a Christmas shift until the youngest was 19.

Dont forget Op, you are providing your child with a home, you show up to events, you do the school run, you are doing great!
Keep on ,keeping on!

We have talked about it very frequently. She's no fool and realises it was the best option in the circumstances. Still misses the place we lived in and appreciates what my job enabled. No regrets.

You then went on to tell me I want your rage. I get that sort of interaction might be normal for you as a "dad" or whatever, but that kind of machismo is generally frowned upon in more civilised society. You been drinking in this pub of the OP's?
Seriously, is English not your first language and you don't get figures of speech and nuances?

Ah, bless, Do you always take things literal and assume things? Do you assume poster names reflect real life. Maybe you do and then you would realise that indeed, im 'not a cool dad', in fact im not a dad at all!

And no, I haven't been drinking. I've not had a drink since my birthday last March.
Your posts are now amusing me but im afraid it's hijacking the Ops post which is not on.

Children are inherently selfish. Of course he hates anything that has a claim on your time as he assumes that he would otherwise get that time himself.

you can’t run your life according to a seven year ‘s view of the world. You are doing a great job, continue to parent not pander.

Thank you!

I'd take it from your DD who would be better placed to speak of the pros and cons.

Get him a copy of Richard Scarry's What Do People Do All Day? Might open a good conversation.

My DD lived in my workplace. We were fine. Pros/cons, always but 7 is too young to get the nuance.

I don't think either of you are unreasonable but I have managed a pub and lived above it and understand how much it is a lifestyle and not a job. There is little true downtime and I expect that irs probably a difficult life for a child sometimes. I don't say that to make you feel bad or anything, just that from my experience it really is all consuming very often.

You then went on to tell me I want your rage. I get that sort of interaction might be normal for you as a "dad" or whatever, but that kind of machismo is generally frowned upon in more civilised society. You been drinking in this pub of the OP's?

I'd say the person who told me I want rage is the one wanting a fight.

Yes exactly.
Can you imagine changing your job/ career based on the whims of a child.
Dont like me working Monday to Friday 9-5. No bother , I'll do shift work. Now you don't like the shift work, I'll change again.
Don't like me being a teacher, fine I'll just pop back to university and do a different degree.
You wish you had a parent who was a train driver? No worries, I'll go and do that. It's laughable really.

@@ThatSpryShaker
I advise that you do not bite and I can assure you "not a cool dad", that you should also keep your rage to yourself. Better still, get some help for it.*

😆 🤣 😂
What on earth are you going on about?

Are you a bit dim and not realise 'bite' is a figure of speech meaning that someone will respond to a comment that should be ignored.
I don't go round snapping at people!! 😆
That is the funniest, maddest reply ive ever had!

I've done 9-5 in an office with zero flexibility, 24 hour shifts (sleeping on site in the middle) twice a week and exclusively work from home across my career and both my kids (26 and 12) have complained about all of them. Kids are, by definition, selfish, manipulative little shits who think the world revolves around them. This is especially true for their mums - it's our job to introduce reality.

Don't beat yourself up OP - sounds like you're doing a great job. Just wait till they're both tweens/teens: DS12 would barely notice if I buggered off to Australia for a month these days (as long as food/snacks/clean tracksuits magically appeared).

"I advise that you do not bite and I can assure you "not a cool dad", that you should also keep your rage to yourself. Better still, get some help for it."

Wow, you are really spoiling for a fight, aren't you?

I advise that you do not bite and I can assure you "not a cool dad", that you should also keep your rage to yourself. Better still, get some help for it.

@ThatSpryShaker

Fine. If that's the attitude you want to have towards your kid's feelings about their lifestyle. Go you!

Okay dokey, I see you are being beillgerent and wanting a bit of rage I'll bite because im bored waiting for my train.

So I should have given up my job that was paying well at the time, and paying our mortgage, bills and food because ds didnt like me doing it.

Yes, of course I should have given it up, defaulted on the mortgage, let the children eat rubbish food and get the bailiffs round because my kid said he didn't like my job.

Get real!

A few weeks later he'd forgotten he had said it.
How many more idiotic posts are you going to do?

Fine. If that's the attitude you want to have towards your kid's feelings about their lifestyle. Go you!

Some people hate their parents being butchers, because they're vegans, sometimes they hate their parents being teachers, because they teach at their school. Some hate their parents being royals because it means they're never out of the public spotlight.

Whatever someone does, there's always the potential for their kids to be impacted, and for their kids to hate it.

Parents do what they must to provide the best standard of living and lifestyle they can manage for their kids and themselves, according to their abilities and circumstances. Kids will get to decide for themselves what they want to do with their lives, how they want to earn a crust. They don't get, with their limited perceptions, experiences and understanding, to decide what their parents do.

*ThatSpryShaker.

To be honest pub life doesn't seem so bad!*
To you
Indeed.

Ds2 didnt like my job when I worked with older people when he was 5.
Well tough to be honest.

I agree. Being a working parent, there is always a trade off.
I've been a shift worker in the NHS, clinical frontline role for years. That meant some Christmas days, I was working. But it also meant I could request or swap my shifts around so that I could go to sports days, Christmas concerts, coffee mornings, other school events etc. I could also do the school run 3 or more times a week.
A parent working mon- Friday 9-5 will miss school events, may not get to do the normal school run etc.
The vast majority of working parents compromise in some way.

To you.