Controversial approach to Santa

Why do you have to contribute to what Santa brings? Nothing magical about bank transfers. If you're going to do Santa, why turn him into a delivery driver?

Ah I think it's a shame not to sprinkle a little magic on Christmas for a few years at least. It's such a short time that they believe but it's so wonderful to watch them on Christmas morning and see the excitement. So lovely putting out the carrots and mince pies etc.

But I understand the feeling about lying to them. We always said as soon as they outright ask if he is real we wouldn't lie but would say something like 'what do you think?'. Think we are probably on the last few years of believing here (have a 10yr old and 7 year old). 10 year old has sussed it but still plays along and is kind of in on the joke but hasn't admitted that they know!

We have kept it kind of low key here though, so Santa has only ever brought the stockings. The main presents under the tree are and always have been from us!

Well, it bit compulsory! You don’t HAVE to celebrate it if you don’t want to! I promise the Christmas police won’t come and arrest you! 😂

The "magic" of Santa is perhaps missing in your Christmas but you enjoy it with that aspect. I have found the magic to be a lovely experience as a parent. The kids get swept up in it and so excited thinking he comes to the house on a magical sleigh. The magic of wondering if they will see him in the sky/hear him on the roof. I remember it as a child. We weren't well off and didnt receive loads of gifts or anything expensive each year but I loved the build up. I do it for my kids and its nice to experience it as a parent/adult. I dont tell them everything is from santa and I do tell them that I have to contribute towards the gifts santa does bring. I think i will have two more santa years before they grow out of it/realise its impossible. Im enjoying it whilst it lasts.

I dont think you are being controversial.

I don't have any memory at all of believing in Father Christmas, because (my mother told me when I asked as an adult) my older brother let me into the truth when I was 3 - a boy at school had told him, apparently.

I loved Christmas as a child nonetheless and don't believe it was any less special for me.

We started off small with FC but nursery/school got them fully into it so now we are elf on the shelf-ing.

If my kids ask me FC related questions I just sort of mysteriously say "what do you think?" They want to believe so always have an explanation haha

I don’t see where the extra effort is.

Don't be silly, you can have stockings without wittering on about this creepy guy with a white beard.

And believe you me, 8 year olds are just going along with it to humour you (and because they like the rituals).

I honestly don't recall my parents ever mentioning santa to me. I don't remember ever believing in it, just thinking it was a fun character like the Easter bunny. Maybe it's less common now to take that approach, but it sounds normal to me. I haven't made a big deal of santa to my kids either, but they're all still VERY excited by Christmas.

I don't think this is a controversial approach at all with kids age 2 and 3. You just ignore Santa from what I can tell. Santa visits are over rated at that age imo.

And even when they're older, in my experience you will be in the minority as most primary school age children think Santa brings them (some of their) presents. However I'd be shocked if you were unique in the friends group. Friends who didn't do Santa had a present called their "Santa present" and when people asked what Santa got them they said that one. But Santa also wasn't banned, so they had Santa hats and if Santa came to school they saw him, etc. They just knew the presents were from mum and dad, not Santa. It was still fun and magical.

You could also "not do Santa" in a totally joyless and condescending way. If you wish.

This is what we do. Gifts are from people which is why people have different budgets and different gifts but Santa helps arrange and delivers everything.

My DD was suspicious from reception. She knew by Year 2 but humoured us "I know and you know I know" but DS was Year 3.

So many parents at school insist their kids believe but DC are like "everyone talks about how they are just keeping their parents happy by pretending to believe". The playground is pretty ruthless.

Im all for Santa and kids having the magical experience of him,i don't think they should believe all their big presents should be from him though,parents work hard for them why should he get all the credit,yes say santa delivers them,say parents send him the money he makes them and delivers them,use stocking or one small present from him..years and years ago I would have said different but I'm a single mother of 4 for a very long time and changed my thinking along time ago..damn if my children thought santa was bringing all their stuff that I worked 3 jobs and 70 hours for and their Dad would sit their smiling saying isn't santa great after giving nothing.. nope you do you along as its not ruined for other kids xx

I don't think it's controversial or weird. I would just make sure you don't rain on other people's parade. Your kids are probably to young to ruin it for your sil kids, and hopefully by the time they are old enough your sil kids will have grown out of it. We evolved to just have no tags on gifts other than the person it was for, and it works for us. So to each their own, as long as you are respecting others choices... no big deal

Blimey.🤐

Fair enough @AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti Fair to say, we are all individuals with our own preferences.

I don’t consider it at all trivial.

Xmas films, yes. (Assuming you mean Die Hard and Home Alone.)

Of course we haven’t left carrots and mince pies out - that would be encouraging belief. And DD never showed any interest in doing so. It would be like giving her a prayer mat or communion wafers…….

We didn't have stockings as children and we don't do one for DS. He was aware of father Christmas as a child but I don't remember him ever thinking he was real.
I don't understand this magic of Christmas business!

Have your kids never watched a Christmas film or left a mince pie out for santa and a carrot for rudolph.

I’ve always told my daughter that Santa sends parents an invoice (my partner is a gas engineer so sends invoices to customers so this is why 🤣).
So that answers why everyone’s piles are different so some kids don’t feel like Santa brought them much or some got a lot more than someone else. It’s the parents that pay.
Also with the different Santas, sometimes Santa sends an elf dressed as Santa so they can pass the message on as he’s really busy in December. There was one Santa that was honestly amazing and even I believed he was the real thing 🤣 so that was the real Santa we seen and one crap one we seen another year was a helper 🤣
It’s really not as traumatising as people are making out, I remember feeling gutted when I found out but it’s worth it for the magical years you do get.

I’m not saying follow the herd- I’m saying it seems a lot of effort over something so trivial that doesn’t really matter. Absolutely buck the trend where it’s something that’s meaningful and that matters but Father Christmas?

OP doesn't have a problem though. Her SIL does. OP is happy to live and let live without overthinking it.

Toe the line, everyone! Don’t be different. Don’t do any of that thinking bollocks. Follow the herd!

(Fuck that.)