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Original poster

Controversial approach to Santa

507 replies

Lynsey953 · 15/10/2025 06:50

My children are 2 and 3 and I have never spoken to them about Santa. I've never said anything about him and they've never asked. We don't pay for them to see Santa and I don't allow other people to make a big deal about Santa in front of them (i.e. this present is from Santa, I would rather people say "this is from me merry Christmas").

This is how I was brought up and I have lovely memories of Christmas.

My sister in law is very upset by this and is worried that my controversial approach to Santa is going to ruin the magic for her kids. She has requested that we go to my parents house for Christmas day so that my kids don't ruin Christmas for her kids (8 and 9).

I am fine with this but I hadn't realised my approach was so controversial.

Is it? It's just what myself and my siblings always had.

OP posts:
autienotnaughty · 15/10/2025 07:00

Your kids are too young to fully understand Santa, they may get in to it a bit more when they go to school. If they ask about Santa what do you plan to say?
Your sils kids are coming to the end (most kids know around yr 4/5) it’s highly unlikely your kids will spoil it for them if anything it’s more likely your kids will get caught up in it.
i wouldn’t let anyone tell me where to spend Xmas.

40andlovelife · 15/10/2025 06:59

Your approach is your approach. Personally I do feel you have massively missed out on the magic and your children will too. You don’t know what your kids are missing out on because you never had it. In terms of your sis in law I get where she is coming from. I have never heard of anyone take the approach you are so I get why she is shocked. You best keep up the magic for her kids and play along with the Santa magic if you are expecting her not to mention Santa to yours!

Original poster
Lynsey953 · 15/10/2025 06:59

We give them stockings from us 🙂. It's not Christmas morning, it was just Christmas lunch so from about 2:30pm onwards. Honestly, I know a lot of people who have so many different approaches to Christmas that I wouldn't say it was entirely unusual. We have presents, stockings but I just never mention Santa.

OP posts:
PegDope · 15/10/2025 06:59

It’s not controversial, it is weird though.

GoodGollyMissDolly · 15/10/2025 06:57

Your kids, your rules! The only difficulty I can foresee is if your kids started to tell other kids that ‘Santa wasn’t real’ as that could be tricky for them (both yours and others) to manage at a young age, but I don’t think your approach is controversial. I had a colleague who very starkly told her children Santa categorically wasn’t real as she ‘didn’t want to be party to lies to children’. So, each to their own!

Bumbun · 15/10/2025 06:57

I mean, it’s completely up to you. It isn’t criminal nor cruel and you said yourself without necessarily knowing/centering Christmas around Santa it didn’t make it any less special.

This is the main thing I think, as long as Christmas (if you celebrate it) is magical in one way or another then I don’t see the issue.

Having said that though, you will probably be in the minority and a lot of people will ask ‘why not?’ and I can totally see your SIL’s concerns if she, like myself, takes the magic of Santa fairly seriously! You just both need to respect eachothers wishes here I think, OP.

TheBlueHotel · 15/10/2025 06:56

So your kids won't have stockings? That's fine for your family but you must know it's unusual and I'm not surprised people wouldn't want to spend Christmas morning with you if they have children who will be getting them.

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