Controversial approach to Santa

St Nicholas was a Christian bishop.

I was like this when my kids were toddlers but by the time the eldest was in school, it was talked about so much by them that we just gave up and embraced it. I regret missing out on the santa experiences in the first few years now

A fairy tale - like unicorns or the Gruffallo 😂

We were never that fussed about Father Christmas (can’t bring myself to call him Santa). But by the time they were your kids ages they’d picked it up from nursery and were really into it. So we had the stockings from FC, with a few small gifts in it - chocolate, small toy etc. DD actually really believed until she was at the end of primary school. That said there were loads of kids in her class who didn’t (mainly Muslim and Jewish kids) and it wasn’t an issue

Also (I should be getting ready for work but feel ill so this is a nice procrastination) how do people who go all in for Father Christmas explain how some kids get nothing?

Probably being overly emotional, but imagine being a 6 year old in a neglected /abusive household and being bombarded with messages saying FC will turn up in you’ve been good and not in you are naughty.

It just has never sat well with me, so preferred to keep it all very low key. We do stocking and presents but, despite being well off, spend a fraction compared to the amounts mentioned on here (which I know to take with a pinch of salt).

Weirder than lying to little kids? I did all the Santa and reindeer stuff when my kids were small but I don’t think it’s that which made Christmas great. My adult kids still love it. Tbh, it always did feel a bit off to pretend some fat bloke came down the chimney! And the knots people tie themselves up in to ‘keep the magic’-that’s pretty weird. And get upset when others don’t follow their choices.

She doesn’t plan on telling them the truth, she plans on not mentioning Santa, asking others not to mention Santa, and ignore any questions about Santa. That’s why it’s weird for me! Just telling them would be different.

I think you are sensible. I am the same. Going to extreme lengths to lie to your children is mental and immoral IMO

Why would they ask that? Presumably they’re still getting presents?

We had lots of Father Christmas fun but your approach seems fine to me. Your SIL though…

I find it weird as I am a Santa lover. Everything under the tree on Christmas morning has come from Santa
(Presents from family members are minimal anyway but my children know they come from family as given on different days when we see them)
I absolutely love it, I love seeing the wonder on my children's faces.
Don't do stockings though

I agree. If children were to all sit down and talk about Santa, they’d notice the massive inconsistencies. But the child who gets all presents from Santa never wonders why their parents don’t get them anything after they’ve spoken to a child who gets a stocking from Santa and other presents are just from who they’re from (which is they way we do it).

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Its fine! Like you we never had santa made into real or not real growing up i cant remember what we did or didnt believe to be honest but always knew gifts came from the people giving them...
In laws are very much in the "santa this santa that" camp so like you im just pretty neutral. We do take him to see santa in local places and I dont really see the issue as he gets older in (like God or the tooth fairy) going down the line of "some people believe this and others believe that" i dont think he will ruin any others kids dreams with that surely?!

We never told our kids Santa was real. We did them stockings, and told them the presents had been put in by Mummy and Daddy pretending to be Santa. They found the whole thing hilarious imaging us creeping around pretending to be Santa! It was, however, extremely tricky whenever we were with the cousins on Christmas morning who were doing the whole carrot/mince pie thing. We did manage it though… just had to be careful!

At those ages I’d say SIL had maybe one more year of Santa, if that. I’d let her have it tbh and go elsewhere.

Utter rubbish!

What about all the images of a man in red with a white beard? Who do you say he is?

It’s not ‘cruel’…but it’s pretty sad to be honest!

Why? What’s weird about not lying to your children?

Your children, your rules. I also don’t think it’s ok to ask you not to attend a family event. I do agree with her that you need to find a way to respect her wishes of the magic around Santa for her family though and that would include your children being able to understand that Santa is real for their family but not theirs. That will be the same for almost every other family of friends at nursery/school etc and they’ll be faced with that scenario throughout their primary school life so it’s probably something you need to get used to for them because they will be exposed to Santa whether through you or not and I imagine will feel excluded unless you actively explain why he doesn’t visit them. Would you not even let a small thing be from Santa? It might be easier.

I am very lukewarm on Santa. I do stockings, and don't go out of my way to announce to small children that he isn't real. My own children's questions I meet with a "what do you think" or "doesnt that sounds exciting" kind of thing.

I am possibly too literally minded, but I can't get over feeling like I am lying to them if I state, factually, this man comes here while you're sleeping and leaves gifts. And I am quite hot on them telling the truth!

My kids always had stockings. We don’t perpetuate the myth of Santa. That’s life!

We are planning to do something similar with our children. Hopefully along the lines of saying we don't know if Father Christmas is real or not, but that we (the adults) believe he is!

I'm in my 30s and he has always been Santa to me

I feel I should add, I did tell them it was a game lots of parents played with their children and they shouldn’t spoil the game. But as they were young I don’t know how much they would’ve have stuck to that.