Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this be embarrassing in your family?

212 replies

Lorecan · 14/10/2025 23:06

I know it’s only trivial but it’s hit a nerve.

So my family finds everything embarrassing. As a result I’m rarely able to say anything meaningful or share a soppy toast ona birthday for example. I think it comes from Dh who finds any expression of emotion saccharine. DC have followed suit.

Yesterday we watched Baby Boom (in memory of Diane Keaton who is a fav of mine) and I really enjoyed it. As the credits rolled I raised my mug and said “RIP Diane”.

Apparently I was being embarrassing! I’m hardly a soppy git and quite low key myself but it would be nice to occasionally be a bit more emotional

anyone else have families like this?

OP posts:
RoseAlone · 14/10/2025 23:30

My family isn't like that but I'd have been embarrassed too.

spoonbillstretford · 14/10/2025 23:29

I don't think it's normal for teens to cringe at emotional displays either. My DDs never have, they are usually weeping at the same things!

Original poster
Lorecan · 14/10/2025 23:29

It was heartfelt. And sincere. I meant it.

OP posts:
Jamesblonde2 · 14/10/2025 23:29

Lorecan · 14/10/2025 23:12

Is it THAT cringey? People go to lay flowers and wail for strangers. I was very low key.

Yes

MusicalCarbuncle · 14/10/2025 23:29

Yeah, I find the whole royal dead worship thing weird but if people feel moved that’s fine… but what is with the never being able to make a nice toast or (presumably) say you’re super proud of your closest family when you are?? That’s not British - it’s horribly emotionally stunted.

Firedrink · 14/10/2025 23:29

How controlling of your husband, manipulative and a bit creepy.
Of course it has now affected your children.

Loved that movie, loved Diane Keaton.
Tell him sod off.

What is the point of marriage to such awful domineering men.

oviraptor21 · 14/10/2025 23:29

I'm with you OP. Come and join me on my sofa and we can be sentimental (aka not repressed) together.

DappledThings · 14/10/2025 23:28

Lorecan · 14/10/2025 23:26

But what about all the people queuing up to pay their respects to the Queen? I was paying my respects in a very understated way. Im not one for worshipping celebrities but I’ve always admired DK. Plus she’s been in films that are extremely nostalgic for me. A quick line is cringey?

That was a public and formal event. That's why it would have made me laugh awkwardly, you doing something suited to a public event in your private space. It just makes it funny.

Bonden · 14/10/2025 23:28

It made my toes curl, sorry.

LadyLolaRuben · 14/10/2025 23:28

It was a nice acknowledgement. It was at home in private, more thinking out loud. Dont give it a second thought

Original poster
Lorecan · 14/10/2025 23:28

I watched Father of the Bride on repeat as a child

OP posts:
FeeFiFoFummy · 14/10/2025 23:27

dontcomeatme · 14/10/2025 23:14

I think it's because you come across as "performative".
You could have said "aw it's such a shame she died I love her as an actress". That's not cringey or embarrassing.
But to raise your glass to the dead and say RIP is performative behaviour, that's what's embarrassing them x

Exactly this. I am a right soppy git and since having kids cry at almost anything but raising a toast is performative and totally cringey. And I felt embarrassed reading that. I would however, totally say “aww she was such a great actress, such a shame she has died, I feel quite sad about it as the new generation of actresses aren’t the same” or something like that, and that is heartfelt and factual.

so odd you did that.

Original poster
Lorecan · 14/10/2025 23:26

But what about all the people queuing up to pay their respects to the Queen? I was paying my respects in a very understated way. Im not one for worshipping celebrities but I’ve always admired DK. Plus she’s been in films that are extremely nostalgic for me. A quick line is cringey?

OP posts:
SpackelFrog · 14/10/2025 23:25

SpackelFrog · 14/10/2025 23:25

I’m so sorry, I’m British and possibly English so it’s awkward.

Unless it’s a dog and then I’m onboard.

Show quote history

English?! Autistic 😂😂😂

spoonbillstretford · 14/10/2025 23:25

It's not remotely weird to briefly nod to someone who passed away you were a fan of. And even if it were, so what? You are allowed to be weird and eccentric if you like.

MusicalCarbuncle · 14/10/2025 23:25

I think it’s really sad you can’t say some nice words on someone’s birthday if you want to. We don’t go in for that sort of thing verbally but we write nice soppy things in cards. Is even that verboten?

SpackelFrog · 14/10/2025 23:25

Lorecan · 14/10/2025 23:12

I’m sick of living in an emotionless vacuum

I’m so sorry, I’m British and possibly English so it’s awkward.

Unless it’s a dog and then I’m onboard.

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 14/10/2025 23:24

They’re just being weird tbh. And even if it’s cringe, so what? The safety of your own home should be where you’re free to be as cringe as you want.

My brother is one of those people who finds everything [others do] embarrassing and it gets annoying fast. When we used to hang out with him, we’d constantly be told off about… everything. Poor DD couldn’t catch a break around him.

We barely speak anymore and as sad as it sounds, I don’t miss him. You can’t live your life performing for strangers.

MusicalCarbuncle · 14/10/2025 23:23

I think the wider issue is that you feel you can’t ever express sentimental stuff without feeling weird?

It’s normal for teens to cringe at any visible emotional display from the adults in their lives, but less so for those adults to cringe at emotional displays by other adults. I’d find living like that unbearable personally.

I (very) frequently cry at TV and film; my kids are mortified but I don’t care, and I would never choose a partner who never showed any emotion or sentimentality at all.

Original poster
Lorecan · 14/10/2025 23:23

I didn’t say it in a dramatic or mawkish manner. just a normal, neutral tone of voice

OP posts:
zazazaaar · 14/10/2025 23:21

Teenagers are programmed to find everything we do as cringe as fuck.
I remember DS once saying my face was embarrassing. Im not that bad looking. I think it was just that I own a face.

I cry at everything which is embarrassing as is talking in public, walking near them, I think having a parent is embarrassing. Your DH is just immature.

PiggieWig · 14/10/2025 23:21

I dunno, I think it sounds quite sweet really, as long as it wasn’t done too sombrely.

HeddaGarbled · 14/10/2025 23:21

No one in my family would have been embarrassed but they would have thought you were being a bit weird.

Are these teenagers, though? You embarrass your teenagers if you do anything except skivvy for them silently and, frequently, even then.

DappledThings · 14/10/2025 23:19

CharlotteFlax · 14/10/2025 23:16

YANBU! Jesus Christ guys, not cringey at all, just a nice little nod to DK!

It's the jarring mix of the public gesture in a private space that makes it cringy. A toast to someone is a little ritual of public performance. It's for a group of people in at least a semi-formal setting.

Someone doing that on their sofa in front of just their family would make me laugh.

Aparecium · 14/10/2025 23:17

Nope, not at all. And we’re not into celebrities at all. But emotions are allowed in this family. Expression of emotion is allowed. Appreciation of others is allowed.