Would this be embarrassing in your family?

I'd have thought that was quite sweet

Sorry this is nonsense. Raising a glass happens in private homes all the time.

You are infront of your own family, if you can’t comfortably be yourself there where can you be yourself. I find this thread a bit sad tbh. I would hope DH would never feel embarrassed at home in front of me and DD for just saying something.

I would hate to have to self monitor in front of my own Dh and DC like that, I’d find it a bit soul destroying.

I see nothing wrong with what you did. For anyone that does, it’s obviously about them, not you iykwim.

I think your husband needs to learn manners and respect. As a parent it’s not ok to pass this controlling and judgmental behaviour to his kids.

It’s hardly crime of the century, they do sound an unemotional bunch.

Well this is next level. You can be embarrassed in your own home. You can’t do what you want in the home you’ve paid for in case it embarrasses the kids. 😂
Do your family hang on to your every word Op? I don’t think it’s cringey at all- what you do in your own home is quite frankly your business.

Some people can’t show emotion- I think it’s quite sad, but be dammed if my kids will rule my roost!

If you said "Rest in Peace Diane" , I wouldn't have found that embarrassing. If you said "RIP" then I would have found that a embarrassing. Lifting your mug is a bit performative, and is a bit embarrassing esp. if you were with people who don't know you too well. If you were with family, they shouldn't be overly judgemental I don't think, because as family we embrace each others quirks and all. I'm sure your family must have various quirks that you choose to ignore because you love them. That said, what I do find bloody cringy and embarrassing are those who write posts on Facebook to their dead mum/dad/ grandparents telling them how much they miss them etc and reminding the dead loved one how long it has been since they've died. Like wtf, that is very performative because they are doing that for comments/likes/lovehearts or that emoticon cuddling a heart. Surely they know that their deceased loved one doesn't have access to Facebook, or are they are silly enough to actually think that FB is some sort of spiritual medium 🙄. And some of these people have a full life with lots of family,friends and busy lives and yet they find time to post a message to their dead loved one on FB.

I agree. "Performative" has a connotation of being insincere. I don't think the OP was insincere at all. Her gesture would have been perfectly appropriate and understood in my family. But then again, we had a family get together to commemorate Jimmy Buffett, served hamburgers in Paradise with margaritas and played his songs throughout the evening.

OP's gesture was a small ceremony of remembrance. I think these types of ceremonies enrich lives, and we should do more of them. However, I should probably point out that I am American, and not British. That may make a difference.

I thought your comment was quite sweet.

People are miserable, you’re hardly screaming at the Sistine chapel.

I wouldn't do it myself, but don't see what's wrong with what you did personally.

I'm also confused about why they found it embarrassing? Assuming it was just you and your kids/oh there? It's not like you were showing them up in front of their friends

How often do you raise a glass for people? I’m assuming hardly ever. You also didn’t know Diane. Those things combined probably made your family feel embarrassed. It’s a pretty random thing to do.

As a previous poster said, just acknowledging she was a brilliant actor and it’s a shame she’s passed would be normal. Raising a glass is odd.

A nice little nod to DK is not embarrassing! A sort of cute thing to say. You did nothing wrong.

I imagine you feel you are policed with respect to your words etc?

It is okay to be different in this regard to your family but maybe they don't always have to comment on it? Would they stop if you asked? I don't think you should have to watch what you say at home if it's not hurtful, prejudice etc.

Your family are really unkind if they gave you stick over this.

Whether or not it’s “cringe” is neither here nor there, humiliating you over it is appalling.

i think its ok
RIP Diane

i may well have said that re Gene Hackman for example

To be honest, I would be embarrassed at the very least if I had a family member who was a fan of Diane Keaton, knowing what we know about her…

I don't think it's cringey at all.You hear a piece of news like that and you feel obliged to say something. Most people, I think, struggle.to say something original and fall back on a traditional, low key comment that everyone understands, such as RIP.

I would have found that embarrassing. I mean, why say it at all?

Tbh it's the sort of thing I would imagine someone doing if they also stand up and salute the national anthem at the start of the Queen/King's speech on Christmas day.

I cried when Liam Payne died. 1D were massive when I was a teenager, I would have loved it if they were able to do a reunion. Sadly not to be.

I suppose my family found that embarrassing for me.

Something can’t be simultaneously performative and sincere. Thats the whole point.

You made a modest gesture, you meant it, there’s no reason for people to be cringing.

It's not that cringe at all

Have you told your family this?

I think it’s the performance of it and the tone as if you knew her personally. Definitely a cringe moment. Agree with PP that you’d have the piss ripped out of you in my family.

I was wondering how you weren’t sure if you were English or not. 😂😂

well that's me grateful for my french canadian and italian roots!!
let out all the emotions from yelling at the kids like a tv worthy italian momma to hugging and kissing the cheeks of total strangers...
i cry at soppy movies too.

totally fine to raise a mug in my family.