Would this be embarrassing in your family?

I don’t think what you did was emotional. Instead. it was performance grief which is why I would find it cringey. I’d see it as something someone would do who was trying to put on a show rather than it being a genuine show of emotion.

I don’t see any problem with it. Your family sound a bit uptight and judgmental.

It’s not cringey at all. My family are a bit like this though, anything I say or do results in raised eyebrows whereas I don’t get that outside of my parents house

I think you need a different outlet for your sentimental side, OP. You do sound like a bit of a soppy sausage but you won’t be alone. You need to find your tribe.

I'd be annoyed at people alleging my entire personality was embarrassing. I mean in my family you need to do something pretty outrageous to be deemed embarrassing. If the person themselves doesn't feel embarrassed it's not an emotion you can force onto someone.

Team OP here.

By the standards of some posting here I should be publicly flogged for the ugly crying jag I had when Helen McCrory died - it was just a few weeks after my DM had died from cancer, and my (now late) DP and I had loved her in Peaky Blinders.

Funny thing is, the effort i have had to put into repressing my emotions after 5 close bereavements in as many years, means that really stupid things set me off. It all comes out somewhere apparently, and better a heartfelt toast to a loved celebrity in the privacy of one's own home if so moved than going suddenly postal in Sainsbury's.

Because that's the extreme result of not being allowed to show normal human emotions, be they a very restrained and heartfelt gesture like that described in the OP, or a good cry at something closer to home.

And sneering or belittling people is not a good look. Leads to all sorts of prolonged issues.

I think people have swallowed too much "resilience" claptrap, and don't realise that learning how to deal with emotion is part of building it, and it doesn't mean treating emotions as flaws to be corrected because it's uncomfortable for others.

Op you asked a question and you seem to disagreeing with everyone who has said it was a bit cringey.
That is obviously fine if you think what you did was ok but why ask AIBU if you obviously don’t think you are?

What about people who cheer or clap during sports events whilst watching them on tv? Is that cringe too?

People are fucking weird. It’s not at all cringe.

Diane Keaton was ace.

My grandfather, born 1893, WW1 survivor and very much a man of an earlier age, would sob at anything sad in a film (especially involving a horse in trouble) He toasted the living, he toasted the dead.

I don't think there is anything wrong with what you did OP.

🤣🤣🤣 I think we might be narrowing in on the issue. You take yourself very seriously, and feel that this is acceptable but when other people show an emotion (humour / laughter) this is not acceptable.

No! It's not that cringey.

I mean I wouldn't do it myself, but I certainly wouldn't sneer at someone for it.

I think it's your family's lack of tolerance and rudeness towards you that is "cringey", tbh. Tell them not to be so unkind.

Me too. I have a black, cynical heart.

Sorry but that is embarrassing. As someone else said it’s performative and that is cringey.
can you maybe give other examples of what your family find embarrassing?

How are "grief tourists" comparable to being uninhibited in your own home. It's a bit self obsessed to think people's choices are always about you and for the benefit of you.

I would have cringed massively at ‘RIP Diane’.

I also loathe mawkish grief tourists though - the type that lay a cheap bouquet of flowers at a site where someone died, or lived, just to gawp.

It would be fine in my family, OP.
I’d give my sons a ticking off if they mocked or belittled me for expressing an emotion when a favourite actor passed away.

I would totally do something like this. Far from being pre planned and performative it would have happened spontaneously. I am awkward as hell though.

As someone who grew up in a family where you mustn’t make a show of yourself.
wish I could! I wish I could dance, and express anything. Instead I sit there feeling awkward not knowing how to deal or be with anything!! I look like an absolute killjoy at a gig

it’s not healthy to feel that embarrassed by you doing that.

I think nothing wrong with what you did at all! Keep showing emotion, who cares!

No, I find OPs actions performative AND the happy heavenly birthday type posters are just attention seeking. ‘Happy heavenly birthday nan, you would have been 147 today. Miss you’….lol. Attention seeking twats. They’re usually the ones to post photos of themselves at hospital without explanation. After hours of people posting ‘hope you’re ok hun’ and ‘let me know if I can do anything’, it turns out they went a job interview or were visiting a neighbour, but they enjoyed the attention. 🙄

I'm from a family that don't do emotions but I don't think this is cringe!

Sounds a weird thing to do if you were sober. Perfectly acceptable if you were pissed, for some reason.
The British are a strange bunch!

Mumsnet: raising a glass to a dead celeb in the privacy of your own home is over-the-top, performative and cringy.

Also Mumsnet: People posting saccharine eulogies to their dead family members on FB every birthday, Christmas and death day - as though FB is a hotline to the afterlife - is nothing more than the done-thing, is not performative in the slightest, and anyone who thinks otherwise is a heartless arsehole.

OPs are generally on a hiding to nothing, whatever they post in AIBU, on most subjects.

It’s not the toast for me. It’s who you’re toasting.