Childcare catastrophe

Please rename thread ‘Husband catastrophe’

Sorry your husband is such a massive loser.

I feel sorry for you having a husband who is an utterly shit father and partner.

Did he literally say "it should be the mum who stays home when the child is ill"?!

That's such outrageously overt sexism that if it is in any way out of character could it indicate a medical issue?

If it's not out of character I'd be a bit concerned about someone like that raising my son.

I thought you were going to say that he couldn't really have a third day off due to his employer and difficulties there.
But it was his day off anyway. He basically prioritised himself and tried to make you feel like shit in the process.
It is not the mums job to take time off work every time a child is unwell. The load is shared when there are two working parents.
This would make me angry.

No it isn’t the point. You also shoulder some of the blame though, your child shouldn’t have been back in a nursery less than 24 hours after the last bout, it’s not ok just because the dad is lazy. Personally I’d be rethinking my relationship choices if I were you because he’s an idiot who doesn’t respect you, but DS shouldn’t have been back nursery regardless.

By the way I hope YOU get a day off sometimes? I don't. Maybe our partners know each other.

Urghhhhhhh. I'm a teacher here and it fills me with rage.

There is nothing worse than leaving your sick child to look after other people's children, BUT it's the job and his dad was there.

I bet he's glad for your job when you get paid and have every single sodding holiday doing free childcare until they're 16.

Well it's rather lucky DC was feeling loads better given that they were going to be palmed off by daddy regardless.

I'd be very, very unimpressed with my partner.

I'd also be very, very unimpressed if a child who had d&v was returned early to nursery (even more so if there was a parent at home!!)

He’s a bit of a lazy fucker really, isn’t he?

He is sending his sick child to his parents so he can have an extra day off work? Presumably telling work he is still caring for sick child. I’d be fuming at what he said.

I thought you said DD still had a bit of the runs yesterday? So isn’t 48 hours clear?

Wow. He also doesn't give a shit about the grandparents obviously

So your partner was off today anyway but wanted to send his ill child to nursery?

Please tell me this isn't how it all panned out?

Wow what a petty little man.... so he's happy to take a week off for him but is bitter about having to take 2 days off to look after his unwell DC?

He could of used that leave for future illnesses couldn't he. I am appalled at the pettiness of it. That's his punishment to you is it...... I'd really really struggle to move past this

His comments are sexist. If he really thinks that it brings lots of things into question about him as a partner and father. He’s not ‘stepping up’ to this part of parenting and is being nasty to you

taking annual leave at short notice for this purpose is pathetic and could piss off his work.

It’d also be shit treatment of the grandparents to expose them to risk of D&V while he has taken a day off! Because he’s been inconvenienced with work and done a couple of days of parenting. childcare shouldn’t be necessary and GPs are mugs if they put up with it!

He’s a misogynistic wanker but you know that. I look after DGD one day a week and DS let it slip that he had a week off to which I replied “you don’t need childcare then as you are at home to look after your child”. Love DS and I understand “me time” but as a parent it is a true luxury not a right.

So - every day that you are not working ie weekends and school holidays you have your DS. However your DP/DH gets a mid-week ‘alone’ day off (notably after being neither the main earner or the main parent-caregiver). How have you ended up with such a poor arrangement in the first place?

his current behaviour is simply an extension of the same entitlement he’s been allowed to get away with.

I'm not even going to comment on his unacceptable comments about prioritising other children. That’s outrageous!

Nope that’s not it. He’s taken 2 days off work with sick child. Tomorrow is his regular day off and he wants to send recovering child into nursery anyway

You will always be looking after your child in the holidays when they start school. I think your husband has to accept that he fills in all the other times.

This, exactly. If a kid only wants one parent, that's a clue to the other parent to get more involved (and I know it's not always that easy, but in this case, it doesn't really sound like he's trying). So are you saying he expects you to take time off when he's not working anyway? If you both had to work, I get it would be a problem, but if he's not working, why should he expect a rest day? Do you get a lot of days off work when he's doing all the parenting, OP?
As for saying mum should be the one taking time off with sick kids, I could just about understand that attitude if he was the main breadwinner and your job was pin money, like in the 50s...
For people criticising men in general, none of the ones I know would do this-my grandad looked after all the family when they were ill, insisted on my gran having the day in bed whenever she had gynae issues, and then cooked for them all, even though he had a full time heavy manual job and she didn't (mainly) work, so we shouldn't just say that men can't look after sick kids. I know lots who do. Sorry OP.

YANBU

I am a teacher. DH earns about 4 times what I do and he still has taken time off when DS couldn't go to childcare. He can still do the odd phonecall whilst DS is asleep/ watching TV. For teachers you are either there or you aren't and it's a huge headache for other people if you aren't. Your child has two parents ffs!

So he wants you to take a day off work so he can have a day of leisure time? Absolute no way.