Page 7 | I have just had a mortifying first date situation. Can people please tell me their stories for solidarity?

FatGirlSin · 2025-10-14T19:27:12+00:00

I met “Tom” online and we had been talking a few weeks and getting on well. Tom told me lots about his cat sooty and I was happy he was an animal lover. Met up for the first date at a bar between both our houses and hit it off straight away, we had some drinks then were supposed to be going for a meal but a drunk woman knocked her drink over him so Tom suggested we walk to his house (very close by) he could change his top and at the same time he’d order us an Uber to the restaurant. We got to his house and Tom went to change his top and I waited and had a glass of wine in his living room. I noticed a black cat on the windowsill and opened the window and let it in, Tom was ready to go so we left. The rest of date went well until the end of the night when we parted ways. Tom rang after he got home sounding astonished and asked if I’d let a black cat into his house. l said yes I thought sooty wanted letting in, Tom then told me that sooty is an indoor cat and was in🙈. Sooty is a grey Persian with a black nose and tips of ears, the cat I’d let in was a neighbours cat and the neighbour had seen him through the window in Toms house and wasn’t impressed. Both cats were unhappy about each others presence and Tom had to clean up the house and calm down his neighbour and explain he hasn’t deliberately been attempting cat napping. I feel so embarrassed and I told my best friend that I thought it was an easy mistake for anyone to make, she said that it was just typical of me. Has anyone else blown a decent date doing something embarrassing? I’m not sure I’ll hear from Tom again.

AutumnCosy2025 · 14/10/2025 21:56

Oops!!! 😂

understandable mistake! Though I'm surprised you hadn't already seen photos of his cat.

If I was him I'd be a bit annoyed you hadn't asked about letting the cat in when you knew we were going straight out (there are several reasons why someone might not want a cat let in - not being theirs is right up there!!)

Given he had to clean up after two unhappy cats and the scare of how much worse it could have been, I wouldn't be surprised if he's not seeing the funny side - yet

if I really liked you on the date I!d forgive you & want to see you again, but I'd be taking the P at every opportunity!!

MummaMummaMumma · 14/10/2025 21:55

If he doesn't see the funny side then is he really someone you would want a relationship with?

qwertyasdfgzxcv · 14/10/2025 21:54

You are Miranda, aren't you?

Somerandomgirl · 14/10/2025 21:54

Actually now is your chance to see what kind of man he is. How will he react to such a human mistake made by you. And make your conclusions. Will he laugh or be angry. Stay or run. 😉

Minimalistmamaoftwo · 14/10/2025 21:54

MCF86 · 14/10/2025 21:39

Yep, if someone says "they go through me", they may as well have said "there's a real risk I'd shit myself if I ate that". I've never known there could be another meaning!

Show quote history

Yep mortifying, it’s such a common thing to say amongst my friendship group that it never even crossed my mind it could mean anything else 🤦🏻‍♀️

Copiousamountsofpulses · 14/10/2025 21:53

But did you go for Chinese and other eating afterward this? 😂

NessShaness · 14/10/2025 21:52

Crapola25 · 14/10/2025 21:04

I know someone who fell in the Thames on their first date - fully in. Had to be rescued by water police patrol.

I need to hear this story 😂

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 14/10/2025 21:52

Maybe Black Cat is a girl who's had her eye on Sooty and you opened the window to romance OP.

Next thread: Grandad Tom and Baby Sootys...🙀😻

AleaEim · 14/10/2025 21:50

Very strange of you op, you just opened his window without asking knowing he has a cat, you’re lucky the indoor cat didn’t escape. Why didn’t you mention it throughout the whole date? Is this even real?

DrowningInSyrup · 14/10/2025 21:50

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

OMG, this is not where I thought this was going! 😆

I bet he's married to some Supermodel and living in the Maldives.

FeckedInFrance · 14/10/2025 21:48

I had a dreadful second date.

After meeting for a promising first date coffee he invited me out to dinner in a naice restaurant. He was tall, handsome, sophisticated, athletic and very very charming.

All was going well as I left the table after the first course to use the loo (check for starter stuck in my teeth). Upon my return, whilst confidently striding back to the table in my new high heeled boots, I skidded on some food on the wooden floor. It was one of those skids that makes you let out a high pitched yelp the moment you start the skid because you know you’ve no control and it’s going to be an absolutely big one. So a loud strange sounding yelp just to get the entire restaurant’s attention, followed by an elephant-on-ice-skates type of tumble, before hitting the ground hard whilst taking with me the freestanding ice bucket and bottle of Champagne that the adjacent table had ordered.

I sprained my wrist, snapped my charm bracelet and the champagne bottle and ice bucket emptied on my crotch. It was probably one of my most undignified life moments to that point. I tried to style it out but had to call it a day after the main course because I was in quite a bit of pain, sore wrist, sore leg and bottom muscles and wet through jeans. He promised to call me for a third date but that was 2002 and I’m still waiting.

Cherrysoup · 14/10/2025 21:46

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

Dear god! what a crying shame.

Weirdly, I got on incredibly well with a friend of my ex, but only over the phone. We had epic chats, but he just didn’t spark any lust in me, so nothing ever happened, but honestly, I was a bit gutted, we got on so well, never a dull moment. On the phone!

ChampagneLassie · 14/10/2025 21:41

NinaGeiger · 14/10/2025 21:11

I also heard a girl on the radio saying she had a great date and stayed at the guys house. He left early in the morning for work and she was alone in his house.
She did a big poo that wouldn't go down the toilet so she found a carrier bag and fished the poo out and put it in the carrier bag to take away with her and dispose of.
On the way out she put the bag down and wrote a note saying what a great time she'd had and this was her number.
Then just as she closed the front door behind her and it locked, she realised she had left the carrier bag with the poo in inside the house, next to the note

This is brilliant

ReadingSoManyThreads · 14/10/2025 21:41

MCF86 · 14/10/2025 21:39

Yep, if someone says "they go through me", they may as well have said "there's a real risk I'd shit myself if I ate that". I've never known there could be another meaning!

Show quote history

Oh goodness, so when I decline tea and say "it goes right through me", they think it makes me have the shits??? Jeez, I just mean it makes me need a wee quickly!

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 14/10/2025 21:39

Totally his fault for calling a grey cat sooty when a black cat lives next door and is keen to get in. If he can’t see the funny side then I wouldn’t be interested in a second date anyway.

Not a first date, but early in the relationship: we were young enough to both still be living with parents, but old enough for me to stay over at his (early twenties). We’d been out for a meal with friends. I ended up with food poisoning and was violently ill at his house. Didn’t make it to the loo quick enough and threw up on the bathroom floor. The bathroom was carpeted (a fashion that has thankfully died out!). His mum initially thought I was drunk and was annoyed, but once he’d explained she was absolutely lovely about it. I was really dizzy and had to stay in bed (I’d moved to the spare room, we’d both gone off the idea of sharing by this point!). I remember trying to fall asleep to the sound of his mum scrubbing my vomit out of the bathroom carpet. Apparently it didn’t put him off. We’ve been married 22 years now. His mum is the most wonderful mother in law. I wonder if she remembers the incident, I’ll mention it when I see her next.

MCF86 · 14/10/2025 21:39

Chiaseedling · 14/10/2025 21:35

Yes I thought you meant they gave you the runs!!!

Show quote history

Yep, if someone says "they go through me", they may as well have said "there's a real risk I'd shit myself if I ate that". I've never known there could be another meaning!

mrsCtheRed · 14/10/2025 21:37

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

This whole story has me howling!! 😂😂😂😂😂

ChampagneLassie · 14/10/2025 21:35

Ha that sounds very presumptuous that you did that and didn’t mention it! I hope his flat is ok and the cats not too and you get another chance!

Chiaseedling · 14/10/2025 21:35

Minimalistmamaoftwo · 14/10/2025 21:07

@Beekman this had me in tears 😂 I could just picture you not being hypnotised!
I had a first date once with someone from London, we went to a seafood restaurant and he ordered oysters, when they arrived I said no thanks they go through me. A perfectly normal thing to say where I am from meaning they give me the ick. He looked at me really strangely but said nothing. It was only several dates later when we were at borough market and I said I’d try an oyster that he said don’t they give you a funny tummy, the horror 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes I thought you meant they gave you the runs!!!

Barney16 · 14/10/2025 21:32

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

After a very trying day this made me laugh so much I nearly rolled off the sofa. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

imogena · 14/10/2025 21:31

Ok so he has an indoor cat. Where exactly was the indoor cat when you were inside the house? Did Tom not introduce you to his much loved cat then or tell you to be careful not to let it out (I have an indoor cat and they are both things I’d do).

Katie0909 · 14/10/2025 21:31

SparklyCardigan · 14/10/2025 20:31

This is Tom's own fault for calling a grey cat Sooty.

This!!

Namechangerage · 14/10/2025 21:24

What the hell OP?! That’s definitely not a normal thing to do without checking! A quick “Bob, I think your cat needs letting in” would suffice!

But it is absolutely hilarious so thank you 🤣

Hillsmakeyoustrong · 14/10/2025 21:23

Well I'd promptly fall in love with you after that.

Thoughtful AND helpful. What's not to like?!

MrsTigerface · 14/10/2025 21:20

SparklyCardigan · 14/10/2025 20:31

This is Tom's own fault for calling a grey cat Sooty.

Absolutely this! It’s Tom who has caused the confusion here. Nothing to do with you - you are a complete innocent in all this.