Page 5 | I have just had a mortifying first date situation. Can people please tell me their stories for solidarity?

FatGirlSin · 2025-10-14T19:27:12+00:00

I met “Tom” online and we had been talking a few weeks and getting on well. Tom told me lots about his cat sooty and I was happy he was an animal lover. Met up for the first date at a bar between both our houses and hit it off straight away, we had some drinks then were supposed to be going for a meal but a drunk woman knocked her drink over him so Tom suggested we walk to his house (very close by) he could change his top and at the same time he’d order us an Uber to the restaurant. We got to his house and Tom went to change his top and I waited and had a glass of wine in his living room. I noticed a black cat on the windowsill and opened the window and let it in, Tom was ready to go so we left. The rest of date went well until the end of the night when we parted ways. Tom rang after he got home sounding astonished and asked if I’d let a black cat into his house. l said yes I thought sooty wanted letting in, Tom then told me that sooty is an indoor cat and was in🙈. Sooty is a grey Persian with a black nose and tips of ears, the cat I’d let in was a neighbours cat and the neighbour had seen him through the window in Toms house and wasn’t impressed. Both cats were unhappy about each others presence and Tom had to clean up the house and calm down his neighbour and explain he hasn’t deliberately been attempting cat napping. I feel so embarrassed and I told my best friend that I thought it was an easy mistake for anyone to make, she said that it was just typical of me. Has anyone else blown a decent date doing something embarrassing? I’m not sure I’ll hear from Tom again.

BauhausOfEliott · 14/10/2025 22:53

Any decent bloke would find this funny tbh. If someone was put off by it, I wouldn’t want a second date with them anyway!

fishtank12345 · 14/10/2025 22:49

Mrsoftandhisstrangeworld · 14/10/2025 20:32

I'd be far more concerned that you went to a man's house the first time you've met him.

this , plus I would think most would say to Tom, oh is that sooty wanting in , and not just... open his window. That is strange.

MiceAsPie · 14/10/2025 22:49

Was once - many years ago - really trying hard to impress on a second date. Really liked this guy and was trying to give the impression I was a sophisticated woman about town.

we were in a restaurant and I’d ordered scampi and chips which were more like potato wedges in size. I’m delicately nibbling away whilst hanging off his every word and I popped a rather large potato wedge in my mouth.

too late I realised it was actually a quarter of a lemon so I had to style out eating - and swallowing - this very sour fish accompaniment . It literally brought tears to my eyes but I woman fully chomped through it without batting an eyelid

what an idiot

Original poster

FatGirlSin · 14/10/2025 22:48

Showerflowers · 14/10/2025 22:42

My friend went on a date with a man who turned up wearing no trousers.

it was many years ago but this bloke was travelling far by train to meet for drinks then heading back. At the train station he’d put his hot chocolate down on the seat while he got something out his bag, then sat right on his hot chocolate. Big brown stain on his arse. He decides to dash out the station, grab new jeans and hurry back to catch the following train. He runs into a denim shop from back then called madhouse. Lots of jeans in piles in size order. He grabs one and pays. Gets to train just in time. Gets on and goes to toilet to change. The toilets disgusting and as he’s taking them off they dip onto the urine sodden floor. For some unknown reason the idiot decided to push the dirty jeans out the window! (This was in the 90’s). He then gets the new jeans out…..and realises he’s bought a denim jacket by mistake.

he was a true life mr bean

I’m sure I heard Karl Pilkington tell this story on XFM when I was listening to the old episodes, did your friend phone the radio station to tell the story by any chance? It was identical and defo the 90’s.

I think it’s hilarious this guys error of judgement is still being discussed 30+ years later 😂

OP posts:

Echobelly · 14/10/2025 22:45

Honestly, if things are meant to be between the two of you, this won't stop it. If this puts him off, it was probably never going to happen.

I'd agree if you want to move forward just take the piss out of yourself, like 'This is the sort of ridiculous shit you might have to put up with with me' or something.

LemonJellyLegs · 14/10/2025 22:44

Not quite a first date, but first time he had stayed over to dtd. Anyhoo, neighbour friends of mine had been teasing me about this for days, so when he left in the morning to go to work early, (I don't know why I did this) I got 6 pieces of printer paper and stuck them on the window with scores on, so my friends would see it on the way taking their kids to school. He only came back didn't he, to get his coat 😑 I didn't even score him well
0️⃣8️⃣ 0️⃣8️⃣ 0️⃣7️⃣

Readers, we didn't get married 😔

Cherryicecreamx · 14/10/2025 22:44

Showerflowers · 14/10/2025 22:42

My friend went on a date with a man who turned up wearing no trousers.

it was many years ago but this bloke was travelling far by train to meet for drinks then heading back. At the train station he’d put his hot chocolate down on the seat while he got something out his bag, then sat right on his hot chocolate. Big brown stain on his arse. He decides to dash out the station, grab new jeans and hurry back to catch the following train. He runs into a denim shop from back then called madhouse. Lots of jeans in piles in size order. He grabs one and pays. Gets to train just in time. Gets on and goes to toilet to change. The toilets disgusting and as he’s taking them off they dip onto the urine sodden floor. For some unknown reason the idiot decided to push the dirty jeans out the window! (This was in the 90’s). He then gets the new jeans out…..and realises he’s bought a denim jacket by mistake.

he was a true life mr bean

This is hilarious (and tragic for him of course) 🤣
He was trying so hard to get everything right.. and it still went wrong! Not surprised he gave up on the trousers in the end ahaha

Crazycatladywithnocats · 14/10/2025 22:44

Showerflowers · 14/10/2025 22:42

My friend went on a date with a man who turned up wearing no trousers.

it was many years ago but this bloke was travelling far by train to meet for drinks then heading back. At the train station he’d put his hot chocolate down on the seat while he got something out his bag, then sat right on his hot chocolate. Big brown stain on his arse. He decides to dash out the station, grab new jeans and hurry back to catch the following train. He runs into a denim shop from back then called madhouse. Lots of jeans in piles in size order. He grabs one and pays. Gets to train just in time. Gets on and goes to toilet to change. The toilets disgusting and as he’s taking them off they dip onto the urine sodden floor. For some unknown reason the idiot decided to push the dirty jeans out the window! (This was in the 90’s). He then gets the new jeans out…..and realises he’s bought a denim jacket by mistake.

he was a true life mr bean

🤣🤣

Showerflowers · 14/10/2025 22:42

My friend went on a date with a man who turned up wearing no trousers.

it was many years ago but this bloke was travelling far by train to meet for drinks then heading back. At the train station he’d put his hot chocolate down on the seat while he got something out his bag, then sat right on his hot chocolate. Big brown stain on his arse. He decides to dash out the station, grab new jeans and hurry back to catch the following train. He runs into a denim shop from back then called madhouse. Lots of jeans in piles in size order. He grabs one and pays. Gets to train just in time. Gets on and goes to toilet to change. The toilets disgusting and as he’s taking them off they dip onto the urine sodden floor. For some unknown reason the idiot decided to push the dirty jeans out the window! (This was in the 90’s). He then gets the new jeans out…..and realises he’s bought a denim jacket by mistake.

he was a true life mr bean

Cherryicecreamx · 14/10/2025 22:41

Oh this made me chuckle 😂 let us know if there's a date 2, I don't see why not!

The cynical part in me when I first read it thought it was a set up for a drink to be poured on him as an excuse to get you back to the house early! Glad the ending was better than where my head went!

Gosh a few of mine. Earlier this year went on a lush date and decided on this local wine.. it was so salty! And I ended up with the worst acid reflux and kept having to fly off to the bathroom.

Years ago went on a date where he turned up with his friend.. only I got on with the friend better 🫣

NovaF · 14/10/2025 22:41

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

This is amazing! Im not going to be able to sleep for laughing

Sminty2 · 14/10/2025 22:41

First date, lovely man. I was trying to look really elegant walking down a couple of steps in a restaurant. Missed the middle step, put my hands out to break my fall, right hand straight into the middle of a delicious Sachertorte on the top of the dessert trolley.

Not thinking straight, I wiped my hand on the back of my dress (I know) and walked back to the table. Sat down and finished the meal. When we stood up to leave, it looked like I had poohed my pants
during dinner.

Never saw him again.

curiouslycautious · 14/10/2025 22:40

A good friend of mine had a bit of a stomach bug on a first date. She really wanted to meet him so went anyway and ended up being sick all over him. 20 years and 3 children later, they love telling the story. 😂

Shellyash · 14/10/2025 22:39

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

You said no to £90, what is up with you?

Eleph42 · 14/10/2025 22:38

Omg that is absolutely hysterical 🤣🤣 if he doesn’t fall in love with you after that!!!

researchers3 · 14/10/2025 22:37

leopardprintpants · 14/10/2025 22:25

Not a first date but very early on.. I stayed over and woke up in the morning SOAKED. Had to wake him and tell him.

I had wet the bed. SOBER. Never happened before or since.

The next weekend I came on my period during the night.. it was like a murder scene. He ran to the shops for tampons, pain killers and 2 cakes from the bakers while I showered (and cried in the shower!)

Reader.. He married me.

What a keeper!!

Katflapkit · 14/10/2025 22:36

SparklyCardigan · 14/10/2025 20:31

This is Tom's own fault for calling a grey cat Sooty.

To be fair Sooty is grey with black ears

Cornflakegirl7 · 14/10/2025 22:36

Imbusytodaysorry · 14/10/2025 22:22

I remember this too and have never forgot it .
I remember thinking I’d have moved village and went into hiding if it was me.
I’m sure they lived local to one another and met in a club .

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I'd have pertained to it must've been a scorned neighbour or ex who had a key or someone who'd got a key cut related to previous occupants and didn't like them!

Catlover77 · 14/10/2025 22:36

Cornflakegirl7 · 14/10/2025 22:20

Another one suprised that if he loved his cat so much he didn't show you photographs nor did you ask to see one? And the subject of you having let in the cat never came up on the date? I would've said something like 'Can you check I've closed your window properly, just let your cat in?' Probably or at least asked to see the cat-It's a good conversation starter!

Also 'it goes through me' DEFINITELY has no meaning other than 'It give me the trots/shits/diarrhea/insert colloquial term for the same'!

It goes through me means it makes me cringe. That is a common expression around this neck of the woods

researchers3 · 14/10/2025 22:33

SparklyCardigan · 14/10/2025 20:31

This is Tom's own fault for calling a grey cat Sooty.

Ha, this!!

SP2024 · 14/10/2025 22:33

Brilliant! I wish I had good dating stories, everyone I saw before I met my husband was just boring or very normal. Everyone else has great dating stories. You should name your first child sooty 🤣

ChaliceinWonderland · 14/10/2025 22:32

BrunchBarBandit · 14/10/2025 21:15

Omg
I’m done

This is the BEST THING I have ever read on mumsnet

£90?! Random amount
Lick you out before his train?
Lizard outfit?!
Hypnosis via his ring?!
Being so stuck for conversation and having to ask about the contents of his rucksack (bless you); and then to be shown a porn mag!

This will be book-marked forever

Thank you

Edited

Show quote history

I also love this. Weird but so unforgettable!

Crazycatladywithnocats · 14/10/2025 22:32

FeckedInFrance · 14/10/2025 21:48

I had a dreadful second date.

After meeting for a promising first date coffee he invited me out to dinner in a naice restaurant. He was tall, handsome, sophisticated, athletic and very very charming.

All was going well as I left the table after the first course to use the loo (check for starter stuck in my teeth). Upon my return, whilst confidently striding back to the table in my new high heeled boots, I skidded on some food on the wooden floor. It was one of those skids that makes you let out a high pitched yelp the moment you start the skid because you know you’ve no control and it’s going to be an absolutely big one. So a loud strange sounding yelp just to get the entire restaurant’s attention, followed by an elephant-on-ice-skates type of tumble, before hitting the ground hard whilst taking with me the freestanding ice bucket and bottle of Champagne that the adjacent table had ordered.

I sprained my wrist, snapped my charm bracelet and the champagne bottle and ice bucket emptied on my crotch. It was probably one of my most undignified life moments to that point. I tried to style it out but had to call it a day after the main course because I was in quite a bit of pain, sore wrist, sore leg and bottom muscles and wet through jeans. He promised to call me for a third date but that was 2002 and I’m still waiting.

Oh that second paragraph 🤣🤣. I wonder if he’ll call you.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 14/10/2025 22:32

Dontsayyouloveme · 14/10/2025 22:11

i can cat-egorically say I wouldn’t think to let a cat in anyone’s house without checking with the owner if they wanted me to first. I find it a little bizarre tbh

I think it’s the sort of thing that you could end up doing automatically with very little conscious thought about it if you were used to living with a cat in a property with no cat flap. Our brains automate things for us, all the little things you have to remember to do while driving being a good example. If you were at any point used to letting a cat in, it might well be something that you just did without thinking. You’d know you’d done it (probably) but you wouldn’t think to check if you should, or mention it to anyone afterwards, because your conscious brain hadn’t been involved in the decision to do it.

Achewyhamster · 14/10/2025 22:30

My sister in law

Both her and my brother where early 20's when they met in a pub and had a few dates before she stayed the night (both lived with their parents)

God knows if it was a bug or food poisoning but they where laid in his bed when her stomach cramped

She couldn't stop the liquid that came out-all over herself,him and the bedsheets

I saw the poor thing doing the walk of shame down the stairs (id never met her until then) while clutching the stained bedsheets and she had to ask my mother if she could use the washer and the shower (first time she'd met my mother)

They've been together almost 20 years-married for 14 and have a teenager