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AIBU?

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To be upset my mum said this

57 replies

hallofgory · 14/10/2025 18:47

I was abandoned by my mum aged two and sent to live with my dad, the only explanation I got was she was young and couldn’t cope.
My dad and step mum were really nice but obviously didn’t have anything nice to say about her but I still saw her once a week.
She is married now and they have 3 other children that she suddenly could cope with and I thought we had a good relationship all things considered but she revealed I wasn’t brought up to have any respect for her so she has always distanced herself, stating she has 3 other children who respect her so she’s focusing on that. They are much younger than me.
How am I supposed to take this?

OP posts:
Tryingatleast · 14/10/2025 18:55

Ah op, it sounds like she never grew up really, you were ‘too much’ for her because she was young, the others came when she was older. I’d say that just came out but it does sound like she’s not very mature. It’s awful but I’d just shrug and nod and get on with life xxxx

lauraloulou1 · 14/10/2025 18:54

Thats her own guilt OP. Get some therapy for her and you. She doesnt get to say stuff like that.

B0D · 14/10/2025 18:53

Wow that’s quite brutal. I’m sorry you had to experience that from your mum on top of her abandonment. She has a staggering lack of insight considering she was the trigger for the lack of respect you were given. That doesn’t make your dad and step mums approach right though.

Terrribletwos · 14/10/2025 18:53

@hallofgory you say you saw your mum once a week, how did that go?

ninjahamster · 14/10/2025 18:50

That’s unfair of her to say that to you. Aside from anything, you are not going to have the same level of respect for her as the others due to her abandoning you.
I think deep down she knows she’s done wrong and this is an avoidance mechanism.

cleo333 · 14/10/2025 18:49

That’s v sad . Have you talked to your dad about it , consider therapy ?

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 14/10/2025 18:49

I would wonder what her definition of respect is, and wonder what she thinks she has done to earn said respect. She probably means that her DC do what she tells them.

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