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Original poster

To be sick of pretentious use of “said”

135 replies

Driftingawaynow · 14/10/2025 15:17

Increasingly I notice people using the word “said” where “the” would do fine.

for example:

asked my husband to take out the washing, he left said washing in the dryer.

it’s really bizarrely irritating

OP posts:
B1anche · 16/10/2025 12:56

StinkyCheeseMoose · 16/10/2025 12:54

I love "batshit" I've used it a few times in real life and it works well.

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Yes, "batshit" is one of the few MN expressions I like too.

StinkyCheeseMoose · 16/10/2025 12:54

Calliopespa · 16/10/2025 12:45

Worst MN expression has to be "batshit."

I love "batshit" I've used it a few times in real life and it works well.

StinkyCheeseMoose · 16/10/2025 12:53

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 11:58

'Offense' is a hanging offence.

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It depends where you live or work. If convicted, I will appeal on the grounds I worked in the US for a number of years in a law-based occupation and old habits die hard. Hopefully, the appeal judge will show me some mercy.

I agree that use of Americanisms can be irritating, but maybe not hanging offences (I have mended my wicked ways). I think a life sentence with a minimum term of 50 years would be punishment enough.

Calliopespa · 16/10/2025 12:45

Worst MN expression has to be "batshit."

Calliopespa · 16/10/2025 12:45

Biskieboo · 14/10/2025 19:34

A MN-specific one that grinds my gears is 'beyond'. It seems that for some contributors nothing can be a bit cheeky or inappropriate or unprofessional, or even cheeky or inappropriate or unprofessional to a moderate-but-not-particularly-remarkable degree, rather it has to be 'beyond' cheeky etc. Just calm down a bit.

Actually I don't like "grinds my gears." (Sorry!😬)

Calliopespa · 16/10/2025 12:42

B1anche · 16/10/2025 08:12

People who say "myself" in instead of "me". I see people do it all the time when I'm reviewing their work.

"Dear X Further to your meeting with Blanche and myself..." No! "...with me and Blanche"!

They are normally trying to sound formal so I try to be forgiving. It's awful though.

"Reader" I cannot stand. Didn't like it in Jane Eyre, loathe it even more elsewhere. It makes the writing horribly self-conscious.

Calliopespa · 16/10/2025 12:39

Wadadli · 14/10/2025 18:04

Agree. “Methinks” gives me a sphincter spasm

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I've only ever heard this used light-heartedly. Nothing wrong in that?

Gotten is frightful.

GreyCarpet · 16/10/2025 12:38

logplant · 16/10/2025 08:40

With all that intelligence you should be able to flex your choice of words so that you communicate effectively with your mother if that is your intention.

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Firstly, I'm not a teenager anymore.

Secondly, I had no idea she wouldn't understand perfectly normal words until she said so.

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 12:37

Nestingbirds · 16/10/2025 05:41

I long for the point in my life when I am so carefree I have the capacity for this elite level of said nit picking - genuinely.

You do have the capacity. As has been demonstrated.

Trallers · 16/10/2025 12:36

GreyCarpet · 16/10/2025 07:06

I've read peope containing about it before on similar threads.

It's a pastiche of the last line of Jane Eyre - Reader, I married him.

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I obviously don't have my ear to the ground when it comes to the complaints of mumsnetters! And I didn't know that about Jane Eyre, thank you for the explanation. I wonder if most who use it have read Jane Eyre or are just copying other posters (I suspect the latter).

augustusglupe · 16/10/2025 12:31

If I never hear Iconic & Powerful again it’ll be too soon 🙄

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 12:29

RoseAndGeranium · 14/10/2025 19:32

Also, everyone on social media needs to stop using the word ‘ilk’ in weirdly aggressive and accusatory ways. ‘The country is going down the pan because of you and your ilk!’ ‘You and your ilk make vulnerable people’s lives a misery!’ ‘You and your ilk WOULD say that!’ It’s awful.

I don't know about social media but that looks as if they mean to use it to be dismissive or to convey contempt. So why would they stop?

TheAmusedQuail · 16/10/2025 12:27

1457bloom · 16/10/2025 07:37

Using the word said in this way is just common.

Definitely.

And using 'I' instead of 'me'. 'James and I at the Arena.' NO! It's 'James and me.'

How to say you're ignorant without saying it.

Jujujudo · 16/10/2025 12:27

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 11:33

I'm irritated constantly by certain words or phrases but 'super' isn't one of them. Don't get me started on 'uber' though. Or 'faux'. Bah! And I agree about your final irritant.

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Uber is just a pretentious super really 🩷

TheAmusedQuail · 16/10/2025 12:25

CurlewKate · 14/10/2025 15:20

Eh? It’s been a usage for ages. Can be useful. Not pretentious at all.

It really is pretentious. And frequently it isn't even used correctly.

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 12:24

KimberleyClark · 16/10/2025 03:59

I’m really irritated by “excited for” instead of “excited about”. “I’m really excited for the new series of Strictly” It is technically correct usage of the word “for” but feels like it shouldn’t be.

They're two different meanings. Shades of meaning abound. 'Irritated for'? You wouldn't say that's correct in the context of a phrase about being irritated by the use of words.

TheBucketFamily · 16/10/2025 12:17

B1anche · 16/10/2025 08:12

People who say "myself" in instead of "me". I see people do it all the time when I'm reviewing their work.

"Dear X Further to your meeting with Blanche and myself..." No! "...with me and Blanche"!

I agree! The misuse of "myself" used to really irritate me in the weekly school staff meetings I used to attend when I was working in school admin.
I was often astonished by the lack of basic literacy skills of many of the teachers (such as the erroneous use of apostrophes), evidenced in internal emails. They all had university degrees and teaching qualifications (whereas I had neither).

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 12:07

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 16/10/2025 00:51

I get very irritated by people who answer with “absolutely “ each time they answer a question. What is wrong with “yes”?

Edited

'Totally'. Even worse is '(a) hundred per cent'.

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 11:58

StinkyCheeseMoose · 14/10/2025 19:08

asked my husband to take out the washing, he left said washing in the dryer.

I suppose the intention is to make it clear that the washing he left in the dryer is the same washing they asked him to take out. It's a bit unnecessary, though because it's unlikely that anyone is going to think they are talking about two different loads of washing.

It's unnecessary and a bit annoying, but hardly a hanging offense, unlike when people are talking about something someone else said and they say

Quote, unquote "He didn't take the said washing out"

instead of:

Quote "He didn't take the said washing out" Unquote.

That is a hanging offense...

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'Offense' is a hanging offence.

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 11:56

DappledThings · 14/10/2025 18:01

It's just a turn of phrase to emphasise it is the same thing you are talking about that you were already talking about. It's not pretentious

I see it as a small verbal flourish probably used to add drama or colour to a spoken narrative or it might have been picked up from others and repeated without conscious intent.

StinkyCheeseMoose · 16/10/2025 11:53

LavenderBlue19 · 16/10/2025 11:28

Yes, it's completely normal. I wouldn't say I use it regularly, but in specific circumstances it's exactly the right thing to say.

I'm not pompous and I think Jacob Rees Mogg is a pseudo-posh cunt.

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Others can decide for themselves if Jacob Rees Mogg is "pompous" and/or a "cunt", but I don't think his "poshness" is "pseudo".

Most "posh" people nowadays tone their accent down, so those that don't - like JRM - can seem a bit "unreal". I think presenting as his authentic self instead of dropping his aitches and pretending he's working class is quite refreshing.

StinkyCheeseMoose · 16/10/2025 11:40

B1anche · 16/10/2025 08:12

People who say "myself" in instead of "me". I see people do it all the time when I'm reviewing their work.

"Dear X Further to your meeting with Blanche and myself..." No! "...with me and Blanche"!

People who say "myself" in instead of "me". I see people do it all the time when I'm reviewing their work.

"Dear X Further to your meeting with Blanche and myself..." No! "...with me and Blanche"!

I was with you until "me and Blanche", it should be "Blanche and me". The other person goes first.

I agree with you about the annoying misuse of reflexive pronouns though.

People who mistakenly believe adding "self" or "selves" unnecessarily makes them sound more "correct" or "polite" can be quite irritating. It seems to be quite a common thing with estate agents and other sales people.

Unfortunately reflexive pronouns are so commonly abused that they might eventually become "common usage" and therefore acceptable. 😢

Abitofalark · 16/10/2025 11:33

Jujujudo · 14/10/2025 15:26

I’m irritated by the word “super”. It was super simple! Or I’m super busy! I don’t know why but it irritates me. I’m also starting to get annoyed with “gotten”. Maybe I’m menopausal..

I'm irritated constantly by certain words or phrases but 'super' isn't one of them. Don't get me started on 'uber' though. Or 'faux'. Bah! And I agree about your final irritant.

LavenderBlue19 · 16/10/2025 11:28

Lurkingandlearning · 16/10/2025 06:38

Every time I see said used in that way I think of a dated court room drama and a pompous wig wearing wanker.

Do people really say it in conversation?

Yes, it's completely normal. I wouldn't say I use it regularly, but in specific circumstances it's exactly the right thing to say.

I'm not pompous and I think Jacob Rees Mogg is a pseudo-posh cunt.

StinkyCheeseMoose · 16/10/2025 11:21

XWKD · 16/10/2025 04:59

If that's a hanging offence, people who say "Quote unquote" before a quote should be peeled and salted.

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"Quote unquote" before a quote is the most heinous hanging offense, but let's peel and salt them in advance of their hanging. It will be a useful warning to future "Quote unquote" offenders.

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