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Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

458 replies

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:45

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

OP posts:
SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 17:31

Yoyotux · 14/10/2025 17:27

You have a solo long train trip
and you’re going to spend it feverishly tapping dozens and dozens of posts about how not guilty you are feeling about this incident.

Read a book! Do some work! Call a friend!

I’ve been on the go and working since 5am, if I want to spend some time on MN navel gazing about this incident on a boring train ride then I will! If you don’t want to engage, then off you trot!

And by the way, I wouldn’t call a friend on a train, that’s just plain rude 😂

OP posts:
MikeRafone · 14/10/2025 17:31

I think im allergic to your perfume

TwinklyStork · 14/10/2025 17:31

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 17:27

Well I don’t know what you mean by jumping the shark, but yes, entirely factual. Table was cutting into her stomach and that was resting on the table and her breasts were resting on top of that and extending out further, all over hanging over the table.

Of course they were.
Perhaps your grasp of human anatomy and biology could use some brushing up?

Cornishclio · 14/10/2025 17:30

I think if a smelly fat person challenged me I would tell the truth. I would have said I don’t have an issue with your size but your BO is making me feel sick then walk away. Anyone has a right to sit on the train but in the interests of common courtesy at least shower and change your clothes so the smell of BO is not overpowering. That applies to people who aren’t fat too.

Futurept · 14/10/2025 17:29

None of her business where you're going, what an entitled woman 😂 you are fine OP.

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 17:29

madeofmore · 14/10/2025 17:23

Or just not verbally attack other passengers on a train? It's a pretty horrible experience being shouted at like that.

It really was a very unpleasant experience, many people turned to stare at me. And as I walked away, all I was initially thinking was I have obviously really upset this person. But getting over the shock and embarrassment, I’m actually just a bit pissed off that someone spoke to me in that way.

OP posts:
basicfitgoforit · 14/10/2025 17:29

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:53

Yes, you’re all right, I should have just said the smell was getting to me, I suppose I didn’t want to antagonise her further or seem like a worse person to the people around me. I’m sure, if they couldn’t smell her, they thought I was a horribly judgemental cow.
Are people nose blind to their own BO? Do some people just not realise they stink? Even the panting on me and dribbling I would have been totally mortified doing that in front of someone.

I don't normally have BO at all, and wear a lovely deoderant. However. When i am uber, uber stressed to the point of some kind of animal panic response I start to smell terrible - a really weird strong BO type smell - it has happened to me twice, both to do with the person I was seeing, and even if a brief encounter it then lasts all day. I have noticed the same thing on other people, eg someone new working at a supermarket on a till and getting grief. And no at the time the person who smells can't smell it - both times I have suspected by the reaction of the people around me and then when I got home and took off my top in the bathroom, left the bathroom and walked back in I could smell it. I was mortified! Not related to size I am size 12 now and was size 10 when it last happened. Now if i suspect it will happen i take a change of top, wipes and deoderant with me.

I can't believe i am writing all this. I hope no one recognises me!

If she was anxious as well as overweight, and just getting on a train was terrifying for her, that might explain it.

But you shouldn't feel bad about your decision to move either. I would have just said loudly, clearly and kindly, "No it is nothing to do with your weight, I promise" (as that would be true) and given a reassuring smile which she would remember when she thought back and felt bad about her outburst.

Yoyotux · 14/10/2025 17:29

I bet you were crafting your OP as soon as she sat next to you 🤭

Didimum · 14/10/2025 17:28

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 17:23

Because it goes to show that weight related issues were not the reason I was moving, I was pretty okay with breast and stomach being on the table, the reason I was moving was the smell. Therefore I am not a body shaming bitch as accused.

Must I say this same point many more times?

If they are not relevant to why you moved then why are they relevant to the story? You don’t prove you’re not body-shaming by doubling down on shaming descriptions.

If the smell was the issue, then let the smell be the issue – leave her body out of it. If her accusation is the issue, then let her false accusation be the issue – leave her body out of it.

Rumpledandcrumpled · 14/10/2025 17:28

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 17:27

Well I don’t know what you mean by jumping the shark, but yes, entirely factual. Table was cutting into her stomach and that was resting on the table and her breasts were resting on top of that and extending out further, all over hanging over the table.

And she was also dribbling, panting, spraying water and smelling bad

righto.

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 17:27

TwinklyStork · 14/10/2025 17:23

Really?
Her stomach was on the table and her breasts flopped all the way over the front of it or down the side of it to also be touching the table?

Jumped the shark a bit there, didn’t you.

Well I don’t know what you mean by jumping the shark, but yes, entirely factual. Table was cutting into her stomach and that was resting on the table and her breasts were resting on top of that and extending out further, all over hanging over the table.

OP posts:
Yoyotux · 14/10/2025 17:27

You have a solo long train trip
and you’re going to spend it feverishly tapping dozens and dozens of posts about how not guilty you are feeling about this incident.

Read a book! Do some work! Call a friend!

Redpeach · 14/10/2025 17:27

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 17:24

Nah, just run out of patience

😂😂😂

Run out of time because you're busy with big spreadsheets

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 17:25

Redpeach · 14/10/2025 17:21

You can generally choose where u sit when you book

Yes, on most routes… and I choose to sit at a table, as many many other people do!

OP posts:
Kattley · 14/10/2025 17:24

sidebirds · 14/10/2025 17:19

Bizarre thread! OP came on feeling upset after being verbally abused by a stranger and needlessly finds herself the subject of further vituperation 🤯. Body odour woman clearly has a chip on her shoulder (in addition to the various bags of chips she may be downing as we speak 🍟).

Because the language used is fat phobic as is yours. You do know that health problems contribute towards obesity?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 14/10/2025 17:24

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:45

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

I think I would have been very annoyed at having been put in that position, and spoen to like that, when you were just trying to move discreetly. I think I would have been tempted to say in a loud voice as I was walking off, "I have nothing against obese people whatsoever. It's smelly people I have an issue with."

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 17:24

Didimum · 14/10/2025 17:15

Ah, emojis. The tell tale response for someone that has run out of excuses.

Nah, just run out of patience

😂😂😂

OP posts:
madeofmore · 14/10/2025 17:23

HmmOdd · 14/10/2025 17:07

Hopefully that lady will think twice and starting eating more DSalad

/s

Or just not verbally attack other passengers on a train? It's a pretty horrible experience being shouted at like that.

TwinklyStork · 14/10/2025 17:23

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 17:12

They are not embellishments, completely factual, both stomach and breasts were on the table.

Really?
Her stomach was on the table and her breasts flopped all the way over the front of it or down the side of it to also be touching the table?

Jumped the shark a bit there, didn’t you.

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 17:23

Didimum · 14/10/2025 17:14

'Embellishments' doesn't mean not factual, it means they are unnecessary. How are these embellishments necessary to why you moved seats?

Because it goes to show that weight related issues were not the reason I was moving, I was pretty okay with breast and stomach being on the table, the reason I was moving was the smell. Therefore I am not a body shaming bitch as accused.

Must I say this same point many more times?

OP posts:
AbbeyGrange · 14/10/2025 17:23

Redpeach · 14/10/2025 17:22

Says the one swearing

So?

Redpeach · 14/10/2025 17:22

AbbeyGrange · 14/10/2025 16:40

You're the one who told the OP had she had a cheek to sit on the train with a table, I mean how very dare she, like I say some people love a fucking argument....

Says the one swearing

Redpeach · 14/10/2025 17:21

Topseyt123 · 14/10/2025 17:16

I'll sit at a table with four seats if I want to and I usually travel alone. They aren't particularly for families and groups travelling together. If I've booked a seat then I am sometimes put there anyway.

First come, first served.

You can generally choose where u sit when you book

MellowPinkDeer · 14/10/2025 17:19

You did the right thing @SoberOctober2025you can sit wherever you like and I would have moved too. You did not need to justify yourself to her whatsoever. I probably would have just ignored her tbh!

Lazygardener · 14/10/2025 17:19

If it ever happens again, just say ‘your perfume is setting off my allergies’.

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