Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

458 replies

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:45

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

OP posts:
CopperWhite · 14/10/2025 20:39

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 20:16

Well exactly… if it was an alcoholic, would I have been attacked for saying they were huffing and puffing, sprawled on the table, dribbling? Why am I being attacked and questioned for saying it was an obese person? Are obese people in some other category we are not allowed to refer to for some reason? I didn’t get the memo

It only needed a large man for the responses you’ve received to have been entirely different.

This is one of those threads where people would need to declare their own interests before their judgements can be given any real credit. I suspect that people who are unhappy with their own weight saw more to be offended about from your post than those who are not.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 14/10/2025 20:38

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 17:47

Yes, this morning! And yesterday when i booked my tickets, i was able to choose seats with tables for 2 of 3 legs of both ways of my return journey. I chose to sit at a table on the 1st leg because 1) it was free, 2) it’s more comfortable, 3) essential work done for the day but had the table as an option if i needed to whip out the laptop and deal with something that came through that I couldn’t deal with on my phone, 4) it has plug sockets for my phone.

You’re really pissed off at my audacity in choosing to sit at an empty table 😂😂😂

Red Peach has an utter obsession with tables. Just ignore the table police

k1233 · 14/10/2025 20:38

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:57

The next stop was 45mins from the one we got on at so she’d have known that wasn’t true unfortunately.

The train honestly wasn’t that busy. There are some seats where it’s just 2 seats and no table, I rushed out of the carriage so quickly that I didn’t take notice if there were many of those available though.

If you didn't want to mention the odour, just say a friend has text me from another carriage so I'm going to see them.

I remember being stuck on a bus years ago, in the window seat next to a guy who smelled like a dead animal. It was a bus where the windows didn't open and it was rank.

Didimum · 14/10/2025 20:37

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 20:16

Well exactly… if it was an alcoholic, would I have been attacked for saying they were huffing and puffing, sprawled on the table, dribbling? Why am I being attacked and questioned for saying it was an obese person? Are obese people in some other category we are not allowed to refer to for some reason? I didn’t get the memo

But you (apparently) didn’t move because of her behaviour, so why do you keep grotesquely bringing it up?

Yoyotux · 14/10/2025 20:36

Perhaps she’s on mounjaro and had already lost 25% of her body weight

that might explain the smell too if she had some of 🤢 side effects!

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 14/10/2025 20:36

madeofmore · 14/10/2025 17:40

Let's be honest here. If you were called a bitch by a total stranger for no reason do you really know how you would react or if you would say anything back? Some of you are just looking for a fight on here and OP has had enough for one day. Being verbally attacked is awful and wanting some support afterwards when you're sat alone on a train is perfectly ok too.

And you know what, it's even fine to sit at a table

ItstheHRTpat · 14/10/2025 20:32

The reason you moved or if you smiled at her are not what make you a fat shaming bitch. Your descriptions of a fat person are what highlight that fact about you. Also you disregarded her health issues as 'just weight related'

Beachtastic · 14/10/2025 20:31

How DARE you start a thread about this, OP. It was ME!!!!!!! and I saw your smug face as you walked away. Never mind your silly spritz of "perfume."

😡🤬👿

Just kidding!!!

Not your fault that you found yourself sitting opposite Yoda on day release. Hopefully she is now back in her padded cell for the night.

None of her business where you sit. Fuck her.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 14/10/2025 20:28

Kattley · 14/10/2025 17:24

Because the language used is fat phobic as is yours. You do know that health problems contribute towards obesity?

(and obesity contributes to health problems)

opencecilgee · 14/10/2025 20:28

Always go airline and i the aisle seat

all train commuters do this

EnjoyingTheArmoire · 14/10/2025 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

"Morbidly obese people are pretty gross let's be honest.

They're so touchy about it too."

Fat shaming is alive and well on MN in 2025

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 20:16

Yoyotux · 14/10/2025 20:13

What about an alcoholic? Who has a problem with booze?

Well exactly… if it was an alcoholic, would I have been attacked for saying they were huffing and puffing, sprawled on the table, dribbling? Why am I being attacked and questioned for saying it was an obese person? Are obese people in some other category we are not allowed to refer to for some reason? I didn’t get the memo

OP posts:
Yoyotux · 14/10/2025 20:13

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 20:10

Ya, I really don’t get the defensiveness and attacking going on in this thread. I had been totally factual. If it was a drug user that came huffing and puffing, splurting water, taking up more space that average and expected and smelled of shit… I doubt anyone would be saying ‘that’s awful, it’s an addiction, you don’t know why they’re a drug user, you’re so judgemental’ 🙄

What about an alcoholic? Who has a problem with booze?

Yerroblemom1923 · 14/10/2025 20:12

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 16:11

It was bad @GasPaniclike really terrible BO, but also a very strong smell of poo. I couldn’t have stayed where I was.

Why do some fat people smell? I'm a size 12/14 so not a skinny Minnie by any means and am so conscious of keeping squeaky clean because of the stigma. Just want to know why? They must know they do! I know when I forget my antiperspirant!

Yoyotux · 14/10/2025 20:11

I wish I had the balls for that, but I’m definitely not that confrontational!

Try channeling some of the confrontational balls you’ve freely displayed on this thread in RL OP!

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 20:11

Mrsbunnychops · 14/10/2025 19:06

Sounds like there was more to this story than you are letting on!!

How do you think there’s more to the story? What exactly do you believe I am not telling here?

OP posts:
SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 20:10

GentleJadeOP · 14/10/2025 19:04

I’ve noticed whenever there are any ‘fat’ discussions on MN that people get very defensive and there will always be the odd one or two that take offence and defend the person the post is about. I would definitely have moved seats, and maybe felt bad doing it, but……the woman clearly has a severe obesity problem and must realise she was being anti social in her behaviour and hopefully may have made today the day she does something about her health

Ya, I really don’t get the defensiveness and attacking going on in this thread. I had been totally factual. If it was a drug user that came huffing and puffing, splurting water, taking up more space that average and expected and smelled of shit… I doubt anyone would be saying ‘that’s awful, it’s an addiction, you don’t know why they’re a drug user, you’re so judgemental’ 🙄

OP posts:
SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 20:07

QueenClinomania · 14/10/2025 18:59

Best thing to have said would be oh its not personal. I hate everyone.

Excellent 👏

OP posts:
SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 20:07

Anyahyacinth · 14/10/2025 18:33

Of course they could move but without the ostentatious perfume spraying etc..meant to demean and certainly not helpful to someone who needs inhalers. Its the ableist audacity that's objectionable. The way the OP drafted her post makes it clear how judgemental she is...as SO many other posters have said

There was nothing ostentatious about the small, discreet spritz of perfume on the inside of my collar. And I’m not ableist in the slightest. I am however, very judgemental about people who board a train smelling like BO and poo.

OP posts:
Personperson · 14/10/2025 20:06

I'm fat, like obese (lost 3 stone so far) but I never ever smell. I have impeccable hygiene and I cannot tolerate or abide bad B.O. I have sensory issues due to ADHD and it makes me heave. Same for over powering sprays.

She clearly doesn't clean herself and you had every right to move. I would have as well.

Would she say I was against fat people too?

AntiHop · 14/10/2025 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 20:04

Butchyrestingface · 14/10/2025 18:29

Cor, never mind fattie. Those look like well-fancy train tables. Whereabouts in the country are you? And are you in 1st class? I didn't think they let anyone over 10 stone 5 in there.

Haha, it’s just a standard train, one of the newer ones to be fair. It’s an Irish train. Some of the more rural ones leave a lot to be desired!

OP posts:
Pebbles16 · 14/10/2025 20:03

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 15:32

Oh for crying out loud, do you know how difficult it is to work across multiple spreadsheets with a laptop in your lap, or the tiny table at the back of another seat? I also always have a notebook to hand and my phone needs to be plugged in. A table is far more comfortable and I have every right, as a paying passenger to sit where I like in a train with unallocated seating.

Admittedly late to the party but I am SO CONFUSED that a single person isn't permitted (under MN rules) to sit at a four table. In the middle of the day on a working day etc...
Exhausted by these new social rules (that don't exist and are just there to put the boot into the OP).

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yes, dribbling on the table. This woman was so out of breath she couldn’t get the water into her. But if you think I’m some weirdo with nothing else to do then just jog on and don’t engage 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 20:01

TwinklyStork · 14/10/2025 18:16

I don’t either, but the way she did it with such glee - with all the huffing and puffing and dribbling her water and her tits touching the table - was really unpleasant and unnecessary.

Trust me, there was no glee involved. Factual recount of the situation and probably some shock.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread