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Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

458 replies

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:45

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

OP posts:
themerchentofvenus · 14/10/2025 14:53

@SoberOctober2025 sounds more like she was fat shaming herself.

I can be a little outspoken and take offence to being wrongly accused, so I would have said "actually, the reason I am moving is because you smelly sweaty and rather unpleasant, so I would rather not sit near you. How dare you accuse someone of body shaming someone which I clearly wasn't".

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:53

Yes, you’re all right, I should have just said the smell was getting to me, I suppose I didn’t want to antagonise her further or seem like a worse person to the people around me. I’m sure, if they couldn’t smell her, they thought I was a horribly judgemental cow.
Are people nose blind to their own BO? Do some people just not realise they stink? Even the panting on me and dribbling I would have been totally mortified doing that in front of someone.

OP posts:
AutumnCosy2025 · 14/10/2025 14:52

I would have said I was getting off at the next stop & just getting prepared.

Sitting at a table like that is an unusual choice for a large lady Were there many other options?

CrazyGoatLady · 14/10/2025 14:52

"No, I don't have an issue with fat people. Just with you. Bye!"

HmmOdd · 14/10/2025 14:50

What's the opposite of "and then everyone clapped"?

Maybe everyone ate a burger whilst looking at you disapprovingly?

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 14/10/2025 14:49

You could have just said the truth once you were walking away. From the sounds of things she was unlikely to chase you even if she did get cross.

HelloGreen · 14/10/2025 14:48

Wherethewildthings · 14/10/2025 14:47

As she had pushed it and was rude I'd have said that I'm sorry, I tried to save your feelings, but I'm finding your BO too much so I'm moving.

This. But I’d only think to say that after I’d moved away.

She was rude, not you.

Wherethewildthings · 14/10/2025 14:47

As she had pushed it and was rude I'd have said that I'm sorry, I tried to save your feelings, but I'm finding your BO too much so I'm moving.