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Original poster

Selling car and money left over

35 replies

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 14/10/2025 10:36

What is fair? Posting here for traffic.

I am separated from stbxh from October 2022.
We have a car. We owe finance on it. All In my stbxh’s name. It is a huge payment of €1222 every month which I have been paying since October 2022.

I use the car. He doesn’t. He Lives quite far away. I’ve not been able to sell it because its value was worth less than what is owed on it. The dumbest financial decision we ever made was getting the car. That isn’t under debate.

I have got the debt down to under €20k since October 2022. Just chipped away at it and it could now be worth circa €15k more than what is owed on it.

Meanwhile, he is generous with maintainence. Still a struggle for me to cover everything. I am doing ok. Surviving. I work and I pay off the car every month. I can’t afford it any more now.
.
He now wants to sell the car, pay off what is owed on it and then use what’s left to pay off some of his own debts. What debts I don’t know. He’s awful with money. None of my business anyway what debts he gets into anymore.

It’s me that has been paying off the car for nearly three years since we split albeit with some of the maintenance money and some of my earnings.

He says because he’s generous with maintenance that in effect it’s his money that’s been paying off the car. It’s not all from maintenance money at all.

Is it fair he takes all the money that’s left over once the car is paid off?

I mean he has inexplicably spent other monies that were due to pay off other debts he’s left me with like outstanding school fees. I would like to put any money left over from the car sale towards that school fee debt so I can work towards being entirely free of the financial horror show he’s left me with. Instead he wants to wait and see what he can get away with not paying to the school. They have already reduced the debt by €5k which is incredibly gracious of them.

There was zero financial transparency in marriage. He would scream abuse at me if I ever tried to find out where huge sums of money had gone and how he managed to accrue huge debts.

What do you think? Should I just let him take the money (circa €15k - the exact amount we owe in fees!) for his own debts?

OP posts:
Original poster
SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 14/10/2025 11:05

My payments saved it from being repossessed and giving him a poor credit rating.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 14/10/2025 11:05

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 14/10/2025 10:52

I could not and would not sell something that isn’t mine. That isn’t the question. It’s all in his name but I have been paying the monthly payments. .

Show quote history

So then the money is his, what you want to do is irrelevant without his agreement.

Original poster
SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 14/10/2025 11:04

I never said it was my car. My point is that I have been using it. Also go the benefit of the kids. He’s benefitted too as he’s used it when he visits the kids. I am the only one Paying it off. And I am left with debt from school fees through no fault of my own and the money from sale of the car could pay that off. He’s liable for those too.

OP posts:
Jellybunny56 · 14/10/2025 10:58

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 14/10/2025 10:52

I could not and would not sell something that isn’t mine. That isn’t the question. It’s all in his name but I have been paying the monthly payments. .

Show quote history

I’m not sure what your point is here OP. It’s in his name, it’s his. You’ve been making the payments but you’ve also been the one using it, that doesn't make it your car though.

Original poster
SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 14/10/2025 10:56

Jellybunny56 · 14/10/2025 10:53

So what does your financial agreement say about this car then? Who’s is it, legally?

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It’s his car. His debt. In his name. But I’ve been paying off the debt.

OP posts:
Jellybunny56 · 14/10/2025 10:53

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 14/10/2025 10:51

The financial agreement is all signed. Binding.

I mean, he had been generous so far in accordance with the agreement but on the other hand, there is circa £700k that is missing from the marriage (house sale and remortgaging of rental properties). I couldn’t afford a forensic accountant to investigate these.

Show quote history

So what does your financial agreement say about this car then? Who’s is it, legally?

Original poster
SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 14/10/2025 10:52

Hoppinggreen · 14/10/2025 10:45

There is what is fair and then there is what is legal
I am assuming you are non UK so check what the situation is where you are if you sell something not belonging to you and keep the money.
Morally it would be great if you could use it for school fees but you need to make sure you can do that and not get inot any trouble

I could not and would not sell something that isn’t mine. That isn’t the question. It’s all in his name but I have been paying the monthly payments. .

OP posts:
Original poster
SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 14/10/2025 10:51

Jellybunny56 · 14/10/2025 10:44

What financial agreement was made when you divorced? That’s what matters here really. It’s in his name, so it’s not really up to you to “let” him, and you’ve been paying for it because you’ve been using it.

Depending on where you are I’d also be wary of what rocking the boat could cost you, if you say he is currently generous- what would your situation be if his generosity ended tomorrow and he started to give you only the bare minimum?

The financial agreement is all signed. Binding.

I mean, he had been generous so far in accordance with the agreement but on the other hand, there is circa £700k that is missing from the marriage (house sale and remortgaging of rental properties). I couldn’t afford a forensic accountant to investigate these.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 14/10/2025 10:45

There is what is fair and then there is what is legal
I am assuming you are non UK so check what the situation is where you are if you sell something not belonging to you and keep the money.
Morally it would be great if you could use it for school fees but you need to make sure you can do that and not get inot any trouble

Jellybunny56 · 14/10/2025 10:44

What financial agreement was made when you divorced? That’s what matters here really. It’s in his name, so it’s not really up to you to “let” him, and you’ve been paying for it because you’ve been using it.

Depending on where you are I’d also be wary of what rocking the boat could cost you, if you say he is currently generous- what would your situation be if his generosity ended tomorrow and he started to give you only the bare minimum?

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