To be fed up of the "home birth is risky" misinformation?

Yes it surprises me how many people don’t realise this. It’s the same as any other situation- if someone puts their fingers in your vagina without your permission then it is assault.

Of course they should and I declined mine. But if medically urgent then asking isn’t always practical.

Im sure that most women should be asked permission for VE though and the reason explained. That was certainly policy in my trust 11 years ago.

I didn't have a single VE during my four home births. I don't disagree, but they do have their place. Normally that should include information to the woman about why they think it's necessary and consent given.

They can also introduce infection.

And like everything in life, they are a choice. But if a woman is coerced into having one (like many many women were during Covid, even after everything else had opened up and essentially gone back to normal) then it is a form of assault. And it may have been a 3 years since they have done this, but it’s all part of a culture within in the maternity services that has existed for a long time.

I think certain women do feel pressure to ‘home birth’ as a package of natural parenting options otherwise why would women choose (as in the papers) to ignore risks and see it as a positive option.

Apologies though as it wasn’t you that linked it along with all the other natural approaches (it was kipperbang) but I do see that a lot.

I just wish new mums realise that it’s not an all or nothing approach and the hospital experience can feel quite natural too. I felt like I had a tribe of women with my and my baby’s best interests at heart along with my wish to go as natural as possible.

Think about what you’re saying, when you’re not given a choice about someone putting their fingers in your vagina? Of course it is assault. That is the law… and common sense.

VEs can also detect face presentations, undiagnosed breech presentations, cord prolapse, a cervical lip if there is doubt. Even they have their place.

It’s not bloody assault

It IS bad when you aren’t given a choice, it’s actually a form of assault. I’m sorry that you can’t see that.

I think the grouping of these things and the ‘trend’ towards these things being so important within certain groups are the reason I’m on here ‘arguing’ back.

Im really really concerned that in some groups there is an all or nothing approach to these things. In the case of the woman in the news goodness knows why she made the choices she did but I bet she was influenced by/ inspired by people doing it all ‘naturally’.

I would really love to champion the fact that you can take the best of these practices and also the best advice too for safety and medical support. That’s our absolute privilege.

For eg -

I had a hospitalised as natural as possible birth with a detailed birth plan that after each request had ‘unless you feel there is a medical risk to the baby’.

The midwife’s discussed each step with me and my honest opinion was that they enabled me to have a safe VB even though my baby was back to back and in quite an odd position delivering. I had midwife’s coming congratulating me on it afterwards. I would have been transferred much earlier if at home but probably disrupting labour and ending up with a section. The room felt calm and chilled for most of labour and the delivery with my husband fully involved holding a leg and my midwife’s cheering me on while helping position the baby out (not turning) was one of my most amazing memories.

I had my kids in a next to me for the first 6 months and then coslept from 6 months to 9years and 6years and didn’t use cry it out.

I breast fed for 2.5 years and 4 years but not fully exclusively and they had bottles to top up here and there over the first 6 months and then if they wanted when I returned to work.

We baby wore a lot, sat in the back when baby was in car, did naps mostly on us, baby led weaning, etc etc.

I didn’t quite feel like I had a ‘tribe’ with my second (I did with my first) as I felt that the tribe I may have had were all or nothing and in my opinion ignoring risks in the name of being a ‘natural mum’.

I would never have a home birth. I know too many stories of PP haemorrhage which no one knows are going to happen. I am wary of the theme of it being part of ‘being a good mum’ which sorry Op but your latest update shows that’s how you do see it and do promote it.

Aren’t you a good mum!
is that what it is about?

It’s a very UK thing NOT to consider VE during birth not necessary 🙄
(also apparently nordics and NZ)
in the rest of the world it’s routine monitoring practice and they would consider it negligence if they weren’t done

so it’s not the gotcha doctors are bad moment you think it is

No one has suggested for a second that they are.

That isnt the point of the OP. Her point was that there is so much misinformation and fearmongering out there (ok, I added the bit about fearmongering but this thread has proved that bit) that some women for whom home birth would be a valid and safe choice are not even considering it as an option.

"But what if something goes wrong!" is the standard argument trotted out against home birth and just proves the lack of education of those saying it. They assume that a home birth is the same as a hospital birth just....at home.

It isnt. The protocols, the care, the risk assessments are completely different. Thats why I said earlier that saying "my child would have died if I hadnt been in hospital" is an unproveable point in many cases.

I am sure you are right. But as I know you know, that is not the point I was making.

If I hadn't been in hospital when I had DS1 I wouldn't be alive now.

Home births are not safe for everyone.

You haven't had reason to lose trust. My midwife told me that as soon as x was needed she wouldn't hestitate to... Guess what she didn't do? I trust no-one to do the right thing in birth care now.

Well, you still aren't doing it right, because the earlier stuff is good, but you didn't home school. Dropped the ball when he was 5. ;-) (tongue in cheek)

My midwife said that, in her experience, labour tends to stall during transfers.

Why is it unlikely that you would be in the process of giving birth in an emergency?