Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or am I being a parcel stealing, curtain twitching busybody?

344 replies

TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 08:29

Name change.

A video has been posted on a local facebook group that looks like I have stolen parcels. The person who posted it said "what is the world coming to when the local druggy nicks your child's bedtime story books". I'm scared this will get back to my employer. I work for the civil service so if they dont get the full story, I will be sacked. I will tell my boss when she gets in. She wont find it funny and I'm humiliated. I dont take drugs but I did stumble in the video and I have a cold so was wiping my nose a lot which looks bad.

My husband thinks I was niave and shouldnt have got involved. I have the parcels but will I be liable for them if I put them back where I found them because they will get nicked? I dont really want to speak with the person as they are obviously looking for trouble.

I've already commented on the video and have asked admin the take it down.

Our Evri and Amazon driver has started leaving parcels on our doorsteps which are directly on the street. Obviously they arent there when we get home.

I walked past a neighbour's house yesterday. It is a few houses down but I dont know them. They had parcels leaning against their house (directly on the street/pavement). I thought I was being nice. I wish someone had taken in the ebay parcel I had stolen the other day because the item in that was irreplaceable. So I thoight I was being a good neighbour.

The video shows me look at the parcels as I walk past, then come back a few minutes later, pick them up and walk off with them. What actually happened was that I walk past, come back with a note, post it through the door and then walk away with the parcels. I didnt realise there was a camera or I would have made a big drama of posting the note. You can see the door on the video but because of how Im standing you can see Im doing sonething but not that I posted a letter through. The note was an A4 sheet of pink lined paper ripped from a book and folded in half so they would have seen it.

The note said that their parcels were left on the doorstep so Ive taken them in, my house number and that someone will be in for the rest of the day and today.

I dont know what to do with the parcels. I dont want to speak with this person but if I put them back they'll get stolen.

I'm humiliated. I wont do it again.

My husbabd thinks I was interfearing in sonething that didnt concern me and basically asked for trouble. I thought I was just being nice and doing what I wish other people did.

YABU - you should have left the parcels alone
YANBU - you were trying to be neighbourly

OP posts:
MuffinCCHeeler · 14/10/2025 12:46

Hey OP, you sound like a kind neighbour. Sorry this has happened to you. You never know, your note may have been eaten by a dog which is why they didn’t see it. I hope they collect or you manage to deliver the parcels soon so you can stop worrying about this.

As others have said, there is no need to Involve your boss.

I think this is a lesson learned for the future. I would only bother doing this for my direct neighbours or people I’ve actually met and introduced myself to.

Maybe if there is someone elderly or vulnerable close by you can help but from the majority of the replies on here, it seems it is best to not bother next time.

CinnamonBuns67 · 14/10/2025 12:45

Yanbu you did it with good intentions. I'd comment on FB post "Hi I'm the person who took the parcel off your doorstep as they was left there by delivery driver and I didn't want them to be stolen or damaged so thought I'd be a good neighbour and keep them safe for you to collect as per the note I put through your letterbox. I won't be doing that for you in the future. I'll be putting your parcel in your recycling bin at my earliest convenience and taking a timestamped photograph as proof and posting that photograph here"

BrickBiscuit · 14/10/2025 12:40

ConvenientLie · 14/10/2025 12:17

“I won’t be doing you any more favours, come and get your parcels”
Seriously? It’s not a favour if it wasn’t asked for. How about instead of making more work for the poor person, OP just returns the parcel to where she took them from?

As someone not from the UK, the many posts about neighbours taking in parcels baffles me - it’s not the done thing where I’m from. Friends/family have asked me to collect their parcels and they’ve done the same for me - it would actually annoy me greatly if someone with no business being on my property decided to take the initiative and hijack my parcels, potentially ruining arrangements I’d made with others.

Until a few years ago, it was routine for UK deliveries to be made to a neighbour if the recipient was out (unless the company retained them for redelivery or return). They would post a note through saying which number. Then ‘safe place’ was introduced, again with a note and often only with prior arrangement. Things have deteriorated. First it was no notes. Then it was 'safe place’ without permission. Now deliveries are left out in the open in all weathers, sometimes at the wrong address or without a note. Not all are trackable, and some tracking systems don’t work anyway. Now, even packages that would fit through the letterbox are dumped outside in the rain.

outerspacepotato · 14/10/2025 12:37

Why would you ever take someone's packages off their porch when you don't even know them or had made prior arrangements? WTF.

Return them and apologize and don't take people's packages again.

Don't tell your boss.

samthepigeon · 14/10/2025 12:34

You did a good and neighbourly thing. People seem to be removed from community these days.
Go and buy yourself a new coat that makes you feel utterly gorgeous. It is October, and you will get months of wear from it if you get it now. Charity shops are fabulous for this, as you said.

SumUp · 14/10/2025 12:33

IamnotSethRogan · 14/10/2025 08:34

Honestly you did a nice thing but calm down.

Just comment or message the person saying exactly what you said here and ask if they got the note? Say you've had lots of packages go missing and you didn't want that to happen to them.

I di not think you'll get fired for this and there is absolutely no reason to involve your manager.

This

PuppyMonkey · 14/10/2025 12:33

I’m sorry, I know this is a serious matter for you OP but I’m laughing my head off at the thought of you falling over TWICE doing this. GrinBlush

samthepigeon · 14/10/2025 12:30

InAHammock · 14/10/2025 09:25

Which suggests they may not be at home, and are relying only on the doorbell footage which appears not to show the note being posted? That, or the note got shovelled up with the post from the doormat and overlooked.

It’s the major plot point of several 19thc novels.

Poor old Tess!

DramaQueenlady · 14/10/2025 12:29

Put a message on the video to say you took them in, in good faith and put a not through the door. Take them back wave to the camera and never do it again. Anyone who knows you will know you meant well.

Friendlygingercat · 14/10/2025 12:29

Good deeds can certainly misfire. Evri left two parcels outside my gate - not even by my door. They were for two different addresses the other side of the estate, I am mobility impaired and unable to take them or let the recipients know I had their parcels. A relative arrived 2 days later and kindly offered to drop them off on his way home. At the first address there was no reply although there was a car on the drive. He left the parcel on the step because there was no other choice. The second parcel was for a woman who moaned that he had taken 3 days to bring it around. Relative explained that it was misdelivered to his disabled aunt but she still whinged about the delay. Relative told her next time anything like this happens I will advise my aunt to bin the misdelivered packages.

FairyBatman · 14/10/2025 12:28

ConvenientLie · 14/10/2025 12:17

“I won’t be doing you any more favours, come and get your parcels”
Seriously? It’s not a favour if it wasn’t asked for. How about instead of making more work for the poor person, OP just returns the parcel to where she took them from?

As someone not from the UK, the many posts about neighbours taking in parcels baffles me - it’s not the done thing where I’m from. Friends/family have asked me to collect their parcels and they’ve done the same for me - it would actually annoy me greatly if someone with no business being on my property decided to take the initiative and hijack my parcels, potentially ruining arrangements I’d made with others.

It might not be a social norm where you come from, but until the last few years it was in the UK.

Even if you were annoyed at having to walk three doors down the street to collect your parcel, that doesn’t justify posting a video on social media of the OP and accusing her of being a druggy and a thief.

LandSharksAnonymous · 14/10/2025 12:26

Absolutely a non-story for the Civil Service - and I say that as a Civil Servant. No one is going to care.

It's not the end of the world.

Post on the page, explaining what happened - and don't offer an apologies, that makes you look guilty - and tell them they can collect the parcels from your house anytime between X and Y.

Toofficeornot · 14/10/2025 12:26

I would first go and knock on their door and explain in it's entirety. With the parcels. Don't sneak and put them back, that implies guilt.

TonTonMacoute · 14/10/2025 12:24

No good deed goes unpunished.

ClockworkGoose · 14/10/2025 12:21

Skybluepinky · 14/10/2025 10:34

Did you not leave a note, or say something to their ring doorbell?

Did you not read the first post or even just the bit where OP said they left a note?

ConvenientLie · 14/10/2025 12:17

FairyBatman · 14/10/2025 10:41

Totallly agree. I’d be annoyed at being accused not apologetic and worried.
I’d make one reply on the FB post along the lines of “We’ve had lots of issues with parcels being stolen from the street and I put a bright pink note through your door at the time to say I’d taken them in and another since then when my OH tried to bring them round. I won’t be doing you any more favours, come and get your parcels.”
Forget about the coat, the cold, tripping up etc. it’s all noise, you tried to do a favour for a neighbour and they have been dicks about it.
This is why we don’t have a sense of community any more.

“I won’t be doing you any more favours, come and get your parcels”
Seriously? It’s not a favour if it wasn’t asked for. How about instead of making more work for the poor person, OP just returns the parcel to where she took them from?

As someone not from the UK, the many posts about neighbours taking in parcels baffles me - it’s not the done thing where I’m from. Friends/family have asked me to collect their parcels and they’ve done the same for me - it would actually annoy me greatly if someone with no business being on my property decided to take the initiative and hijack my parcels, potentially ruining arrangements I’d made with others.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 14/10/2025 12:15

You pop round - don't mentioned the FB video.
"Oh hi, I'm Sandra from number 6. I took your parcels the other day as my Ebay one got nicked... I did pop a note through... anyway here's your parcel buy"

DreamOfTheRarebitFiend · 14/10/2025 12:09

@BauhausOfEliott Thank you! I'll check it out.

BauhausOfEliott · 14/10/2025 12:05

DreamOfTheRarebitFiend · 14/10/2025 11:58

Sorry, completely off topic, but which novels? I'd love to read some of them! 😁

It's a plot element of Tess Of The D'Urbervilles.

DreamOfTheRarebitFiend · 14/10/2025 11:58

InAHammock · 14/10/2025 09:25

Which suggests they may not be at home, and are relying only on the doorbell footage which appears not to show the note being posted? That, or the note got shovelled up with the post from the doormat and overlooked.

It’s the major plot point of several 19thc novels.

Sorry, completely off topic, but which novels? I'd love to read some of them! 😁

rolloverbeethoven · 14/10/2025 11:29

As mentioned on another thread I'm a cynical old baggage, but I wonder if they thought that people would be offering them freebies (especially as they made a point to mention it was children's books).

Calliopespa · 14/10/2025 11:28

LoveWine123 · 14/10/2025 08:33

If there was a note through the door why is the person thinking someone stole their parcels?

That's the confusing bit op?

AgapanthusPink · 14/10/2025 11:12

Op I think you’re getting an unfairly hard time. You tried to do a good thing and and as the the saying goes ‘no good deed goes unpunished’. I really wouldn’t be telling my boss unless someone said something and you have a totally reasonable explanation.

My view is somewhat coloured by having something similar happen to me. I ordered something from the VIP Next sale (a huge kitchen bin) and as it was in the sale it said it wouldn’t be delivered for about 4 weeks. Two weeks later I am away for a long weekend and as my plane touches down on the runway in France I get a notification that my bin has been delivered. I check my Ring doorbell to see the delivery man leaving a huge 4ft high box in front of my front door although admittedly up my driveway. I message my cat sitter to take it in but she wasn’t due until the following day.

She messages the following day to say there’s no box 🙀. I checked my Ring doorbell and there’s only the man putting the box down but nothing of anyone taking it. However I have set doorbell to only record for 10secs so if movement continues after that time it doesn’t record a new clip until there has been no further movement so it must have been taken very quickly.

Anyway it turns out it was my next door neighbour who saw him leave the bin and immediately took it in. Unfortunately he didn’t think to leave a note (he’s quite elderly) but I knocked on in case and there it was. To be fair he’s done it before with a smaller parcel and I could see him on the Ring Doorbell.

Both times I was really appreciative. Hopefully FB will take the video down.

Overthewaytwice · 14/10/2025 11:11

Oh OP, I feel really sorry for you Flowers

It sounds like you were really well meaning and it's a shame it's not worked out well. Try not to over worry about not looking your best on the video, it happens and you didn't know you were being filmed. You've explained so people will know you're not a parcel thief.

travelallthetime · 14/10/2025 11:05

God, we take in parcels all the time.
I would comment on the post, 'wow, thanks for calling me a druggie, I have a cold and fell over.....I put a note through your door explaining where your parcel was as I didnt want it to get stolen, I wont bother next time, if you READ the note I left, you will know exactly where your parcel is'
Fuck them