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AIBU?

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Original poster

Or am I being a parcel stealing, curtain twitching busybody?

344 replies

TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 08:29

Name change.

A video has been posted on a local facebook group that looks like I have stolen parcels. The person who posted it said "what is the world coming to when the local druggy nicks your child's bedtime story books". I'm scared this will get back to my employer. I work for the civil service so if they dont get the full story, I will be sacked. I will tell my boss when she gets in. She wont find it funny and I'm humiliated. I dont take drugs but I did stumble in the video and I have a cold so was wiping my nose a lot which looks bad.

My husband thinks I was niave and shouldnt have got involved. I have the parcels but will I be liable for them if I put them back where I found them because they will get nicked? I dont really want to speak with the person as they are obviously looking for trouble.

I've already commented on the video and have asked admin the take it down.

Our Evri and Amazon driver has started leaving parcels on our doorsteps which are directly on the street. Obviously they arent there when we get home.

I walked past a neighbour's house yesterday. It is a few houses down but I dont know them. They had parcels leaning against their house (directly on the street/pavement). I thought I was being nice. I wish someone had taken in the ebay parcel I had stolen the other day because the item in that was irreplaceable. So I thoight I was being a good neighbour.

The video shows me look at the parcels as I walk past, then come back a few minutes later, pick them up and walk off with them. What actually happened was that I walk past, come back with a note, post it through the door and then walk away with the parcels. I didnt realise there was a camera or I would have made a big drama of posting the note. You can see the door on the video but because of how Im standing you can see Im doing sonething but not that I posted a letter through. The note was an A4 sheet of pink lined paper ripped from a book and folded in half so they would have seen it.

The note said that their parcels were left on the doorstep so Ive taken them in, my house number and that someone will be in for the rest of the day and today.

I dont know what to do with the parcels. I dont want to speak with this person but if I put them back they'll get stolen.

I'm humiliated. I wont do it again.

My husbabd thinks I was interfearing in sonething that didnt concern me and basically asked for trouble. I thought I was just being nice and doing what I wish other people did.

YABU - you should have left the parcels alone
YANBU - you were trying to be neighbourly

OP posts:
Autumngirl5 · 15/10/2025 18:41

I wouldn’t mention it to my boss. If she mentioned it to me I would just tell her I posted a note through the neighbours door and I’m not sure why she has written the post.

user6788 · 15/10/2025 18:32

Sadworld23 · 15/10/2025 18:25

I believe the definition of theft actually includes the 'intent to deprive' which suggests the OP is not in fact guilty of theft.

Show quote history

In a literal, basic definition, yes. But it includes many more caveats. i.e

2 “Dishonestly”
(1) A person’s appropriation of property belonging to another is not to be regarded as dishonest—
(a) if he appropriates the property in the belief that he has in law the right to deprive the other of it, on behalf of himself or of a third person; or
(b) if he appropriates the property in the belief that he would have the other’s consent if the other knew of the appropriation and the circumstances of it; or
(c) (except where the property came to him as trustee or personal representative) if he appropriates the property in the belief that the person to whom the property belongs cannot be discovered by taking reasonable steps.
(2) A person’s appropriation of property belonging to another may be dishonest notwithstanding that he is willing to pay for the property.

This likely would come under 2.2 as OP believes that they would have consent as OP believed that taking the parcel in would be a nice thing to do.

Sadworld23 · 15/10/2025 18:25

user6788 · 15/10/2025 18:15

Taking someone’s parcel off of their doorstep, even if well meaning can be deemed as a criminal offence, but if you actually believed you were doing something good, than there’s a possibility that your actions would be judged against the Ivey test. It’s obviously a very unfortunate situation to be in. Although well meaning, if I was you, I wouldn’t have done it in the first place. If I was worried about them being stolen, I’d have messaged them first to inform them the parcel has arrived and offered to take them in. There is also a onus on the person who posted the video as well as technically goes against gdpr and paints you falsely in a bad light so you could potentially claim from them, though it’s a lot of aggro.

I believe the definition of theft actually includes the 'intent to deprive' which suggests the OP is not in fact guilty of theft.

Daftypants · 15/10/2025 18:23

What a shame , you did something with good intentions and some idiot on Facebook has put a post .
If you can contact the group admin to get it removed and if possible contact the parcel recipients too

Sadworld23 · 15/10/2025 18:23

Hrft but I would contact community support officer, explain what's happened and ask them to accompany you returning the parcels.

The defamatory post is also an offence so you could file a counter-complaint but that won't help neighbour relations.

Don't know how/ where you asked for post to be deleted, but I would do both a Facebook report and the admin of the group, again with an explanation.

Pinkpommebear · 15/10/2025 18:22

TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 14:43

How were we meant to give the parcel back without knocking on the door? I mean he could stand and stare at the ring doorbell and hope he doesnt end up online too but I dont think that would work. The note was to reiterate where the parcel us and that we did try to redeliver it.

Ive got this image in my head of you thinking were playing Knock on Ginger but to make it extra hard that we have to put random notes through the postbox before running away.

Show quote history

What is knock on ginger?

BurntBroccoli · 15/10/2025 18:21

Oh you poor thing OP. I often think it’s awful that people post these videos. There was one of a poor lady the other week clearly looking for a particular house number maybe to deliver something and had entered the garden then walked off.

user6788 · 15/10/2025 18:15

Taking someone’s parcel off of their doorstep, even if well meaning can be deemed as a criminal offence, but if you actually believed you were doing something good, than there’s a possibility that your actions would be judged against the Ivey test. It’s obviously a very unfortunate situation to be in. Although well meaning, if I was you, I wouldn’t have done it in the first place. If I was worried about them being stolen, I’d have messaged them first to inform them the parcel has arrived and offered to take them in. There is also a onus on the person who posted the video as well as technically goes against gdpr and paints you falsely in a bad light so you could potentially claim from them, though it’s a lot of aggro.

BeenThere2Often · 15/10/2025 18:12

TheatricalLife · 14/10/2025 08:47

I think you are catastrophizing here.
If you've explained yourself on the post and asked for it to be removed, leave it at that. As the parcels will be returned unopened and intact, surely it will be obvious to anyone with a brain that you weren't planning on stealing them?

Edited

This ^
If you are an anxious person you are likely way over-thinking this.
Also I’d be incensed if I helped a neighbour out like this and a shitty message and video footage of me was posted as a consequence. People on your street sure are not afraid of being sued for defamation.
The fact of the parcels being still unopened says it all.
Stop internalising and freaking and go around there now with the parcels if you haven’t already. It sounds like you are reacting like a rabbit caught in the headlights with this.
FWIW Our street has a policy of collecting each others parcels from doorsteps and it would be thought a bit mean/lazy not to do it. You’d fit in well around here. 😁

CryMyEyesViolet · 15/10/2025 18:12

Why haven’t you just commented to say “did you not get the note I posted? I had a parcel stolen the other day and have them here for you safe and unopened, happy to drop them round whenever you want. I did post a note through, so sorry for the confusion/panic but not a druggy just a friendly neighbour trying to help!”

This whole thing is a non event.

HereWeGo1234 · 15/10/2025 18:11

What I don’t understand is if u put a note in/on their door why would they put up that video of you and even if they put it up in anger, why wouldn’t they take it down after your DH went back?
Sorry if I’ve missed something.

Mummyof32023 · 15/10/2025 18:07

As much as this annoys me parcel been left on the doorstep, unless the delivery driver hands me the parcel for someone else and I then directly message them because we're friends.

I take in others when the delivery driver ASKS me so I know they will officially put a card through the door. I don't and would never ever randomly take a parcel left out the front. Its asking for trouble.

Kellph83 · 15/10/2025 17:55

Oops

ViaRia01 · 15/10/2025 14:50

Edited out my comment as I was the dick who hadn’t read all the updates from OP before I posted

Delphiniumandlupins · 15/10/2025 14:43

Definitely related to the owner of the phone I found. Some people just hate to admit they've got something wrong.

BananaPeels · 15/10/2025 14:11

It is still baffling it took them that long to collect them. No chance they would still have been there if you hadn’t taken them in. They could also have got potentially soaked in the rain.

ClockworkGoose · 15/10/2025 14:09

Baffling that they had the note all along but still posted the video. What on earth were they thinking?

Original poster
TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 15/10/2025 13:22

We tried to delivery it a couple of times again but no answer.

The son came round this morning, hammering on our door.
Me - hi
Him - you've got our parcel (waving my original pink note at me)
Me - oh sure. Let me get it. We did try to deliver it a few times but you werent in.
Him - (nothing)
Me - (passing over the parcels) It was left on the street and Ive had a few parcels stolen so I thought it would be safer to pick it up
Him - Is this it? (grabs the parcels)
Me - yes. There were 2. Now you have it, can you take the video down please
Him - dunno. It's me mum (walks off).

If there was any small thought that I would do that good deed again, that intetaction destroyed it.

It appears that the video and my other post have been taken down from facebook by admin. From a couple of comments, it looks like it all kicked off on them last night but I didnt see it.

Maybe a tad passive aggressive but I've just posted "Parcels returned intact to owner as planned. I'm glad they spotted the note I left them when I originally picked the parcels up from the street. Last night I dreamt that all the parcels Ive had stolen from my doorstep had also been rescued by a well meaning neighbour. Signed your friendly local parcel stealing druggy. PS next time make your parcels more interesting than children's books. Food is always a good call." Someone replied with a laughing face straight away but I suspect admin will remove it as soon as they see it.

Dont worry, I will never do it again.

OP posts:
BooneyBeautiful · 15/10/2025 10:45

This reminds me of something that happened to DM many years ago.

One of the neighbours told DM they were going away on holiday, presumably so DM could keep an eye on their property. She walked past one day and noticed some mail sticking out of the letterbox, so she thought she would be helpful and push it through. The trouble was that the letterbox was very stiff and aggressive which resulted in DM cutting her hand very badly and needing to go to A & E for stitches. DF was unwell at the time, so another neighbour kindly took DM to the hospital.

DF was fuming at DM for getting involved and then having to rely on someone else to take her to hospital. DF very rarely got angry, hence why I remember the story.

As an earlier poster said, no good deed goes unpunished!

Namerequired · 15/10/2025 09:23

No good deed goes unpunished. I’m sorry this happened to you op. You did a good thing, you were a good neighbour. Don’t let this bad experience change you. They are the problem not you. I hope you get an apology, though I doubt it. If they were that concerned for their parcel they would have replied to you by now. I would say they have ordered free replacements.

Original poster
TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 15/10/2025 06:37

Delphiniumandlupins · 14/10/2025 15:56

This reminds me of the time I found a phone locally. No response to photo posted on the local FB group. Battery was flat and we didn't own the right charger. DH kindly offered to go to the local pub where they have a plethora of different chargers. He plugged it in, got a drink and after a little while the phone rang "What are you doing with my son's phone?" asked a very aggressive woman. DH tried to explain and said where he was. Shortly after an angry man came in, shouting for his phone, no thanks uttered. My DH has told me not to pick up any more lost items.

I don't see how you have done anything wrong @TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb

That's rubbish but I had to laugh at the "we didnt have the right charger so husband selflessly offered to go all the way to the pub to sort it and then support a local busibess while he wss there". 🤣

OP posts:
BananaPeels · 14/10/2025 23:51

How has this neighbour not claimed their parcels yet? If the OP hadn’t taken them in then for sure they would have been stolen for real by now!

Cherryicecreamx · 14/10/2025 23:49

I do think it's a bit much to take someone's delivered parcels even though you had good intentions. I would be a bit shocked to see it on my door cam footage as well but the note should explain it all which is bizarre why they wrote that as if they haven't seen the note and believe that their parcels were indeed stolen over being looked after by a neighbour.

I think a simple explanation should be suffice and then they will take down the post as well.

Jack80 · 14/10/2025 22:18

I wouldn't have moved them but its done now, you have learnt from it

Jorge14 · 14/10/2025 20:01

You were being nice, don’t bother anymore!

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