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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or am I being a parcel stealing, curtain twitching busybody?

344 replies

TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 08:29

Name change.

A video has been posted on a local facebook group that looks like I have stolen parcels. The person who posted it said "what is the world coming to when the local druggy nicks your child's bedtime story books". I'm scared this will get back to my employer. I work for the civil service so if they dont get the full story, I will be sacked. I will tell my boss when she gets in. She wont find it funny and I'm humiliated. I dont take drugs but I did stumble in the video and I have a cold so was wiping my nose a lot which looks bad.

My husband thinks I was niave and shouldnt have got involved. I have the parcels but will I be liable for them if I put them back where I found them because they will get nicked? I dont really want to speak with the person as they are obviously looking for trouble.

I've already commented on the video and have asked admin the take it down.

Our Evri and Amazon driver has started leaving parcels on our doorsteps which are directly on the street. Obviously they arent there when we get home.

I walked past a neighbour's house yesterday. It is a few houses down but I dont know them. They had parcels leaning against their house (directly on the street/pavement). I thought I was being nice. I wish someone had taken in the ebay parcel I had stolen the other day because the item in that was irreplaceable. So I thoight I was being a good neighbour.

The video shows me look at the parcels as I walk past, then come back a few minutes later, pick them up and walk off with them. What actually happened was that I walk past, come back with a note, post it through the door and then walk away with the parcels. I didnt realise there was a camera or I would have made a big drama of posting the note. You can see the door on the video but because of how Im standing you can see Im doing sonething but not that I posted a letter through. The note was an A4 sheet of pink lined paper ripped from a book and folded in half so they would have seen it.

The note said that their parcels were left on the doorstep so Ive taken them in, my house number and that someone will be in for the rest of the day and today.

I dont know what to do with the parcels. I dont want to speak with this person but if I put them back they'll get stolen.

I'm humiliated. I wont do it again.

My husbabd thinks I was interfearing in sonething that didnt concern me and basically asked for trouble. I thought I was just being nice and doing what I wish other people did.

YABU - you should have left the parcels alone
YANBU - you were trying to be neighbourly

OP posts:
Didwesayitall · 14/10/2025 09:16

Yanbu. Can you take a picture of the note you left to show that you didn't steal it?

Can the neighbour vouch for you that you left a note on their door? Have they been round to take the parcel?

BerryTwister · 14/10/2025 09:16

TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 09:14

My husband tried to take the parcels back but no one answered the door. He put another note through.

I had already replied to the video but Ive now added a picture of the unopned parcels as suggested. Ive also put my own post that says "Mr x of x street, I picked up your parcels from your doorstep so they didnt get stolen. They are safe so message me to collect".

You need to make it clear that you put a note through the door at the time. Otherwise it looks like you're back-pedalling because you've been caught out.

Sc00byDont · 14/10/2025 09:15

@TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb stop being so wet!

Just post a reply on social media ‘Well this is awkward. I was trying to be neighbourly and look after your parcels. (I’ve had parcels left on my doorstep stolen recently.) Not sure how you missed my note through your door. Anyway, I’ve dropped another note in, or let me know here or by DM when I can drop them by.’

And then get on with your day. No need for drama.

Original poster
TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 09:14

My husband tried to take the parcels back but no one answered the door. He put another note through.

I had already replied to the video but Ive now added a picture of the unopned parcels as suggested. Ive also put my own post that says "Mr x of x street, I picked up your parcels from your doorstep so they didnt get stolen. They are safe so message me to collect".

OP posts:
Charlenedickens · 14/10/2025 09:13

That’s a bit odd. Why didn’t you post and say something like oh did you not see my note through the door, I picked them up to stop them getting nicked. Happy for you to pop round or I can drop them back.

they can’t have seen the note as I can’t imagine someone would post that if they had the note, they’d just get the parcels.

how many houses away are you?

Butchyrestingface · 14/10/2025 09:11

TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 09:06

Excuse me? What "excuses, excuses" have I made exactly?

As people have already commented at the point of your post, I hadnt clarified whether Id given them back or not. Dont assume stuff.

As it happens my husband knocked on the door about 10minutes after I posted this and they didnt answer so he put another note through.

Edited
Show quote history

How am I assuming anything?

I responded to your OP, in which you stated:

I dont know what to do with the parcels. I dont want to speak with this person but if I put them back they'll get stolen.

You clearly stated you had not returned the parcels. Confused

And it sounds like you STILL haven’t returned them.

FcukBreastCancer · 14/10/2025 09:11

Try not to worry op. You did a nice thing.

Original poster
TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 09:10

ClockworkGoose · 14/10/2025 08:49

I know I shouldn’t laugh but it actually did sound funny how you described the video. It’s bizarre that they have a note, they know who you are, where you live and why you took the parcels in for safe keeping, but they neglected to mention any of that in the post. Is it possible they’ve had parcels going missing for a while and now think it was you all along and the note was just a cover? Odd. If I had a note through the door I’d just knock on the door it said and get the parcels, which makes me think they might not have got the note. One of their kids might have got there first and hidden it or thrown it away? However taking parcels from the doorstep of someone you don’t even know does sound a bit naive yes.

Edited

Plus it showed how ill fitting my coat is so I can see why I didnt look particularly great. That has upset me too that. That is what people see when thet look at me.

OP posts:
NewYorkSummer · 14/10/2025 09:10

Lookingforwardto2025 · 14/10/2025 08:33

I think you were well meaning OP but I wouldn't move someone's parcels unless I had a pre existing arrangement with them. It is up to the person receiving the deliveries to nominate a safe place and then to take responsibility if anything is taken.

I’m with this. Unless you know the neighbour well ( which you clearly don’t) I wouldn’t be removing any parcels. They could easily use another address if they’re concerned about them being stolen. Also, why does she think you’re a druggie?!

ClockworkGoose · 14/10/2025 09:09

TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 09:06

Excuse me? What "excuses, excuses" have I made exactly?

As people have already commented at the point of your post, I hadnt clarified whether Id given them back or not. Dont assume stuff.

As it happens my husband knocked on the door about 10minutes after I posted this and they didnt answer so he put another note through.

Edited
Show quote history

You said you didn’t put it back in case it gets stolen. That excuse?

I dont know what to do with the parcels. I dont want to speak with this person but if I put them back they'll get stolen.

That sounds pretty clarified to me. Are you sure you’re not the local druggy? 😂

BerryTwister · 14/10/2025 09:09

Why can't you just post on the facebook post "that was me. Parcels get stolen from doorsteps all the time, so I've taken the parcels in for safekeeping, and what you can't see on the film is that I've put a note through the door explaining this. Oh and I'm not a druggie, not sure where that came from! If the occupant of house X would like me to put them back on the doorstep, I'm happy to do that. Or he/she can pick them up from where I'm keeping them safe any time. No need for all the sleuthing!"

ClockworkGoose · 14/10/2025 09:06

InAHammock · 14/10/2025 08:55

I don’t get the catastrophising — haven’t you posted on the FB group to explain and taken back the parcels?

The way I read it no, they haven’t given them back.

Original poster
TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 09:06

Butchyrestingface · 14/10/2025 08:40

I’m with your husband. You don’t even know these people. You had no right to remove a package from their doorstep and you haven’t even returned it yet because excuses, excuses.

They’ve probably ordered or bought replacements by now. Put it back, for pity’s sake. If you put it back (take footage of yourself doing so) and then it gets stolen, that is none of your business or your problem.

Excuse me? What "excuses, excuses" have I made exactly?

As people have already commented at the point of your post, I hadnt clarified whether Id given them back or not. Dont assume stuff.

As it happens my husband knocked on the door about 10minutes after I posted this and they didnt answer so he put another note through.

OP posts:
Lotsalotsagiggles · 14/10/2025 09:04

Take them back and explain and hopefully they'll see how genuine you are and take it down

LalalalalaItGoesAroundTheWold · 14/10/2025 09:00

How many houses away from your are they?
They obviously don't even know you.
I get what you tried to do but I would absolutely never do for someone i don't even know.

Shmee1988 · 14/10/2025 09:00

Im surprised at the amount of people who dont seem to understand why you havent yet knocked on this person's door to return the parcels. I can only imagine that after the video they posted, turning up at their door makes you feel super anxious about their possible reaction. All you can do is what you've done, post what actually happened on the FB page. Tell them you were trying to be kind but you will put them back where you found them and if they get stolen, thats on them.

InAHammock · 14/10/2025 08:55

I don’t get the catastrophising — haven’t you posted on the FB group to explain and taken back the parcels?

LoveWine123 · 14/10/2025 08:50

Surely the quickest way to resolve this is to take back the parcels and explain what happened. I think you will create a bigger problem for yourself by avoiding your neighbour.

ClockworkGoose · 14/10/2025 08:49

I know I shouldn’t laugh but it actually did sound funny how you described the video. It’s bizarre that they have a note, they know who you are, where you live and why you took the parcels in for safe keeping, but they neglected to mention any of that in the post. Is it possible they’ve had parcels going missing for a while and now think it was you all along and the note was just a cover? Odd. If I had a note through the door I’d just knock on the door it said and get the parcels, which makes me think they might not have got the note. One of their kids might have got there first and hidden it or thrown it away? However taking parcels from the doorstep of someone you don’t even know does sound a bit naive yes.

TheatricalLife · 14/10/2025 08:47

I think you are catastrophizing here.
If you've explained yourself on the post and asked for it to be removed, leave it at that. As the parcels will be returned unopened and intact, surely it will be obvious to anyone with a brain that you weren't planning on stealing them?

Pebblepoppy · 14/10/2025 08:46

Post a cheering response on the FB page. "Hi, that was me, your neighbour 2 doors down. I picked them up for safekeeping, as I've had parcels stolen from my doorstep. I did post a note to that effect, sorry you don't seem to have seen it. Contact me by PM and I'll bring them along when convenient. "

I think you were well meaning, but I wouldn't have done it.

I don't know why it wouldn't cause an issue for you at work.

TheTortiePuffinNeedsHerBreakfast · 14/10/2025 08:45

You were coming from a good place but it's really presumptuous to take parcels off the doorstep of someone you don't really know or had asked you to do this. I am sure you won't be in trouble at work, but it was an odd thing to do. Fine if you have an existing arrangement but otherwise not. Some people are happy to risk parcels being left because of the convenience.

cakeisallyouneed · 14/10/2025 08:43

Maybe they haven’t found the note then? You need to tackle this head on. If you know most of the people in the FB group then why not. Put a post on the Facebook group with your version of events. Say your intention was good, keeping them safe, you left a note, and you’re mortified by the assumption of stealing Etc.

Butchyrestingface · 14/10/2025 08:42

TheNightingalesStarling · 14/10/2025 08:41

My neighbour did that for me, and I was really grateful and it £200 worth of school uniform. She even waved at our security camera while doing it.

Do you know your neighbour to say hello to though?

TheNightingalesStarling · 14/10/2025 08:41

My neighbour did that for me, and I was really grateful and it £200 worth of school uniform. She even waved at our security camera while doing it.

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