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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or am I being a parcel stealing, curtain twitching busybody?

344 replies

TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 08:29

Name change.

A video has been posted on a local facebook group that looks like I have stolen parcels. The person who posted it said "what is the world coming to when the local druggy nicks your child's bedtime story books". I'm scared this will get back to my employer. I work for the civil service so if they dont get the full story, I will be sacked. I will tell my boss when she gets in. She wont find it funny and I'm humiliated. I dont take drugs but I did stumble in the video and I have a cold so was wiping my nose a lot which looks bad.

My husband thinks I was niave and shouldnt have got involved. I have the parcels but will I be liable for them if I put them back where I found them because they will get nicked? I dont really want to speak with the person as they are obviously looking for trouble.

I've already commented on the video and have asked admin the take it down.

Our Evri and Amazon driver has started leaving parcels on our doorsteps which are directly on the street. Obviously they arent there when we get home.

I walked past a neighbour's house yesterday. It is a few houses down but I dont know them. They had parcels leaning against their house (directly on the street/pavement). I thought I was being nice. I wish someone had taken in the ebay parcel I had stolen the other day because the item in that was irreplaceable. So I thoight I was being a good neighbour.

The video shows me look at the parcels as I walk past, then come back a few minutes later, pick them up and walk off with them. What actually happened was that I walk past, come back with a note, post it through the door and then walk away with the parcels. I didnt realise there was a camera or I would have made a big drama of posting the note. You can see the door on the video but because of how Im standing you can see Im doing sonething but not that I posted a letter through. The note was an A4 sheet of pink lined paper ripped from a book and folded in half so they would have seen it.

The note said that their parcels were left on the doorstep so Ive taken them in, my house number and that someone will be in for the rest of the day and today.

I dont know what to do with the parcels. I dont want to speak with this person but if I put them back they'll get stolen.

I'm humiliated. I wont do it again.

My husbabd thinks I was interfearing in sonething that didnt concern me and basically asked for trouble. I thought I was just being nice and doing what I wish other people did.

YABU - you should have left the parcels alone
YANBU - you were trying to be neighbourly

OP posts:
diddl · 14/10/2025 10:13

Are parcel stations much of a thing in UK?

Surely if you are regularly out & stuff is left literally on the street then this exactly what they are for?

I'm not suggesting that OP organise this btw nor that she wasn't trying to do the proverbial good deed.

Just that there are other options that the recipients could sort out.

Bournetilly · 14/10/2025 10:12

You are not going to get in trouble at work for this, you were literally helping out. Hopefully they delete the video.

BitOutOfPractice · 14/10/2025 10:12

Sorry, edited because 47,000 people already posted about a note.

ClockworkGoose · 14/10/2025 10:10

InAHammock · 14/10/2025 09:25

Which suggests they may not be at home, and are relying only on the doorbell footage which appears not to show the note being posted? That, or the note got shovelled up with the post from the doormat and overlooked.

It’s the major plot point of several 19thc novels.

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Sherlock Holmes and the missing doorbell camera footage?

DontStopMeNowGoodTime · 14/10/2025 10:09

Post again saying Hi, we've knocked to drop the parcels in but no one is answering.

I would also report the video to FB.
'Facebook provides a number of ways for people to report imagery that they believe violates their privacy. The quickest way to report abuse is by using the Report links located near the photo or video that you want to report.'

Sorry this has happened to you OP.

whatevenwasthat · 14/10/2025 10:07

To be honest, I don't know why you're making such a drama about it.

You did something you thought was helpful, it was an honest action. You have commented to clarify your position and any normal person would see you haven't stolen parcels. Particularly if your colleagues see it, as presumably they'll be aware that you're not a drug dealing thief.

I'd stick the parcels back on their doorstep and forget about it. Really don't get what the big deal is.

Original poster
TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 10:01

Didwesayitall · 14/10/2025 09:51

OP, you seem like you worry a lot which has also got you in this mess worrying on behalf of others too! Bless you.

No need to change your coat if that's all you have and need, unless you want to change them and not because of other people.

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Thank you.

Yes, I am a bit of a worry head at the moment. I'm not normally but there is some stuff going on.

OP posts:
nomas · 14/10/2025 10:00

You have seriously overstepped.

I would be questioning your judgement and common sense if I was your boss.

If a parcel goes missing from someone's property, they are big girls and boys, they can deal with it, they don't need you vigilanting for them.

diddl · 14/10/2025 09:59

I think I would have put the parcels back now & post a pic of them.

I know you meant well but I would be annoyed to get a note that said "I have your parcel come & fetch it".

So you have had the parcels overnight?

Original poster
TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 09:59

Good point about the cold HOWEVER the likelyhood if catching a cold from carboard is pretty low. They are far nore likely to catch it from their day to day business.

OP posts:
BellyPork · 14/10/2025 09:56

That's awful, making you feel like shit when you were going out of your way to help. If it's any consolation, I'd be happy to have a neighbour like you.

Figcherry · 14/10/2025 09:56

No good deed goes unpunished @TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb .

It’s sad that people jump to conclusions but in this case probably inevitable.
Dont worry, it will blow over and you will have a new coat.

Original poster
TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 09:56

MissDoubleU · 14/10/2025 09:37

Literally this - you might have rescued their parcel but you are gifting them all your lovely germs. How do you know they don’t have a vulnerable family member?? Have people learned NOTHING from Covid??

Your husband was bang on, you need to learn to leave well enough alone. And the only person who should have prevented your irreplaceable eBay item from being stolen was YOU. You can easily elect a safe space for a parcel to be left. Mine is more often than not popped in my blue recycling bin or somewhere equally hidden. You can also elect a specific, safe neighbour (or neighbours garden/bin) for it to be left with so it isn’t on your doorstep.

No one who hasn’t asked wants or needs you rushing in to rescue and infect them.

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I am super excited that you have a safe place. We dont. I dont like to keep my bins by my front door. We couldnt anyway even if I didnt mind the yuk factor.

Most of my neighbours work.

Plus, I doubt the current delivery driver would pay any attention to it anyway.

OP posts:
Danioyellow · 14/10/2025 09:54

Didwesayitall · 14/10/2025 09:31

It's not the same thing. OP hasn't "effectively stolen" them. She left a note and directed them to her home.

She’s actually literally stolen them at this point. She went on their property and took their belongings without permission, and has so far failed to return it despite them posting on social media that their parcels have been stolen. Who in their right minds would refuse to just put them back ffs???

Didwesayitall · 14/10/2025 09:51

TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 09:48

The first time I remember I was avoiding dog mess but miscalculated the gap (that sounds ridiculous). The second time I think I must have caught the front of my trainer on the uneven pavement. I do that a lot.

I dont drink. Plus I was coming home from work.

I do wear my ill fitting coat as it's the only one I have. I will be looking in the charity shops this weelemd because I didnt realisr how awful that one looks. I knew it didnt fit obviously.

Edited
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OP, you seem like you worry a lot which has also got you in this mess worrying on behalf of others too! Bless you.

No need to change your coat if that's all you have and need, unless you want to change them and not because of other people.

Dacatspjs · 14/10/2025 09:50

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 14/10/2025 09:46

All these complicated suggestions for new notes to write... Just put the bloody parcels back on the doorstep and don't forget to stick two fingers up to the camera ( while smoking a joint or snorting a line, of course)

They might not have even been home yet to see the first note. They might have just seen their parcel being taken from their ring door bell and panicked.

Agree just put the parcels back.

Original poster
TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 09:48

Didwesayitall · 14/10/2025 09:32

Not unless you walk outside with your ill fitting house coat often while stumbling and rubbing your nose. If you otherwise are dressed in regular fitting clothes and walk normally, I doubt they see you that way.

Why were you stumbling? A bit drunk/hung over or just coincidence?

Edited
Show quote history

The first time I remember I was avoiding dog mess but miscalculated the gap (that sounds ridiculous). The second time I think I must have caught the front of my trainer on the uneven pavement. I do that a lot.

I dont drink. Plus I was coming home from work.

I do wear my ill fitting coat as it's the only one I have. I will be looking in the charity shops this weelemd because I didnt realisr how awful that one looks. I knew it didnt fit obviously.

OP posts:
Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 14/10/2025 09:46

All these complicated suggestions for new notes to write... Just put the bloody parcels back on the doorstep and don't forget to stick two fingers up to the camera ( while smoking a joint or snorting a line, of course)

Arlanymor · 14/10/2025 09:45

Even with the best intentions, I wouldn’t ever remove parcels belonging to someone I didn’t know. I live in a small block of six flats - I would do this for three neighbours, but not for the other two, I don’t know them.

Don’t speak to your boss, that’s completely unnecessary. And fixating on what you look like on the video is taking away from what needs to happen now, which is to make sure that she gets her parcels back first and foremost, then the post being taken down is secondary.

Dacatspjs · 14/10/2025 09:44

Id be really pissed off if I knew my parcels were on my doorstep and then I had to bother to go round to a neighbour to find the things. Where I am yes I might go and knock on a neighbours door to collect my parcel, but equally they'll bring it round if they see I'm back.

Putting a note through the door saying they need to come and get it, when it was there already adds complexity to their day they didn't need. There's also the possibility they didn't get the note, a dog or cat ripped it up, it got picked up amongst the junk mail, another member of the family binned it....

BallerinaRadio · 14/10/2025 09:44

This is all such an unnecessary drama (and I'm not even sure it's about the parcels at all tbh) I just cannot fathom why you didn't take the parcels back straight away with the note.

I'm not quite sure why you are so adamant they would get stolen 😵‍💫

(Again)

(Sorry)

BerryTwister · 14/10/2025 09:44

Have they replied to your explanation?
I would add a post saying "do you want me to put the parcels back on your doorstep, or will you pick them up? I don't care either way. I was only trying to be helpful. Lesson learned. Never again. Now I know the meaning of the phrase No good deed goes unpunished!"

Randomlygeneratedname · 14/10/2025 09:43

TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 09:39

I dont know. The name doesnt match the parcel and it's terrace housing with doors next to each other with the camera looking down. It looks like it is set up to cover both doors so it could be either.

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Oooh maybe that neighbour had been asked to take them in as away or something. Came home to find them gone and now feels responsibility to find them!

ConcernedOfClapham · 14/10/2025 09:42

All of this could have been sorted in an instant, if you’d left a note. 😢

BunnyLake · 14/10/2025 09:41

TwilightSkylightsAndA40WattBulb · 14/10/2025 08:37

I won't be doing it again. My husband is of the opinion that neighbours should always be plesasnt but only help when asked or after offering. That makes me sad but I am going to have to take that approach going forward. I think I was just thinking how much I would have appreciated someone looking after my ebay parcel for me.

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And your husband is mainly right.

You can't take it upon yourself to remove parcels even if they look vulnerable there, that’s an issue for the owner to deal with.

I hope it all gets sorted out for you in the end.