Friend and Continued Work Absence

@GentleWord Just because someone tells you something doesn’t make it true.

Is OFSTED or ISI found that recruitment checks were not being done in line with Safer Recruitment practices it’s an instant failure of inspection.

Safeguarding is the most important thing schools do and if legal requirements aren’t met the school would be in real trouble.

I think it raises the issue of just how much pressure schools are under. Unreasonable workloads are rife. Teachers are human like everyone else and they are leaving the job in droves, and that's without disabilities.

Doesn’t it. It’s not my attitude, but I couldn’t think of another way to word it to highlight the OP’s horrible attitude. That attitude and the perceived “shame” of “having to work in Asda” is exactly why this poor woman keeps having to drag herself into an incredibly stressful job that trashes her mental health.

This is entirely not true.

You need your work history verified going back 10 years - no gaps etc. including any work abroad.

You absolutely need a reference from your most recent place of work.

Safer Recruitment has been in place for many years.

If she sued and they settled, I'd assume her compromise agreement included an agreement of the reference ie employment dates with no reference to sickness

That last part speaks volumes of op attitude towards retail workers.

I agree, I worked in social services. My mh declined and I recognised I couldn’t cope with the stress, I ended up on long term and ultimately left and found a more suitable job for me .

It sounds like your friend is masking , she starts a new job is able to do it well because she pretends everything is fine but ultimately the cracks begin to show.

id come at it from supporting her with her mh rather than her career choice.

Leaving aside the fact that you’re obviously a bloody terrible friend, this jumped out at me:

Her family and her would think that she is worth more than a retail job though and take immense pride that she can call herself a teacher. I mean they'd have preferred lawyer or something but teaching at least requires a degree.

… and I think it’s fairly easy to see what’s happening here: this poor woman is clearly trying to live up to family expectations and pressure. She probably didn’t want to be a teacher at all, but was pushed into it. And now it’s all she can do even though she can’t mentally cope with it, so she keeps taking jobs so as not to let the family down and then ends up with severe mental health issues as a result. I feel for the poor woman, it’s incredibly difficult to get out of this kind of cycle. She’s probably terrified having to drag herself in there every day but she has to earn a living, so she does it until she simply can’t any more, goes off sick, quits, tries again when she needs to pay her bills, and the cycle repeats. I wish her well. You on the other hand, who thinks people with illnesses or disabilities are only good enough to work in Asda, not so much.

She gets the support of being paid when she is off sick and the school employing supply staff in her absence.
Great for her, not so good for the children in her class or the school that is having to pay out to 'support' her.

Hahaha you're a hoot.
Try pulling that amount of absence with Asda your arse would be out the door.

Of course it’s not unreasonable to expect people to attend work more than half of the time, especially something as important as teaching.

if she has a disability she’s entitled to reasonable adjustments. It’s hard to see that being off for half the time is reasonable.

Again OP, do you really think schools were hiring teachers without full checks including most recent reference? If someone declined to give their most recent or current place of work as a reference that would be a red flag, especially in education or any sort of care/safeguarding setting.

I think the friendship for me would hinge on whether I thought she was taking the piss, or if she was genuinely upset that ill health consistently prevented her doing her job.

If she's just playing the system then I would take that as someone who's morals and ethics didn't align with mine, and I would back away from the friendship.

I wouldn't confront her though; whatever her attitude is she will be fully aware of what she is doing and the impact it has. You pointing it out to her is just you venting your frustration- don't dress it up as 'helping'your friend.

I don’t think you’ve understood.

And do you really think up until recently schools were hiring teachers without references? If so I’d be more concerned about who else could be working there than a teacher with a lot of absence.

It seems as if you don’t really like or respect this person and they probably know that, so maybe it’s best you back away from the relationship. It sounds as if you feel they are in the wrong, irrespective of perspectives shared here. I don’t think you can be a good friend given your resentment.