Inheritance

It wasn't the grandchildren's inheritance; your father was still alive, so it was his money.
Who do you think should have paid for his care?

Just to be clear I am one of the older generations and no, I got nothing for inheritance. So grabbed nothing, made most of my money buying property in the 90s and 00s, all unearned income which dwarfed the wealth generated from working. I plan to look after my kids who I recognise will not be able to have the opportunities I had to make free money from house price rises.
So not entitled, far from it. Just waiting for Rachel's axe to fall squarely on me next month, then I will have to share my kid's money with other people's kids, which I don't mind.

Who else was going to pay for the care home ?
Were you planning to ,if the grandchildren had the interhitance

Omg, how entitled and grabby you sound. I actually hope you get left nothing. You don’t deserve it.

I agree to a point but it does depend on the circumstances.

MIL died a couple of years ago after a short illness at 86 and left us a £350k house. A month later I received an incurable diagnosis myself. I loved her very much and was devastated to lose her. DH even more so, of course. However, she'd lived a good life, reached a decent age, and we were relieved that she was spared a miserable old age and drawn out death. And of course we were very glad of the inheritance, particularly since I'm no longer able to work more than a few hours at week and will likely be dead before I'm 50. We don't have money to throw around but it eases the pressure a bit.

On the other hand, when I die, my life insurance will make DH a millionaire. The chances are I will be young and our children still dependent. I absolutely think my family would far rather have me than the money.

Side note, I'm due to inherit in the region of £200k from my parents. If I die before them it will go to my husband. But we're well aware it could all go care so there's no expectation, and they're early 70's so we hope to have them for a good while yet!

Edit: Sorry, I somehow lost the post I was quoting but it was on the first page and saying that it's not really true that we'd all rather have the person than the money.

I got nothing from my mum who didn’t even have a bank account and lived in a council house. She only had her state pension and had no savings. I had to pay for her funeral by putting it on a credit card. I also got nothing from grandparents. I envy people who do get an inheritance but it really irritates me when people expect it. It’s not their money.

Nothing from my grandparents, they had nothing to leave and couldn't even afford their own funerals. My parents are the same.

Good God! What an absolute load of tosh

There’s no doubt in my mind that my father will leave everything to my brothers, and nothing to me in a final act of emotional abuse. He will probably make me executor of his will to boot. But I understand what you mean. My house is all I have to leave my children. It’s frustrating to think the govt might take that too, after a lifetime of taxing me, and paying stamp duty etc

If there is moral to this story, make and/or update your will! (Message to self!)

On my side of the family, my DM unexpectedly predeceased her own mother who was in a care home with dementia, her flat having been sold to pay for the insurance bond which covered her care there.

DM had a mirror will and so that all went to my DF. I think her wish was for her pension to be split with myself and two siblings but be aware that pension trustees can decide where this goes and granted that to DF, which was just as well as their financial planning was based on two pensions. She had no provision for gifts to any DC or DGM if she predeceased DF.

When my beloved GM passed, she had drawn her will up so that the share of her estate which was due to DM went to myself and siblings. My DU (DM's Dbro) was not impressed as he had had an expectation that DM would provide free care and would be sole beneficiary.

Less than a week after DM died, DF's DM died leaving a house. She died intestate and the solicitor involved split the house 50/50 (with DF's half DBro). DF's step DF also died intestate but feasibly could have left everything to DF's half sibling. In a moment of inspired generosity, DF ceded his share to myself and my siblings - and the timing of this helped all three of us exponentially which was just as well as DF, when he died 20 years later, had taken out an equity release and I am sure my DM was turning in her urn at the way he blew all the money that they had built up together (with the help of his girlfriend). The 5 GC got £5k each, although this disadvantaged my Dsis who only has one DC.

Now my FIL & MIL, despite MIL being in a care home still left DH and his DBro £186k EACH but only £500 each to the GC. They got to 92/85 but we're very cagey about their money. My DH had two breakdowns within 7 years as a result of elder care for his parents.

My parents have both been paying for their care in nursing homes since their property was sold two years ago. They are now only a few months away from the council picking up their care bills as they are almost down to the £23,250 they are both allowed to keep. Myself and my sister were not in their Will anyway so wasn't going to get any inheritance.
My FIL recently died and did not need nursing care until the last few months so DH will inherit his property along with his sister.

Of course there’s loads of us in that position. I hardly know anyone in real life that has inherited anything significant.

PIL lived like paupers. Think staying in youth hostels in their 70’s to save money, £30 to the GC for 21st birthdays, two Morrisons cheesecakes for ten people for Xmas lunch. FIL died and they have over £1m in assets. MIL is now in care so it’s dripping away at over 4k a month. There’s no better use of her assets right now, but their refusal to plan is frustrating when they have four young adult GC who could have benefitted massively as they start out in life.

I like your way of thinking!

Get a passport

@plumpynoo I am very sorry for what your parents had to go through. It was disgusting then and still is. It stinks. I remember listening to post masters talking on the radio about what had happened in around 2014 way before Mr. Bates and the Post Office. Absolutely heartbreaking stories.
And still no resolve.

My parents had no assets to leave, so no inheritance. This was due to losing everything in the 2000's to the post office via horizon. So I do harbour a fair amount of resentment for that. Not just for my loss of inheritance but the misery and shame of my parents reduced circumstances at the end of their lives.

I have a friend who has been waiting for an inheritance from his mother since she was in her 80s. She’s 103 this year and still lives alone, does her own shopping & cooking etc …

OP my mum died a few months ago, in her mid 90s. There's a few thousand each, that's all. £350-400 000 gone in 10 years of care. No real inheritance. I can't think we are unusual.

My parents have left everything to our son. Nothing to me or our daughter. Bastards.

Well, they need somewhere to put all those odd bits of string that might come in useful one day.

It’s a difficult one. I inherited nowt, but dh and I through our own efforts entirely have acquired a house (bought after rises so not much of a gain) and some savings. I don’t really want those sequestered and redistributed!

There are always consequences - if inheritance tax is much more punitive then people will make efforts to offload savings in a timely fashion. Or - which would be disastrous - people would not pay into pensions or indeed save much at all, leaving more people reliant on the public purse.

It’s wise to plan ahead. Anyone who saved, bought a house, has a pension … that will all be used up for care if it’s needed. Those who didn’t do that and spent all their money will be in the bed beside them … funded by the government. Having worked in accounting at several nursing homes I can guarantee that…

@MaturingCheeseball , I hear you loud and clear. My parents reused everything, spent nothing and tutted at the price of carrots. It came to light they had 100s of thousands in bank accounts.

Madness.

I agree and to be clear they didn’t work any harder than later generations, most of their household wealth was springboarded by spiralling house prices and boundless stock market booms. The younger generation won’t have those opportunities as house prices flatline, and any chance of having investments is lost through higher tax to pay for their parent’s over generous benefits, student loans, high rents, etc