Inheritance

My parents would probably say the same about me but their minds would be totally blown with the day to day living costs I face. My vast salary doesn’t go far after huge taxes and housing costs. I don’t think that my parents have any idea the struggle I face to keep my head above water. An inheritance would at least mean that I knew I could pay down the mortgage if made redundant and not face losing my house. The stress of this thought is making me ill.

My parents made mirror wills leaving everything to me and 2 brothers, with 3 of us equal executors. Mum died 2010. Dad died 2022. Unfortunately, younger brother got Dad to write new homemade will so was divided between 6 others as well; 9 beneficiaries with another 3 parts to younger brother for expenses and removing me as executor. Parents solicitor left shortly after dad died and new one took over. Bad to worse. Refused to acknowledge any communication from me despite various wrong-doings from brothers. Had to engage solicitor who was totally useless. Misinformed me so instead of will reverting to original homemade will stands. 3 year on and still not got the few £s I will now receive. Brothers refused to let me have anything, not even photos of me or my children, but shared a lot of chattels with the other beneficiaries. Older brother is now homeless and both will literally let their inheritance slip through their fingers. They could have bought a house between them with inheritance and had a substantial sum left. They will find that karma is biting them already.
I will be fulfilling my parents wishes to use my inheritance, such as it now is, to enjoy my life. Anything I leave behind on my demise is going to be divided equally between favourite charities and no family members will be able to challenge my will as all tied up legally. Karma.
DH and I loving life.

YANBU
Let's be honest, most mumsnetters (myself included) live in a (reasonably) affluent bubble.
I want whatever money my mum has to be used to make HER life as comfortable as possible. (My dad died young).
I earned my own money. I worked hard and have made my own financial safety net. It was blo*dy at times, but I did it & I'm proud of that.
I am not looking for an inheritance. I loathe folk who think they are entitled to it.
cue incoming hate in 3-2-1.....

Not a penny inherited. Just worked hard and saved. Still do.

My dad had a brain tumour and and all his care was funded (top private home until we chose to look after him at home with carers 4 times a day). I dint still understand why a terminal illness is funded (not means tested) but dementia etc isn’t.

My children will have a small inheritance when I die PROVIDED it doesn't all have to go on care home fees. It's just based on our house, and life insurance, so the life insurance from whichever one of DH and me outlives the other will go to our children. It won't be masses, but there will be some. We could only buy our house due to inheritance from our parents going towards the mortgage. Every generation the inheritance will get smaller though... as it gets split between more people.

I’m wasn’t expecting a penny. I didn’t get anything (except funeral bills).
my dad had nothing at all and my mum had very little and that all went to my step dad. I will get everything from my step dad but that will hopefully be very little because I’m encouraging him to spend every penny and enjoy what’s left of his life.
I know elderly people that went without heating their house so they had money to leave their family, I’d be ashamed if my parents went without anything just to leave me a bit of money.

Dad didn't make retirement. Everything went to Mum obviously. Her parents left money to her. She declared she was keeping it for her old age.
Which is just as well as every penny is being spent on care home fees. Could be worse, we have worked hard and been lucky with our health/kids health so managed to pay off our mortgage anyway.

@DoAWheelieyour dentist can do it.

We’re pretty similar. We are older boomers, and our DC are in a very different income bracket!

I’m one of the older generation too and got no inheritance. However, my children earn more than I could ever have imagined earning, and have worked their way up the property ladder themselves with no help from anyone. Not all children have been shafted by boomers. They might get an inheritance from me, they might not. But I know they aren’t expecting it.

Exactly; it depends on whether you need it or not.
Lucky are those who don't, but if you do, you pay....other residents may have earned far less, perhaps working in a care home.

Unfortunately, it says it can't be used for proof of ID, apart from voting.

It can feel unfair for those who were frugal and scrimped to buy their home, when other residents who may well have earned more during their lifetime but made different spending choices are paying a fraction of the cost.

We inherited very little, and hoped to pass something on to our family. So much will now depend on whether DH or I need residential care.

This is going to sound horrible but inheritance was recently discussed in our family as my grandfathers health is slowly in decline, he is late 80's, lives on his own, in his own home, but is starting to struggle to manage. I have looked at options for him like him selling up and moving to a retirement community but its too expensive as his house isnt worth more than 180k. My mother and father are looking to emigrate soon, inspite of my grandfathers health and my sister (who lives in the same town as myself and our grandfather) doesn't have a strong relationship with him, doesnt call him or actually visit him. During covid i was his lifeline to the outside world, i cooked almost all his meals, cleaned his home (he went into the garden for me to do this) did his shopping and errands. Now 5 years on and its looking like he will be coming to live with myself, husband and our children. We don't have room right now, but my husband is looking at extending our home to make sure there is room when the time comes. My parents have no desire to look after him, neither does my sister. Its assumed i will take over his care when the time comes and he will move in with us. Now this is the kicker; my parents will get 60% of whatever he has asset wise (house, bank account, insurance ect) my sister and i will both get 20% . . . I am not asking him to contribute towards the room building as it needs to be done for him, the annoying part is that they expect me to full fund him living here and for me to absorb any and all care costs and bill increases to protect 'their' inheritance! I told him, whilst he can, he shoud treat himself to a lovely holiday and visit his other family members to create some memories and, if they are that precious about it, to fund it with whatever money was 'mine' he earnt it, he should be the one to benefit from it! Money makes people turn into horrible creatures!

I was cut out of my parents will and got nothing. Families can be very difficult sometimes.

the council has to price intent to avoid dare home fees.

it is reasonable for a parent to leave everything to their dc. The council would face to be able to prove that the dead parent had good reason to suspect the surviving parent would require care home services and that this was the reason to leave assets to their dc.

this is typically hard to prove. The onus is on the council to prove it

You need photo ID. I don't know how you've got this far without it.

Why aren't you able to get photo ID? Passport, driving licence etc?

My dad inherited a substantial sum from his mother. Even after 7 years of her in a top tier full service nursing home. He has been living on it for over 20 years and plans for there to be nothing left for the state to take.

He has lived at least 15 years longer than he thought but the cash is still enough to sustain a decent lifestyle. His parents were born into absolute poverty and made sure they made enough to give him everything, private education, uni, cars, a house etc. he hasn’t built on it at all, just spent it. But it’s only money.

PILS were the same, born into bad circumstances and made sure DH had a good life. Not as lavish as my dad’s but nice enough. MIL has dementia but is physically healthy so it will all go in care home fees. We’re not bothered, we want her to be comfortable.

DH’s cousin is actively trying to keep their parents out of care homes because of the cost to their inheritance. I think that attitude is pretty nasty.

Have they said why?

OMG, I really cannot start to understand how that diagnosis must make you feel.

"I absolutely think my family would far rather have me than the money."

I totally agree with this.

I hope you don't mind me saying this, but you are likely mistaken on this point:

"Side note, I'm due to inherit in the region of £200k from my parents. If I die before them it will go to my husband."

Unless your parent's will specifically says that if you die before they do then everything goes to your husband then this is not correct.

Where a will contains a gift to a child then, unless the will says otherwise, if the child dies before the parent and that child (ie you) has children of their own who are still alive then those children will inherit in your place.

So, unless your parent's will specifically says that your husband will inherit instead (or anybody else, eg it might go to one of your siblings) then any inheritance from your parents will go to your children in place of you.

If your children are under the age of 18 then they cannot inherit until they are 18. The executors of the will are then responsible for keeping the gift in trust until they reach 18.

I am so, so sorry x

We varied our parents' wills by deeds of variation to pass our shares of their estates to our DC, who need the money for property. We are already nearly 70 and we have a house. The DC will need to wait for the left overs, depending on whether we need care and for how long.