Inheritance

I’ve never received any inheritance as my grandparents on both sides believed my mother and father would be fair and pass on some money to their children. They didn’t 😂

I was not surprised as I know my parents well enough to know what they’re like, I suppose it’s sort of sad that their parents didn’t 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hasn’t upset me though as I never expected anything, I think if you expect something it must sting a lot more.

Only my uncle. He never married. His partner was unpleasant & tried to disinherit her own DC.

However, DF has since found out what's in Uncle's will & has had a go at him, telling him to leave some to his siblings! (Not from me - I'm executor & have a copy of the will so it's confidential - despite DM's creative attempts to get me to let it slip!! 🤣)

Can you get a rail card? Or if you are over a certain age, a bus travel card? Or you can apply for a photo ID to vote. Or you can go to your post office to get an identity card
'Issued by CitizenCard, it's just £15 and accepted as official ID across the UK. Use your Post Office PASS card to prove you're under 16, over 16 or over 18.

I was led to believe I would be inheriting. I did the bulk of the care and worry for 20 odd years.My male sibling influenced my mother and got the lot.

Both my parents had died by the time I was 21, I didn't get a bean. The sense of entitlement on display here at times does amuse me. I remember someone moaning about having to pay inheritance tax, it didn't seem to occur to them to be grateful that a large amount of unearned money had landed in their lap.

I inherited just shy of £20k from an estranged grandparent (all the grandkids did, our parents were bypassed). Both mine and DHs parents are divorced, all home owners, savings etc. So in theory we will inherit a fair amount, as the eldest in both families we are executors for all bar 1 parent. Usual caveat of care home fees etc.

4 grandparents remain (all on my side) into their 90s so I expect my parents to inherit at some point. Given they are both mortgage free some of that may trickle down to me and my siblings.

I appreciate we are in a privileged position. We both work, have good pensions etc. I expect if we do inherit a lot of it will be passed on to our boys. Our parents are relatively young, mid 60s, so I expect them to be around for a long long time and am not banking on anything.

So who should have paid for your Dad's care, in a home that sounds like it cost more than the council would have covered?

Agreed. I lost my dad to cancer and the last few months of his life were horrible, he was in constant pain. If he had died in his sleep overnight in good health, it would have been preferable.

An inheritance would have cushioned the blow for his children and wife.

I always find it’s the people who have an inheritance who say things like they would give it all back for a day with their parents.

On my mum's side there was very little left.

They manage finances very carefully on my dad's side, split between 5 siblings who share responsibility for a disabled relative who has lived in care their whole life.

My parents have given us significant sums, and outlined what they intend to leave us.

I just wish they'd a) have spent a bit more money on fun when we're young - I can earn my own money now, I was under their excessively frugal regime as a child, and b) they'd spend a bit more money enjoying themselves and with us now as adults.

My dad announced a few months ago that he's leaving everything to my brother. I've looked after him and my late mum for years but after my husband died I had to reduce what I did - I just needed time to grieve. He's annoyed that I'm not at his beck and call . All I feel is immense relief - I don't need a penny from him and it's wonderful to have my life back. And no my brother doesn't do much for him either!

I don't think getting an inheritance eases the pain of losing a parent and I say that as someone who has never inherited anything and lost my father quite young. It's not like you have any control over how long your parents live or what your parent's do with their money and the financial decisions they make.

You wouldn't tell someone who's lost a parent and not received an inheritance 'at least you were privileged enough to be born into Western society, so are richer than the majority of the world's population'.

My mother - lives abroad in social housing, there will be nothing to inherit. In fact she's already asserted that she will die owing a lot of money on credit cards.

My father - been totally estranged since 1989. Don't know where he lives, even if he's still alive. No inheritance there, either.

Both parents managed to alienate their respective families decades ago. All grandparents are now deceased, didn't leave anything to either parent or myself and my brothers...didn't expect them to.

My parents have done this. So if one dies & the other subsequently needs to go into a care home only half the house will be used for care fees. The other half is left to the DC by the deceased parent.

It's you who isn't getting what these PPs are saying. I expected that my DP's money would be used in care home fees so I didn't anticipate getting an inheritance and planned accordingly. In the end they died much earlier than expected and mum went very quickly. It left me enough money to retire early and travel, but i would have given back every penny to have had another 10 years with her and her being able to enjoy her own life for longer.

Of course we expect our parents to die before us, it's the nature of the sudden / early / unexpected passing that causes these feelings.

Just had a 6 figure inheritance from my father who passed away recently. DF & DM spent their entire lives being careful with their money. Took every opportunity to tell me what they had even on the occasions where i was struggling to buy food for my household. Never bought birthday or christmas presents for their children or grandchildren. TBH After 16 we never really had much of a relationship at all. There were a few bits of money more recently which were appreciated but didnt in any way make up for lack of contact imo.

I wanted my inheritance as, in my eyes it was the pay off for the lack of family for the last 35 years. If thats cold then so be it.

Give my DF his dues, over his dead body was he going in a home. He fought every illness to the end and every second he spent in hospital was a second too much in his eyes. He signed himself out multiple times against the doctors wishes. He was abusive to nurses and even though he shouldnt have been sent home, they couldnt overide his wishes.

Last couple of months we got him private healthcare at home and he passed away relatively peacefully, dosed up on morphine.

TBH i will not be like my DF but i totally understand the battle he had for the last 12 months to ensure his money wasnt swallowed up. I would probably do the same.

I received £1k from my grandmother and £65k from my dad. I would have preferred to keep dad obviously as he died young.

Can be chicken and egg if you need to pay to get it / no driving lisence ? Passeport or a notary to sign your ID isn’t cheap

Be worth getting some photo ID then

This. I won’t inherit anything but I’ll still see my DM die.

Those saying they don’t want to pay for their own care - who do they think should pay for it?

I got high blood pressure. It’s the same as a load of money isn’t it?

& the above (I think) assumes that those in care homes at 80/85 are different people to those in care homes at 90 (which they may be but equally may not be)

I always joke the only think I am likely to inherit from my parents is debt . Luckily I am financially more stable than they ever have been.

Nowt here. Grandparents had 9 and 8 dcs respectively and did not own their own homes. My parents died before house price inflation leaving very little, and the pil both got dementia. They galloped through in turn £600k in care home fees. When fil died he was under the £23k threshhold, but he had left instructions for a very costly funeral which dh&siblings honoured - so basically about £1k was left which paid for a big family meal.