Inheritance

We'll be quite well off when all of my in-laws pass. There won't be anything from my parents.

This is true.

Part of the reason people get so aggressive about inheritances these days is often it is the only route for them to afford secure housing.

Everyone should be able to afford decent housing without having to inherit in order to do so.

Where people get caught out is when they give away the assets or set up a lifetime trust at a time when there is a reasonable expectation that they may need care i.e they don’t do it early enough. Personally I plan to spend as much as I can (I don’t have kids).

What really gets up my nose is people (I see it quite a lot) asking how they can protect parents’ assets (house and/or savings) from care costs - in other words, they want to fiddle it so that the taxpayer picks up the tab.

In reality, they don’t seem to realise that investigations into deprivation of assets will be very thorough - anyone who thinks it’s going to be easy is sadly deluded.

Both mine and DH's parents were poor and rented. No inheritance from either side, I paid for my parent's funerals. Doing well enough now and able to help our DC buy a property. It pisses me off that everyone I know got a hefty sum and take it for granted.

Nothing coming to me and the same for my children.

I didn't inherit anything from my grandparents, apart from a tea pot and some costume jewellery. My dh has inherited from his parents, who in turn inherited from theirs. Potentially I might inherit something from mine but I don't expect anything. It's their money to do with what they want.

It's not a case of letting them live there. It was stipulated in the will that the house cannot be touched as long as they are alive and want to live there.
However, even if it wasn't written in, we absolutely would not have made them move out. We are a very close family and our Aunt died much younger than expected, and no doubt expected to outlive the two relatives living in the house. Unfortunately life is crap sometimes and doesn't go to plan!

My paternal grandfather is (was) in Kiiv and there is probably not much left from trying to manage during war. Other grandfather gave everything to his son by second marriage, didn't even mention my mom in his will.

My grandmother is likely to need care, so I don't expect anything.

My other grandmother didn't even pass on her set of bells which I really wanted as a memory from my childhood (not valuable or anything)

I’m sorry for your loss, but plenty of people’s parents drop dead far too young without anything to leave. It’s not an either/or.

I have inherited and stand to inherit more, but I find the situation we have today very worrying. People who say 'But it's only right that if you need care, you pay for it yourself if you can afford it' aren't entirely wrong. But equally, it feels wrong that younger generations' financial stability/security of housing is dependent on the double lottery of having parents who have accumulated wealth to pass on and who have avoided health problems that require a care home. Personally, I'd like to see a much higher tax on inheritance, to be put towards the cost of providing decent care for the elderly, and to make access to housing more meritocratic again. People on here say again and again that you can't rely on inheriting because you don't know what will be left after care home fees. Let's just take the uncertainty away and level the playing field a bit.

Everyone expects to have great care in their old age, while having 100ks sitting in the bank and valuable houses. They expect society (ie everyone else) to pay for the care while they pass hundreds of thousands on to their kids.

Of course if anyone proposes raising inheritance tax to pay for this care the same people go berserk.

Who are the relatives living in the house? It's nice of you to let them live there.

That's rather scary, OP. I gather great strides are being made in Alzheimer's research. Perhaps some of us should give some of our inheritance money / savings to the Alzheimer's Society.....

I got £500 from my late DNana and £2000 from the estate of my late DGran, which we put in savings for DS. I expect my parents house to be sold to pay for their care and their money to go on that, and that’s fine with me. I want them having the best care possible and I’d rather they were around to enjoy their lives for decades yet. My DPs have never had much financially anyway.

DH’s parents have earned well and lived in a cheap part of the country but always spent everything on holidays and home renovations. They paid for the boys rent at university, but no house deposit help to us (except a £12k loan) and no help with our weddings etc. though they’ve saved BIL thousands on childcare costs by babysitting two days a week and I expect anything they do have left will go on holidays and their own care when the time comes. And that’s fine, it’s their money and frankly not my business and we’re not entitled to it.

We are saving for our own DCs and going without a bit to ensure we can help with house deposits/weddings/uni costs etc.

I had an inheritance but not from parents and not expected. An aunty with no children passed away and left her house to me and my sister. She lived abroad in a house she owned with 2 family members and the stipulation is that we can do nothing to the house while any named family members are living in it. There was no inheritance tax as such, but a transfer of deeds fee had to be paid as a percentage of the house value. My Aunt was cash poor, so my sister and I are now in some debt due to the property value being high. If we hadn't paid we would have lost the house and made other family members homeless. My parents have no assets and are also cash poor. Due to the age of the family members still living in the home, my sister and I are unlikely to see much benefit but our children should be ok.
Whilst I really appreciate what my aunt did, it has unfortunately left me and my sister financially worse off!

If anyone really thinks waiting on an inheritance, getting furious when it doesn't go your way etc is a Mumsnet thing, try reading some Charles Dickens novels.

I was very lucky in that I inherited from my parents (only child), didn't need to put it into property as I was living in my partner's (now husband's) house, so most of it was invested. Another relative died last year and left me half her estate (quite substantial), but I have come to learn that money certainly doesn't guarantee you happiness. I would much rather have my lovely parents and aunt back with me.

Thing is, the money needed to care for our parents in later life needs to come from somewhere. There's no ideal solution, but either it comes from our parents (sale of home / savings) or from the state. And where does the state's money come from? Us, of course. When my beloved FIL died, everything went to our SIL. We were glad, as she'd had a hard life and we are comfortably off. All my father's money is currently being swallowed up in care home fees - but it's a wonderful care home and he's so happy there. He worked so hard all his life and he deserves to have as comfortable a life as possible. (I love him to bits and am so happy he's happy. I'd have him to live with us, but we'd have to move house and he needs access to 24 hour nursing care).

I am not expecting anything from my parents, they aren't in good health and don't seem to be trying to do anything about it. However, I'm finding it hard not to be jealous of my brother, him and SIL have just inherited a lot of money, at least £300K from a parent, they are already high earners. The other parent is still living, in an expensive care home, but her parents were very well off, and savvy with money so that's not an issue.

I guess I just feel sad that I'd divorcing due to my STBExH being a lying cheater and my brother is living a life of luxury through no hard work of his own.

I have no idea if I will ever inherit any money or not. Depends if my parents need residential care towards the end of their lives I guess - with my two siblings likely to still be living abroad when that time comes, I’m thinking residential care is likely because I can’t do any caring that might be needed alone.

I don’t like to think about it anyway.

I didn’t get (or expect) anything from parents or grandparents. My DS received a lump sum and child pension when his DF died suddenly, he was only 11 at the time so I’ve been investing that for him. I’ve been topping up accounts for him (as far as T&Cs allow) in a bid to keep inheritance tax (and it’s paperwork!) down for him…but need to look at it all again when pensions fall into inheritance tax from next year. I acknowledge it’s a ‘nice’ problem to have.

I was very fortunate. Our late parents’ home passed to me and my sister. With my share I was able to get my son on the housing ladder