Inheritance

Sadly, it’s estimated 70% of people in care homes in the UK have dementia. By its very nature, you cant go to Dignitas as you won’t be seen as having the mental capacity to consent.

The UK assisted dying bill also left out those with dementia.

Unfortunately you cant guarantee being able to hop on that plane at the appropriate time or that you will be accepted for help when you get there.

"Broadly speaking, Articles 114 and 115 of the Swiss penal code have been interpreted to mean that assisted deaths can only be provided to those who are:

• Mentally competent and who have given considerable consideration to their wish
• Are physically capable of ending their lives themselves
• Have constant and unbearable (physical or mental) suffering with no prospect of improvement
• Have been confirmed by a physician, as having no reasonable alternative to reduce their suffering.

Rather than going into a home people could choose a one way ticket to Switzerland if they want to keep the estate intact. Easy for me to say now as I've got probably 3 decades before it's a likely decision, but I think I'd rather have a nice party, say goodbye and then hop on a plane to Dignitas and know my kids wouldn't have to watch my sad decline.

Because of the unique way Ireland works as a tax haven it has the luxury of being able to afford to cap care home fees as it is making out like a bandit on all the corporation tax from the multinationals who came there on sweetheart deals. The UK doesn't get a single cent in corporation tax from the likes of Google/Meta etc. because they profit shift to Ireland. This is why Ireland can't decide whether to pay off its national debt or set up a sovereign wealth fund with its massive budget surplus. The UK doesn't have that luxury we are adding to our debt massively each year and so the state can't afford to bail people out.

If it is a Mumsnet thing then I think it just says something about the MN demographic in general.
My parents spent their lives trying to get back on their feet after the war, bringing up 4 children while living on a single wage (because they wanted to have one parent at home with the children while they were growing up) and providing us with the best life they could while paying bills, rent etc.
They only had about £1000 to leave each of us and we didn't expect any more.
I think things are harder especially for the latest generation reaching adulthood, so we are set on helping them get the right career path to be able to support themselves (or in the case of our neuro diverse young people, trying to ensure they have the stability and support they need).
Just leaving money will not help them manage life's challenges, in fact it is likely to create more situations for them to be vulnerable.

Honestly a lot of people on minimum wage will never be able to save and thats incredibly sad.

They work harder than a lot of people on much more that I know.

The reality is not every one can have a rich career. Our society wouldnt work.. but they should still be entitled to care.
As with people who CANT work.

Im totally with you. I admire anyone who goes out and works whatever they do. Its the ones who cant be arsed that make my blood boil.

The government has massive problems in the future due to the ageing population and the fact that fewer workers are supporting each retired person. This is already evident in Japan, Italy etc. The numbers behind this are startling. The universal cradle to grave support will never last

At the moment there are not that many people who have never worked, but moving forward, how many do you think there will be? Look at the statistics, in another twenty/ thirty years the government of the day might not have the options they have today because there will be so many people who have never worker.
Like I said before, I understand that a lot of people have worked and not been able to save for various reasons, they should be well looked after, they have contributed regardless of not having the means to save etc. it’s the people who don’t work, won’t work I’m objecting to.

My mum unfortunately has nothing to give me when she goes.

My dad i haven't spoken to in years but from what ive been told has spent all his on his new wife and 5+ holidays a year!

Grandparents didnt have much. Left everyone about £2k each

I was lucky to be able to save a deposit for my house myself - was bloody hard and its getting even harder so I feel for the younger generation.

Im happy at least I should hopefully be able to leave something for DS but who knows. Care is incredibly expensive and only getting worse.

You need to show that you’re dependent in some way on the inheritance you’ve missed out on to contest a will. If you have financial means available to you, you’re not likely to succeed.

TBF there aren't many people who haven't worked all their lives, most people who have their care funded by the state were working on low incomes and just didn't accumulate any wealth. Apparently around 50% of the population have less than a couple of grand saved.
Anyhow what is the alternative, they should be euthanised, turned out on the street? You'd probably find that they would just end up in the hospitals which just shifts the problem.
We live in a society with socialised care and medicine, if you don't want that, I guess the only alternative is to move country as currently all political parties in the UK support that.

At great expense and mental cost. Not necessarily worth it. Sometimes it's best to let it go.

More like shafted by all. Tale as old as time isn't it.x

How on earth do family members get parents to change their wills in their favour? Sounds like taking advantage of a vulnerable parent or coercion. It seems to have happened a lot on here! Surely the ones left out can contest it.

I got £50K when my mum died. I was in my 50s. It's funded two kids to university (paying for their accomodation for three years each while their student loan covers their living costs) plus a new boiler, a modest holiday for us all and minor repairs to the roof.

All very useful, but not a sum that changed our lives or allowed us to live mortgage free or anything. I'd still rather have had more years with my mum.

MIL will live forever. Probably outlive me. Her own mum was 103 when she died.

My dad died when I was a baby and his estate was inherited by his wife (still legally married) and their son. My mum died and my sister had convinced her to change her will so she got it all. My grandparents were all deceased before my dad. So nope. No inheritance here

I think it’s more the cost of the care that’s the problem, although I don’t think there’s a solution.

But then your parents would have to die young g enough for you to retire early. I know someone who is now 75. Their DF is 97 Good job she wasn't relying on inheritance from him to retire early

For goodness sake, read what people write. I said before that there is a big difference between people who choose not to work and those that can’t! And yes, for those people who have chosen not to work or contribute to society, there should be the very minimum of care. That would free up money to provide for people who are disabled etc, and those that have worked and contributed.

The whole issue of equitable funding needs to be sorted. You can’t just back an unfair system as it’s better than nothing.

The system needs to be rooted in personal consumption, no direct subsidies for council funded places, no taking 100% of a house that is only owned 50%, no financial benefit to order of death/need for care.

On that last one, couple 1, person A needs care and person B is alive. House not taken into account. Person A dies in care, person b then dies at home. Result. Estate intact. Couple 2. Person A dies. Person B goes into care. Result. Estate lost. Both couple have the same assets, the same care needs and spend yet one family comes out with nothing and one with an intact estate. How is that fair??? As I said, I don’t mind paying for my own care. I just don’t want paying for my own care to mean I pay for someone else’s whether that is the person in the next room, or my partners.

The amount of money a self-funder has to pay is huge - at least £70k per year. That is the minimum. And ideally for such a huge amount of money I would want to stay in a luxurious home, not propping up state finders in that same home, but that’s a fantasy. So I’ll take my chances and spend as much as I can when I can and plan accordingly EARLY.

Where do you propose the money comes from then ?

Because it has to come from somewhere.

As for people that haven't worked and saved, that is a philosophical question, whether you believe that only people that work and saved should be entitled to benefits or end of life care.

There are lots of reasons why people may have not managed to save during their life. For example, there are a lot of people that have not worked or saved who had zero chance of doing that during their lives to various disabilities or medical problems they have had. How should their care be paid for ? Or should they not receive any at all ?

If there is one thing that is really unfair for many people its being born unable to work through severe disability. The "unfairness" of having to pay more tax pales into insignificance compared to this.

the reality is that the division between ‘private’ and council funded places is not that clear
Yes, self funders or council people might end up in the sane home but the difference after that can be huge.

My grandmother self funded. She had a huge room with a small terrace and view of the sea. Her room was freshly painted, the bathroom was lovely and spacious. She got the hairdresser weekly as part of the fee, and could order special meals. She was able to attend free activities with transport included.

The council funded were all in a different wing, darker and smaller rooms, old furniture, no terrace etc...They might have well been in different buildings and I know which part I'd like to reside in later in life if it comes to it.

My father lay on his death bed and said " You'll get all of it"

Didn't pan out that way.

People aren't necessarily grasping expecting an inheritance to come their way. Often relatives dangle it like a carrot promising that you will be alright when we go.
Ex husband and his sister had been promised money from a cottage which had been their grandads parents. He predeceased his mother and when she eventually died the money went to ex husband's father which the grandparents hadn't wanted to happen (their abusive son). But that was the law.
So when the father died a couple of years after receiving this substantial sum they thought there would be a bit left as he hasn't handed them any.
But no we had to pay for the funeral he'd spent the lot on women cars and booze and died in a stupor. When everything was sorted out we received a refund on his gas and electric as he had been topping it up over the summer ready for winter it worked out about £400 each. But it had cost us more to clear his flat of his piss soaked furniture and carpets before another week's rent was due! And a mate of his had been in the flat already taking some good bits then saying how he had gifted them to him.