I hate my DSD

I've read all your posts and each one makes me feel sorrier for your step- daughter.

Whatever the situation is with the 15yo, the OP, as an adult, is coming across as equally toxic and awful. I've read this thread with my jaw on the floor. What a mess. As a single parent I will never bring anyone into my DC's home to bring about this level of dysfunction.

Does that mean her and her younger children should put up with an unlimited amount of abuse and harm? What a ridiculous notion.

But he was part of a scenario that has created this current dynanic

Can't see the word "neglect" there.
Even if everything you followed up with is just as you say, and she is the Spawn of Satan, and you have every right to give up on her, there is nothing to go on in your OP.
Just an anonymous adult hating an anonymous child (age yet to be determined).

Sorry you’re having such a difficult time Op. I can’t imagine the situation that you’re in but I hope you have the opportunity to live apart with your dc and try to continue to make a go of things with your husband. It seems like this is the logical next step and you can see where it goes from there. How easy will it be to do? Not sure if you own house together, money situation, affordability etc? Sounds like the sooner you sort this out the better.

I don’t see anything wrong with living apart for 3 years till she leaves home.
potential benefits are she gets one to one attention from Dad. Your kids will experience peace for the first time in their lives, and you don’t have to worry about them being removed if she makes more allegations. You will get the respite you need from her. The potential problem is your children missing their dad but he can still take them out.
I work with teenagers and understand the difficulties. There is some interesting literature that it’s worth looking up about child on parent abuse. There’s still a lot of stigma around the topic as you can see from this thread.

It must have been horrendous and I'm sorry you had to go through that but OP situation id's very different.
A child in the household contacted them not an outside adult. They have to take that very seriously as they should.
It is a massive cry for help and even if SD had made everything up that actually points to a very troubled and unhappy chilld.
The unfortunate result is that instead of being emotionally adult enough to realise that the OP has seen it as the SD being vindictive and has made the situation very much worse.
Im not saying its not hard to be angry with her SD of course you would be but the responses from OP of the visceral hate of her SD in her replies show an adult step parent who is absolutely not safe to be around the SD now.
I'm sure SS would agree it's not in her best interests to live with a step parent that hates them!
OP needs to have a proper sit down talk with her partner and be honest about her feelings towards his Daughter and see if they can carry on the relationship with that level of toxicity.
It cannot be a healthy environment for any of the children nto be honest.

You KNEW your partner had a child when you got with him. You chose to marry him regardless and are now moaning about the stepchild 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m not surprised she’s acting up when her stepmum hates her, poor thing. People like this are precisely why stepmums have such a bad rap. Awful.

Yes, op, you must remember the child.

You chose this family set-up; she didn't.

Take some responsibility.

I don’t think that until or unless you have been through an indepth social services investigation you can understand the level of invasiveness, the fear of judgement, the fear that you may lose your children for something someone has accused you of. Ours took over 3m. They went to our children’s school, they spoke to form tutors, the deputy head, the head of pastoral care; they spoke to our GP and anyone we had interacted with with concern over our child - our CAMHS caseworker, the CAMHS psych, etc. Both children were interviewed by a stranger alone in their bedrooms, which were inspected as was our entire house, and we were not allowed to be there or even nominate another adult that they knew to be with them. And this was just for ‘misgendering’ my child in a conversation with a person whose identity we still do not know. But they reported us. No accusations on the part of the child concerned, no accusations of actual abuse and neglect.

It was beyond harrowing and if I ever find out who put my family through that - including the vulnerable child they claimed to be concerned with - I am not sure I could contain my anger.

So I think there needs to be some understanding that -whatever the underlying motives of OP’s SD - it is a cruel and invasive process that is very upsetting to all family members, the children and parents alike. It is harmful in and of itself when there is no underlying justification for it. And yes, I totally accept claims that there are children who are at risk need to be investigated, and before it happened to me I would have been the loudest to shout this (visions of Victoria Clombie and other tragic child victims will never leave me) but being the subject of that investigation is bloody traumatic.

The SD sounds ghastly and the OP is clearly at the end of her tether.

"Not a strange post at all, just a response to the people who still think this behaviour is excusable"

I'm not saying it should be excusable I'm showing you REASONS why she has behaved this way.
She may well have contacted SS as another poster said so she could go back and live with her Mum but you have chosen to see it as vindictive towards you and now you hate her.
Obviously you are never going to be a safe adult with your partners daughter now so you need to think about your next moves.
Does her Dad actually know how much you hate her?
I couldn't possibly be put in that situation with my child, it's effectively making him choose.
You need a cooling off period of seperation to say the least.

Do you think social media is encouraging her to feel sorry for herself? There's so much trash on there about toxic this and toxic that.

She’s still a child though who’s clearly fighting a loosing battle living someone who admittedly hates her. If her mother is a waste of space as you said and you can’t stand her then it’s up to her dad to step up and choose his child. Probably why she is this way if she’s got nobody on her side.

Are YOU mental? You are a bloody adult. A parent.

I think you're in need of an urgent break from the situation. Perhaps you and your two DC could have a short holiday (at half term?) and then decide whether to leave the situation permanently.
Is it possible your DSD contacted Social Services not to cause you trouble but hoping they'd send her back to live with her mother, or perhaps find a foster family for her? She sounds very mixed up and unhappy.

Yes poor child.
I do feel sorry for the poor child as per the reasons I put in my post and those are probably just scraping the surface of the dysfunction and disruption in her life aged just 13.
Why on earth wouldn't you feel sorry for a young teenager having to deal with so much change and disruption?
Very strange post🙄

Well yes @arethereanyleftatall, we know that. But this is pretty extreme.

And the next wife might feel the same

So not a straightforward seperation