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Original poster

Was I wrong to say it’s inappropriate for her to ask for my number?

214 replies

Ishoulddomore · 13/10/2025 21:01

I was at a wedding today and the drink flowed a little.

The daughter of along time friend asked me for my number. I’ve known her for years and she hasn’t asked me before. She’s 23 and I’m 49. I said no and told her it’s inappropriate as she can ask her dad how I’m doing or to arrange a group meet up. Not sure why else she would want my number.

The thing is I think I’ve upset her by suggesting something that I don’t think she meant. She’s had issues in the past and I didn’t mean her any upset.

Did I do the right thing or was I unreasonable?

OP posts:
DiscoBob · 13/10/2025 21:09

It's deeply bizarre for you to call it 'inappropriate' unless something terrible to do with court cases or something to do with families not being allowed to speak for safeguarding reasons?

If not you should've just probably used another reason not to give it. Why not just say, I'll take your number? Is there a strong reason why you don't want her to have it?

Lilyhatesjaz · 13/10/2025 21:08

Are you a man? I think that makes a difference in this case as you wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable speaking separately to your friends daughter.

RocketLollyPolly · 13/10/2025 21:08

Not unreasonable for her to ask. Not unreasonable for you to refuse.

What is unreasonable is you suggesting she did something inappropriate. She didn’t.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 13/10/2025 21:06

Why would it be inappropriate for her to ask?

It would be inappropriate to ask for your GP's mobile, or your child's teacher. Not for a family friend.

It might've been nicer to say, "I'm changing my number soon / don't remember my own phone no offhand - but I'm in a WhatsApp group with your dad..."

JulietSierra · 13/10/2025 21:05

I don’t understand why you told her she was being inappropriate? Of course you’re well within your rights to decide who you give your number to but why was it inappropriate for her to ask??

JLou08 · 13/10/2025 21:05

That was pretty cold. I don't see how it's inappropriate for her to ask for your number. If you don't like her you don't have to give her your number but there was no need to say it was inappropriate. I think a lot of people would be upset and feel rejected if someone they felt they got on well with said what you did.

OrangeAxolotyl · 13/10/2025 21:05

Did you think she was coming on to you?
Was this out of the blue, with no conversation?

Mooselooseinmyhoose · 13/10/2025 21:05

I think context is key here! Is there a reason she might want you number which isnt suggestive? For example are you a plumber and shes just bought a house, or similar.

What did she say immediately before asking for you number?

If there is no reason to ask for your number then I think you the right thing in stepping back and pointing out its inappropriate.

IvedoneitagainhaventI · 13/10/2025 21:04

I'm struggling to see why this is inappropriate.
But I agree with pp that you only give your number to people you want to have your number

Hadalifeonce · 13/10/2025 21:03

Of course you don't have to give out your number, but it's not unreasonable for her to ask.

FuzzyWolf · 13/10/2025 21:03

You don’t have to give out your phone number to anyone that you don’t want to have it but I can’t figure out why it would be inappropriate for her to know it.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 13/10/2025 21:03

Not unreasonable to not give her your number, but it was unnecessary and rude to suggest she’s being inappropriate based on one simple question.

DinaofCloud9 · 13/10/2025 21:03

You don't have to give her your number but why did you tell her it's inappropriate?

MN2025 · 13/10/2025 21:02

You don’t have to give your phone number if you don’t want to!