Was I wrong to say it’s inappropriate for her to ask for my number?

If this is real, then I think you need to be honest with yourself about why this has taken up so much headspace.

I also think you’re being disingenuous about it all or are genuinely naive.

Read all your updates and, initially, assumed you were a female poster so didn’t understand the ‘inappropriate’ comment. However, yes, given you are male, she is young and it made you feel uncomfortable, there was nothing wrong with stating that you felt her asking for your number crossed a boundary for you. It’s not your problem that she got upset (isn’t that DARVO? She made you feel uncomfortable, you asserted a boundary, but suddenly that makes her the victim of some perceived slight?)

You, like anyone else, like women, are allowed to have boundaries. We’re also not under any obligation to be ‘kind’ in asserting those boundaries - but you hardly told her to eff off, did you?

Honestly, I’d put it behind you.

You say you're not a catch but it's in the eye of the beholder really.

I've had a hefty surgical procedure and have been getting ferried about in NHS transport. One of the blokes that does this for me would look at himself in the mirror and see a fat alcoholic Scotsman and not a catch at all but I fancy the arse of him and I can't really square with myself why.

I think you did the right thing. Stop worrying about it. A lot of the weirdness on here is because you didn't make it clear from the outset you were a bloke. Most posters on here are women so we sort of assume that until we know different but welcome all the same.

Jesus these replies are ridiculous.

You're married. A drunk woman was being clingy, touchy and asking for your number. You said no.

Of course it's not a good idea for her to be messaging you. Her father, mother, your wife, her boyfriend would be livid and could well think you had nefarious intentions.

You did exactly the right thing.

Yet somehow you're the bad guy here.

Why is there so many men here.this is mumsnet!!!! Go to Reddit and ask your question there.they can all tell you how great you are for not taking a young ladies number!

I’m really shocked at the number of people who have no faith that OP is capable of reading the vibes.
I would be mortified if any of my DH’s or my mates (of similar age) were to give any of my young adult kids their number without a) a bloody good reason or b) going through me. (That way I can check with my kids if it’s okay.) This is how my closest friends have my DS’s number. He occasionally babysits for them. (When they are out with each other…)

Yes, it does actually. I thought you were a woman whose female friend’s daughter asked for your number. I’d see nothing wrong with this, in fact would find it quite charming/heartwarming.

A man whose male friend’s adult daughter asked for their number is very different. You were wise not to give it, but just hashed up the way you refused the request. Lesson learned, I hope!

not unreasonable. You’re drawing a social boundary, which sounds sensible

I think you could have worded it better, but you were right. It wasn’t appropriate.

You could tell her you think it might look odd to give her your number but she’s welcome to contact you through social media (if you want her to be able to).

I did not. I suggested she was vulnerable.
Good, I'm glad you felt my comments was uncalled for, now you know how I felt.
Don't ever make a comment about my DD again.

Very very normal. 😊

I think you could have phrased it better OP, but as you said, the drink was flowing.

My post wasn't aggressive. Nor ridiculous.

Your post to my initial post was unnecessary and your implication that the girl wanted his phone number for nefarious reasons was uncalled for. It's ok for you to imply she is a tramp??

be as irritated as you like, but maybe look at your own posts first.

And your personal attack I am surprised you've anyone special in your life was totally uncalled for.

Why would you open this can of worms with a young woman you admit has been “clingy/huggy” all night with you?? Surely you leave it where it is and think nothing more of it. You seem fixated on the issue of how she could never be into you - but plenty of young women do reach after older male figures. If I was your wife I wouldn’t be too happy about you changing your mind on this.

You said she had no reason to message you beyond just to talk to you. You squashed it. Leave it there. You actually have no reason to message her and the fact you’re thinking so deeply on it is troubling.

That's how I read it, and going against the grain I don't think it's terrible for OP to point out that would be a bit inappropriate - it would be and I imagine might well cause issues with her dad. Perhaps they could have said it a little more tactfully, but we're not always perfect when put on the spot, and IMO there's a difference between saying something would be a bit inappropriate, as OP said, and saying YOU are being inappropriate.

Your ridiculous agreesive response to my post was uncalled for.
Nice, low blow, no my DH is a good man, my DD is not a tramp, the fact you insinuated it based on my response has irritated me.
I am surprised you've anyone special in your life.

I think you may have got different responses if you’d stated you were male in your first post.
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. As you say, if she wanted your number she could always ask her dad.
I think if I was your wife I’d be suspicious of some young woman asking for your number for no reason at all. It sounds like she likes male attention maybe.

I don't think you did anything wrong either @Ishoulddomore. She gave no context to wanting your number so I wouldn't have wanted to give it out either. I know some posters were suggesting it's innocent or maybe she wanted to arrange a 50th party for her dad, or make work connections but surely she would have said that at the time of asking (hey, I am trying to find numbers for all of dad's friends to arrange him a party next year. Please can I have yours. Also do you know Bob and Fred's numbers too).
I think you did the right thing in not giving it and I wouldn't mention it again.

There was nothing wrong with your response. It's inappropriate and she's old enough to know this.

Why are you, a middle aged male, posting on Mumsnet? Surely you’d just ask one of your mates? It’s all a little suspicious to me.

Why are you in a group chat with her in the first place?

I wouldn’t overthink this or apologise. I think your instincts were probably right and it was inappropriate. I also think it’s ok for you to have been honest about that. You were the grown up and your behaviour was consistent with that. It’s not rude to be clear and honest if someone has overstepped a boundary.

You phrased it badly as it does sound like you thought she was coming onto you. But you weren’t wrong in not giving your number. I’d be disappointed / worse if my husband started messaging a woman 26 years younger than him.

But if you’re on group chats, surely she already has access to your number?

I think you’re obsessing over it a bit now though, why is that?

now you have explained further you were not wrong to refuse to give her your number
you should have given the full details in the opening thread.
if she wanted your number for her dad's 50th, she could have explained that at the time.

This 100 times over op you did exactly the right thing I cant understand some of these replies at all