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Original poster

Would this age gap bother you?

95 replies

SoManySock · 13/10/2025 20:14

DD is 17, 18 in a couple of months. She’s in y13.
Her new boyfriend is 19 and has left school.

We don’t know him although have met him a couple of times. Keen to know more so we’ve invited him for lunch in a. Couple of weeks.

DS (20) is absolutely horrified by all this and says the age gap is too big and we should be laying down the law.

Don’t know what to think. It doesn’t seem that big a gap to me, although of course the gap between being at school and not is significant. They only see each other at weekends as live in different towns.

Am I being really slack?

OP posts:
hideawayforever · 14/10/2025 21:06

errr 1 year gap, how ridiculous

Newsenmum · 14/10/2025 20:32

MojoMoon · 13/10/2025 20:16

I would tell your son that his sister's love life is not any of his business and it's creepy he is so bothered by it

Is it that creepy to worru about his sister?

Its not the gap but that hes not at school and she is. I think you should meet him.

Bundleflower · 14/10/2025 20:29

I’m struggling to find the ‘gap’.

Your son needs to mind his own business!

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 14/10/2025 20:28

I’m generally very critical of age gaps, but this is absolutely fine.

Make sure your daughter is clued-up about consent and healthy boundaries in relationships, and that your son realises it’s not his place to policing the relationships of the women in his life.

lolomoon · 14/10/2025 20:27

Not a problem. I’d say if she were under 16 it might be different but it’s really nothing.

PeonyPatch · 14/10/2025 20:26

That’s hardly an age gap at all!!!

RavenhairedRachel · 14/10/2025 20:25

I thought the age gap would be at least 10 years .A year though come on !

LouiseK93 · 14/10/2025 20:23

Its fine lol...

ainsleysanob · 14/10/2025 20:12

I was 18 when my boyfriend was 25! We’ve been together ever since and married for 19 years! It’s absolutely nothing to do with your son!

pinkytime · 14/10/2025 20:07

When i was 19 i hooked up with a 42 year together somewhat for 8 months it was bloody fun.
At 22 i had a boyfriend that was 31.

BaconCheeses · 14/10/2025 20:00

I wouldn't accept my son weighing in on my daughters relationships tbh.

tobee · 14/10/2025 19:56

My nephew is like this! He thinks you should only be in a relationship with someone in your school year. What happens when you leave school and meet someone at work or wherever? Do you have to ask what age someone is before you can have feelings for them?

I think there's some very good things that young people are taught about relationships and consent and control etc. But feel it's got a bit unrealistic for some.

Shesasupergirlbut · 14/10/2025 19:45

Sounds absolutely fine to me. This isn't really an age gap. I started dating my husband when I was at uni, I was 18, he was 27. My parents weren't worried about it because I was an adult. 20 years later, we're going strong.

I think age gaps are an issue usually when there's an imbalance of power, or when someone is young young.

Maybe offer to get to know him a little better so you can put to rest any worries.

LittleMissPidge · 14/10/2025 19:43

No I think its just because she is still in school but he is not. It's not a problem he is just one year older than her. NP

knor · 14/10/2025 19:42

Sounds fine to me. Just over a year between them.

Jumpingthruhoops · 14/10/2025 19:40

When you said 'age gap', I thought you meant 'age gap'! The difference is barely a year. Such a non issue.

shhblackbag · 14/10/2025 19:39

MojoMoon · 13/10/2025 20:16

I would tell your son that his sister's love life is not any of his business and it's creepy he is so bothered by it

Agree. What's it to do with him? It's a perfectly normal age difference.

ACatAsleepInYourHat · 14/10/2025 19:38

Age gap, what age gap? Tell your son to wind his bloody neck in!

Fluffypiki · 14/10/2025 19:31

Bah it is a brother thing, DS (16) was very upset that DD (19) had her boyfriend (20) stay in the house, said it was very inappropriate 🙄🙄 I told him I will remember that when it will be his turn.

vincettenoir · 14/10/2025 19:30

Not a problem.

I’ve heard young people be very judgy about any kind of age gap in a relationship. I guess it’s a reaction to the grim days in the 60s and 70s when grown men regularly dated girls in their teens.

QuickPeachPoet · 14/10/2025 19:27

One year? What is the issue? Does he expect her to date someone whose mum was with you on the maternity ward?

LooseCanyon · 14/10/2025 19:23

Your DS is not horrified by the age gap. He is horrified by the thought of his sister having sex.

Ladamesansmerci · 14/10/2025 19:21

No, he's barely out of school himself. It's not the same as a 17 year old dating a 30 year old. A 30 year old has vastly more life experience and presumably a career etc. There is more of a power imbalance, and I can't imagine what a 30 year old would have in common with a secondary school student.

At 19 though he's still near enough in the same phase of life. It's fine.

Mrsgreen100 · 14/10/2025 19:20

Sounds perfectly normal, I would be cool and
relaxed with it

fratellia · 14/10/2025 19:18

So your DS would never consider dating a 19-year-old since thats a whole year younger than him? or do these weird standards only apply to his sister