I’m so angry at DH

Also suspicious about his quitting story.

Did he get fired and is worried he won't be able to get a new job? Finding it easier to say he'll give up work than admit the truth?

He is far too young to stop working. Given how stretched you were financially in your younger years, I doubt you were both putting away much in your pension back then so both should be putting minimum 20pc of your salary in pension now until retirement age.

FUCK THAT.

My friend's ex did this. Note, he is an ex, who 20 years on is now living in a one-bed rented flat whilst she remains in the family home she bought him out of.

Are you SURE he quit?

This is so selfish and I'd not tolerate it. I'd not be supporting him a penny, he'd have to leave.

The whole idea quitting his job with zero discussion or clue it was about to happen and then telling you he'll be a house husband from now on and see how you like being the sole breadwinner, sounds very off.

Almost like resentment for the times he was at work whilst you were probably bringing up the children and perhaps SAHM at times or part time.. like he saw himself as carrying "the load" - if that's the case then he didn't see your two roles as equal.

He's behaving as if his decision doesn't affect anyone else and it does.

So he’s decided to retired and become a cock lodger?

The two options here is he finds another job or he finds himself single.

To call for a divorce over this without him being given a chance to rectify his massive error is a bit.. fast. Give him a chance, they've been married a long time. If she is happy enough with the rest then surely they both should try? If he refuses point blank, for sure, it's time to think their marriage but he has (finally) done his CV. Only time will tell if he is serious about another job.

Come home tomorrow, say you didn’t like the way someone spoke to you so you’ve quit. Say he inspired you. See what he says.

Op, you have every right to be furious, I would be the same.
How incredibly selfish for him to just make this monumental decision alone, and then quip he can be a house husband.
I would be asking how he is going to support himself. What his plans are to be able to contribute to bills. I’d be making it very clear that you are not bank rolling this mid life crisis of his.
I think I’d be saying he can either grow up, get a job and contribute, or leave.

The neverending work-home-work routine is so bleak that I can definitely understand the temptation of just stopping altogether, but it baffles me that people (especially women!) are okay with putting themselves in such a vulnerable position financially.

I’m not sure how realistic this idea that you can just talk him into getting a job is though.

who just quits and doesn’t consult their partner? Avoidant people, selfish people, stubborn people, or people with a secret (ie they were sacked or similar) emotionally healthy people who you can just sit down and have a good chat with don’t tend to behave like this

I like this! Amusing way to get a serious point over.

Haven’t RTFT so may not be the only person to say this, but interesting how he wants to be a house husband when the kids are adults 🙄

10 years mortgage and will still be paying into the pension pot, he needs to go back to work as soon as possible. Sadly now though at 49, it's going to be harder and there's not many jobs out there.
Am so sorry, he needed to be part of a team with you, including chatting to you before giving up his job.

All this talk of divorce seems a bit severe. He needs to be able to make good of his mistake?

I think it is only fair that both partners contribute equally. It is hard to be the only or main bread winner. I am constantly amazed on here by the number of women who have never gone back to work or only work part time. There was a thread on here recently where a wife was so indignant about her husband asking her to get a job. Only independent teens at home too.
The number of women deciding to give up work in their fifties or earlier has risen sharply in the last few years.
https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/economic-labour-market-status-of-individuals-aged-50-and-over-trends-over-time-september-2025/economic-labour-market-status-of-individuals-aged-50-and-over-trends-over-time-september-2025
One of the key findings being

• the economic inactivity rate for women aged 50 to 64 remains statistically significantly higher, at 30.0% in 2025, when compared to men of the same age (22.0%)

Are you absolutely certain he just quit and didn’t get the sack? It all seems a bit sudden and secret.

There is no point telling him you’ll divorce him or you’ll divorce him in a month or that you’re quitting too.

unless you actually are going to divorce him that’s just a nonsense.

and OP, I would seriously consider divorcing him. Not threatening to get control, just doing it. You could have it sorted in 6 months. He will barely be working by then even if he job hunts now.

Tell him you are happy to live together but you want a divorce as you are not subsidising him or his lack of pension in the future.

I should say “brilliant idea, I’ll do the same” and see how that goes down

OP, time to rethink your marriage, it doesn't sound great.
Get the house valued and on the market.
Don't allow him to drag you down, because he will.

Kick him out

What does he think will happen when he reaches retirement age? He won’t have paid enough to get a full pension. Is he planning on living off you then too?

I agree with others that an ultimatum may be in order.

Lucky for him that his decision to be a house husband coincides with there being no small children that need organising and chivvying and picking up and cleaning up after!

He's got a flipping nerve, unilaterally deciding that he's not going to work any more and just leaving you to 'keep' him just when the rest of the household needs his contribution the least!

That's really selfish of him he should be getting himself another job if he doesn't to then I would end it

He is selfish and reckless walking out of his job like that. Both parties need to agree if one partner wants to stay at home. He needs to get a job asap.