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Original poster

To find 'pet' names unprofessional in CS?

216 replies

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:24

Am I being unreasonable to find the usage of pet names by customer service staff unprofessional?

I am the customer and a stranger, I expect to be treated with respect. My name isn't sweetheart, it isn't love, honey, darling or sweetie.

I think pet names are fine for family members, spouses or CLOSE friends. Am I being unreasonable to think there is a time and a place for such familiarity?

OP posts:
Overthewaytwice · 13/10/2025 18:52

I'm from a part of the country where this is very common and I love it. I think it would be a huge shame to lose this warmth in conversation with strangers.

You were really rude to the person who served you and your husband in the bar.

seaelephant · 13/10/2025 18:51

judging by your attitude towards the bartender, I can only assume you'd prefer 'twat'

SadOldLadyOfTheLowlands · 13/10/2025 18:51

CopperWhite · 13/10/2025 17:28

Your second post makes you sound like a joyless, uptight fun sponge.

Agree

I think the bar tender will not be ops pal

Absentosaur · 13/10/2025 18:48

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

If this is true - do you know that ‘pal’ is often used when a man (usually) is disliked / if the person is unhappy with them?

MaplePumpkin · 13/10/2025 18:46

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

Oh god this is so embarassing!

TheKeatingFive · 13/10/2025 18:45

I live in Dublin. I get called 'love' all the time. It's a nice thing. Relax.

buffybots · 13/10/2025 18:45

Also if a customer is sobbing down the phone to me because she just lost her husband, me saying lovely is the equivalent of an arm around her, and I would do that for anyone upset
you do pick up what people prefer within minutes of speaking to them and good customer service is adapting

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 13/10/2025 18:43

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

That didn't happen.

buffybots · 13/10/2025 18:42

Notagain75 · 13/10/2025 17:42

In the North where I live everyone is love, pet, duck or some other endearment
There is so much in life to get upset about I can't be offended unless it is said in an offensive way

Edited

yep. My grandad calls everyone cocker
doesn't matter who you are, he will be (usually bellowed out) “alreet cocker?”

grumpygrape · 13/10/2025 18:40

Don’t ever visit Sheffield/South Yorkshire where even the blokes call each other ‘Love’ or ‘Duck’. I did a bit of a double take the first time I heard them between blokes but I soon realised it was usual. As others have said, in the NE everyone is ‘Pet’ or ‘Hinny’ and in the SW ‘My lover’, in London you could be called Cock or Cocker.

Perhaps a larger size of knickers would help you relax a bit ?

UsernameMcUsername · 13/10/2025 18:32

Octavia64 · 13/10/2025 18:24

In the south east:

most people have your attitude.

in the North and south west:
get over yourself.

Yes, just...live in the south-east? Which is by total coincidence the most joyless unfriendly British region 😬

ShiftingSand · 13/10/2025 18:31

Thewalrusandthecarpenter · 13/10/2025 17:37

I like it in general - it’s friendly. There’s a scene in No More Meadows, by Monica Dickens, as Christine is leaving the UK for the US, post WWII, and someone calls her “ducks” and she wonders when she’ll hear that again.

Monica Dickens’ books are great 😊

Absentosaur · 13/10/2025 18:26

Would you prefer Treacle?

Jeschara · 13/10/2025 18:25

"If I was the bartender I’d be thinking you were uptight or a prick to be honest."
What a nasty unpleasant person you are. I was called my lovely once in a telephone call. I thought nothing of it. You are missing something in life, as you look, and choose, to be offended.
As for what you said when the bartender called your husband pal, words fail me. It was for your husband to say something not you.

Octavia64 · 13/10/2025 18:24

In the south east:

most people have your attitude.

in the North and south west:
get over yourself.

YonderTweek · 13/10/2025 18:23

I like it if I get called "lover" (I'm in the SW), and I bloody love "sweetheart". 😍Depends on who says it or how it's said but I like terms of endearment. Just makes interactions a little bit more human.

BusMumsHoliday · 13/10/2025 18:23

Marylou2 · 13/10/2025 17:43

I used to go to the Stoke/Staffordshire area for work and if someone didn't call me "me duck" I felt personally aggrieved. I adore a regional term of endearment. Usually love/lovely near me. Calling your husband Pal sounds quite Scottish/Glasweigan. I mean it's in a bar not at a solicitors.

Came here to say this about Stoke! I lived there for a bit, and I really miss being called "duck". Friendliest place I've ever lived.

I really can't get upset about this. It's usually clear if someone is using eg "sweetheart" in a condescending way. Most of the time "love", "darlin'", etc are just being warm and friendly.

popcornandpotatoes · 13/10/2025 18:22

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

Oh wow that's embarrassing

evilharpy · 13/10/2025 18:19

A lady at work calls me "flower". She's a lovely person. A Brummie chap at a car rental firm I use occasionally calls me "Bab". He is also a lovely chap. Neither of them are being patronising. Never would have occurred to me to be offended by this. I think only the professionally and perpetually offended could find it within themselves to be upset at being referred to as "Flower".

ExtraOnions · 13/10/2025 18:18

In this neck of the woods people use “cock” and “cocker” - you would have a meltdown.

BoredZelda · 13/10/2025 18:14

AllJoyAndNoFun · 13/10/2025 17:46

Come down and see us in Dorset, my lover! 🤣

I think it’s fine in informal settings like bars, trades etc

where there’s a more formal or serious vibe like teacher- parent, or doctor- patient I’d be a bit taken aback.

This was the one that sprang to my mine. I love it!

EmeraldShamrock000 · 13/10/2025 18:13

Well they would not use endearing responses, if they knew you personally. They'd know that you aren't a sweetheart.

itsgettingweird · 13/10/2025 18:11

Lord and lady Uptheirownbumingtons

Thats genius 🤣🤣🤣🤣

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 13/10/2025 18:11

I'm happy with it, generally.

"Love" is usual in my area. But there was a point in time when "love" became "dear" - signifying the onset ol old age. 😓

whattheysay · 13/10/2025 18:10

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

Are you this joyless and uptight in all areas of your life or just in bars

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