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Original poster

To find 'pet' names unprofessional in CS?

216 replies

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:24

Am I being unreasonable to find the usage of pet names by customer service staff unprofessional?

I am the customer and a stranger, I expect to be treated with respect. My name isn't sweetheart, it isn't love, honey, darling or sweetie.

I think pet names are fine for family members, spouses or CLOSE friends. Am I being unreasonable to think there is a time and a place for such familiarity?

OP posts:
AutumnCosy2025 · 13/10/2025 23:53

KrystalStubbs · 13/10/2025 18:55

I quite like terms of endearment - 'darling', 'sweetheart' and the like. What I feel uncomfortable with (and I realise I'll be in the minority) is complete strangers in customer service addressing me by my first name the first time we speak. I'm old enough to remember when professionals called me Mrs Surname - using my first name seems too familiar somehow.

And I hate it when they call me (Mrs, incorrectly. That's my Mum) Surname or Madam.

I have a name, use it please! Ir call me love, pet, whatever.

AutumnCosy2025 · 13/10/2025 23:39

Notagain75 · 13/10/2025 17:42

In the North where I live everyone is love, pet, duck or some other endearment
There is so much in life to get upset about I can't be offended unless it is said in an offensive way

Edited

its been too long since someone called me 'pet'. I think I need to make some phone calls tomorrow.

AutumnCosy2025 · 13/10/2025 23:32

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

you're hard work

those things you listed aren't 'pet names'.

Andthatrightsoon · 13/10/2025 23:28

Come to Devon where you'll be called 'Me lover' by a 6-ft hairy biker. It's great. Lighten up, OP.

CarpetKnees · 13/10/2025 23:01

Top tip @BigFatBully - don't come to Birmingham and run the risk of some friendly soul calling you 'Bab' Grin

IamMummyhearmeROAR · 13/10/2025 22:47

As a teacher of young children I call them
all sorts of terms of endearment - ‘my love’ probably being my most frequently used. I know for a fact that for some, I am the only person in their life who refers to them with fondness.

CheeseWisely · 13/10/2025 22:42

Zov · 13/10/2025 22:22

Treacle? 😆 So cute! That's what Den used to called Sharon in Eastenders!

Show quote history

Years ago I worked in a pub and a particular regular customer would always call me Treacle (or Tweacle in his accent). Loved it.

Summerlovin40 · 13/10/2025 22:41

Your username says it all...

CheeseWisely · 13/10/2025 22:40

Nah, I love a term of endearment. I’m from Yorkshire so Love and Sweetheart are as common and acceptable as ‘Mrs Wisely’ to me. A world entirely devoid of humanity and warmth would be a very sad place to live.

Zov · 13/10/2025 22:37

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/10/2025 22:26

It’s only ok if they are old and or northern

🙄

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/10/2025 22:26

It’s only ok if they are old and or northern

Zov · 13/10/2025 22:22

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 13/10/2025 19:05

Oh this thread has reminded me of two of my customers, one calls me 'flower' and the other calls me 'treacle'! I love it! Makes me feel as though I'm part of an actual community, not just someone standing behind a till selling stuff. Like I'm 'seen' in an odd kind of way.

I do hate it when someone I've never seen before reads my name badge and uses my name every other word in conversation. That sounds vaguely threatening, somehow.

But treacle... any day!

Treacle? 😆 So cute! That's what Den used to called Sharon in Eastenders!

Zov · 13/10/2025 22:15

Rarely happens to me, and I can't say it bothers me when it does. I like being called love, sweetie, or darlin' by customer service staff. It creates a friendly vibe. Each to their own though eh?

@BigFatBully · Today 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

I have second hand embarrassment. Did you really say this?! 🙈 I bet you have The Council neighbourhood complaints number on speed-dial, and your local MP's, and 101 too.

RaininSummer · 13/10/2025 22:14

I think you are being a joyless tit to be honest.

ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 13/10/2025 22:11

Doesn't really bother me, mate. It's alright to use these names as regional language, love, as it's all part of the rich tapestry of the English language, me duck.

Ok, pet? 😅😉

PollyBell · 13/10/2025 22:09

To me it is intent their intent is niceness so I take it as that, as soon as I become bitter and twisted is the day I become a hermit with no outside contact

user1476613140 · 13/10/2025 22:09

Awrite, pal?

Leapintothelightning · 13/10/2025 22:06

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

You sound insufferable

Hallywally · 13/10/2025 22:01

Are you a snob OP? People working in CS roles are usually working class. Do you see yourself as being better than them and requiring of an elevated form of address such as “madam” or “sir”? Is that why the idea of your husband being “pals” with a bartender disgusted you so much?

Strop · 13/10/2025 20:32

DelphiniumBlue · 13/10/2025 17:35

It's not at all appropriate, as it's often used in a way that is patronising or disrespectful.
I work in a school, we don't talk to children like that, it's certainly not OK to talk adults like that when you are dealing with them in a business capacity. I might just about accept it from a market trader, but I don't like it from a bank or medical staff. It's over-familiar and suggests that they are not treating you seriously, and often sexist - I don't think "love" or "darling "is equivalent to "mate "or "pal".

I've never worked in a school where children haven't been referred to as sweetie, darling, chick etc.

NotOverlypleased · 13/10/2025 20:31

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 13/10/2025 17:35

I get this from the other side - I work in retail and get called 'pet', 'honey' 'sweetheart', occasionally 'mate' and I actually love it. I don't have a SO in my life to call me anything and my kids just call me Mum, so it's really nice to have people being affectionate in speech towards me.

I don't do it to my customers, but that's because I was brought up in a different part of the country, where the term 'my lover' is used as a pet form of address and if I used that one on them I might get some very funny looks.

I was going to say this. I work in tourism and often get called love or pet etc. There's a man who works in a local charity shop who calls everyone (including old ladies like me) mate. Doesn't bother me at all. One of my friends is broad black country and she calls anyone serving her sweet or sweetheart.

SomewhatAnnoyed · 13/10/2025 20:22

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

🤦🏼‍♀️

ErrolTheDragon · 13/10/2025 20:16

FancyLimePoet · 13/10/2025 20:05

I love terms of endearment. It’s part of British culture.

It is. The regional variations are nice.

Theres some sorts of customer service where endearments might not be appropriate I suppose - it’d probably be a bit incongruous in technical support type roles.

Biskieboo · 13/10/2025 20:15

Jesus, another one who would happily remove colour and warmth from the world in the name of 'professionalism'. I think this sort of language is great, especially given the breadth of regional variation as already mentioned on the thread. I struggle to believe the barman story tbh, as even if somebody was miserable enough to do that in real life I don't think anybody would be daft enough to admit it.

jbm16 · 13/10/2025 20:13

Cynic17 · 13/10/2025 17:38

Of course it's unprofessional, not to mention patronising. These people aren't friends, so why should they be "friendly"? If they really can't bear to use Sir or Madam, then they just don't need to call customers by a name at all.

Come on, it's neither, people of different ages and regions use different language, my grandma would call everyone love, and found it funny when I went to Uni in the midlands and everyone called you 'duck', having come from home counties it was a phrase I had never come across before, but it was just a regional, warm friendly greeting, nothing patronising about it.

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