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AIBU?

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Original poster

To find 'pet' names unprofessional in CS?

216 replies

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:24

Am I being unreasonable to find the usage of pet names by customer service staff unprofessional?

I am the customer and a stranger, I expect to be treated with respect. My name isn't sweetheart, it isn't love, honey, darling or sweetie.

I think pet names are fine for family members, spouses or CLOSE friends. Am I being unreasonable to think there is a time and a place for such familiarity?

OP posts:
PoliteSquid · 14/10/2025 12:08

I grew up being called “ducks” or “me’ducks” by every adult. I work in education and try very very hard not to say it but sometimes it just slips. As a PP said it’s just part of language and means you’re well disposed towards someone. A colleague calls all students “sir” or “ma’am” and I think that sounds creepy 🤮

Knowsley · 14/10/2025 12:02

If they don't mind, that's fine. I do mind.
I don't want to be called darling when buying something.

Zov · 14/10/2025 12:00

In some parts of Wales, grown men call other grown men 'love.' ("You all right love?!") Inexplicably, said grown men don't give a shiny shite. Grin

Namechange2700000 · 14/10/2025 11:56

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

I am embarrassed on your behalf.

WTAF?

Hysterectomynext · 14/10/2025 11:55

I like being treated in a warm and friendly way. So I have a different perception than you op.
I also use these terms a lot myself. To the old and the young. Nothing meant but respect

JustMyView13 · 14/10/2025 11:55

I only have experience of being referred to using pet names - such as those in the OP - when receiving an elevated level of customer service.

ConnieHeart · 14/10/2025 11:53

Caleb64 · 13/10/2025 17:49

It’s part of some call centre training to ask things like that, it annoys me too but I try to remember that they’ve been told to ask questions like this - I know it’s ridiculous but they might even get marked down if they don’t try and strike up a conversation. I was once told in training to ask about dogs if you heard a customers dog barking 😂

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I don't mind the asking questions. It's when every answer I give is met with "oh perfect!" or "fantastic!" I reckon I could say my dogs just died & they'd still say something like that 🤣

surprisebaby12 · 14/10/2025 11:50

People are just being friendly, it’s a standard thing to do and your response to it is pretty hostile.

purplecorkheart · 14/10/2025 11:46

As part of a former job I regularly had to call Solicitors Offices. There was one where the Solicitor's PA used to call me Chick, Hen, Sweetheart, Darling. To be fair to her I don't think she ever repeated a name.

I don't normally mind as long as it is not done in a patronising way. Like the builder who called me deary when I pointed out his plaster had plastered over where the light switches were to be.

Thedogscollar · 14/10/2025 11:44

I think @BigFatBully is on a wind up.
Are ye mate?

TheJessops · 14/10/2025 11:37

At first I totally agreed with you as I thought you meant customer service agents on the phone, I do not like those types of customer services using pet names at all, or anyone in an online or telephone situation, but face to face in person I think pet names/terms of endearment are lovely! As long as it's not 'hun/hon' a word which makes me recoil!

SilkAndSparklesForParties · 14/10/2025 11:24

I think in the right place, at the right time, it's fine. I don't mind it in shops, tearooms, pubs, informal restaurants, at the garage, with tradies, etc. I don't like it in environments where professional boundaries should be observed, such as in medical settings, banks, at the solicitor, etc.

SisterMaryImmaculate · 14/10/2025 11:18

I know a dinner lady who works on the tills in a secondary school and she must have an encyclopaedia of these terms of endearment. The kids adore her and love to see which one they’ll be called. ‘Come on darling, sweetheart, dolly, love, lovely, petal…’
She brings warmth and joy to some children who wouldn’t get it elsewhere. The world would be a harsher place without folk referring to one another without kindness and familiarity.

Katherine9 · 14/10/2025 10:18

Andthatrightsoon · 13/10/2025 23:28

Come to Devon where you'll be called 'Me lover' by a 6-ft hairy biker. It's great. Lighten up, OP.

No, please don't encourage the Grinch to come visit us friendly folks!

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 14/10/2025 09:46

I think the terms of endearment (because these aren't, as many have pointed out, 'pet names') signal "I am well disposed towards you, I mean you no harm," whereas Madam (or Sir) or Mrs (Ms, Mx, Mr) XXXX sound colder and formal and could equally be used to signal dissatisfaction or anger. So being called love might not mean that they actually do love you (just as being called 'treacle' does not indicate that I am slightly runny and sticky), but it does smooth social interactions by being disarming.

KimberleyClark · 14/10/2025 06:43

I was once called “my pet” by a lovely female airport security person at Edinburgh airport, I really liked it.

Arcencielle · 14/10/2025 03:40

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

Are you autistic? (to take something like this so literally)

SouthernNights59 · 14/10/2025 02:45

I couldn't care less what anyone calls me, as long as it's nothing rude. I would most certainly not wish to be referred to as Madam however, how old fashioned that sounds.

Honestly, I just don't understand people who get offended by such trivial things Confused

TempestTost · 14/10/2025 02:36

Yes, OP YABU.

If you don't like it, that's your business, but your reasons don't really make sense. You may think it is only ok for friends, but much of the world does not think of these kinds of terms that way. When they say them to you, they are not implying you are friends.

Tbh, in my opinion, objections to this are mostly a kind of snobbery.

Berlinlover · 14/10/2025 01:04

It must be so exhausting to be offended by something like this.

BauhausOfEliott · 14/10/2025 01:02

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

Great way to get bar staff to spit in your drinks.

Arlanymor · 14/10/2025 01:01

BigFatBully · 14/10/2025 00:44

If they really knew me, they wouldn't be calling me lovely, hehe. 😂😂😉

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We've all worked that one out.

Don't come to Wales. We're friendly and our dialect and manner of speech reflects that.

DogsandFlowers · 14/10/2025 00:57

My word, you sound insufferable. Stay home next time we don’t want you and your delusions of grandeur ruining the vibe.

Original poster
BigFatBully · 14/10/2025 00:44

Excited101 · 13/10/2025 23:59

I don’t like it at all, I find it really patronising.

I don’t mind regional ones like ‘duck’ but the ‘lovely’ which has crept in absolutely fucking everywhere, I can’t stand

If they really knew me, they wouldn't be calling me lovely, hehe. 😂😂😉

OP posts:
Excited101 · 13/10/2025 23:59

I don’t like it at all, I find it really patronising.

I don’t mind regional ones like ‘duck’ but the ‘lovely’ which has crept in absolutely fucking everywhere, I can’t stand

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