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AIBU?

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Send the photos or sling them?

55 replies

Skiporship · 13/10/2025 16:02

Former close friend and I fell out - permanently - this year, primarily because I've had enough of her being (IMO) a crappy friend. For years, I've been the one to go and see her, even though she's often over this way (we live about 2hours apart).

The final straw (of many) was me having a baby - I asked if she'd come and meet baby; she told me she was too busy, but then my older DC bumped into her at a local (to us) theme park.

I tried just letting the friendship die a few times over the last couple of years but she'd keep dropping these generic "Hey, how r u?" texts and, if I ignored them, following up with "are you mad with me/ignoring me?" messages. I don't get it.

Finally, I told her I was pissed off and that I wanted her to just leave me alone rather than sending non-committal texts that never led to any kind of conversation anyway. She blocked me.

The question is this: I've just found a BIG box of photos she stored in our garage 10+ years back. She's never asked for them, but it's a large, heavy box of family and wedding pics.

In favour of slinging: it'll cost a fair whack to send them, and I don't want to start up any kind of conversation. I also don't want it to look like I'm making a point by sending her her stuff shortly after cutting her off. I've got a skip on the driveway atm with plenty of space.

In favour of sending: it feels harsh to sling them, even though she doesn't seem to know they exist. I can technically afford to send them, and I don't have to communicate with her afterwards.

WWYD? Skip or ship?

OP posts:
Allthegoodhorses · 13/10/2025 16:13

I think throwing them away is pretty bad. I would do as others have said and ask her if she wants them and find a way to get them to her (either she collects them or arranges for them to be posting to her).

TheatreTraveller · 13/10/2025 16:12

I would never ever throw away someone else's photos no matter what the circumstances.
I would give her a fair chance to come and collect them or arrange them to be shipped (at her cost).

MyMilchick · 13/10/2025 16:09

Throwing them away is pretty harsh imo, does she have any friends or relatives near to you that you could leave them with?

Namechangerage · 13/10/2025 16:05

Likewise she can also arrange Royal Mail to collect them if she’s that fussed. My partner sold a large item and was super easy, the buyer arranged it all.

Namechangerage · 13/10/2025 16:04

Does she live far away? I’d tell her you have them and give her the chance to collect them by X date and then throw them if she doesn’t come.

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