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Original poster

What do you set your heating at?

215 replies

amibeingaknob · 13/10/2025 15:16

Please settle an argument with me and my mother.

What do you set your heating at? Is it different in the day and the night?

Just trying to gauge what the 'norm' is here. We are South East (not that that makes any difference - temp is temp).

For me - 20 in the day, 17 at night. My boyfriend (who lives with me) is 22 day, 19 night so its gone up - I wouldn't want him feeling the cold.

My mother thinks a house that is 14 is perfectly reasonable, and not on at all at night. She rarely puts in on. This worries me desperately as father has had pneumonia and they are in their mid 70s. She is convinced I, and 'my generation' are wussies, and heating is bad for you, and they are normal and I 'feel the cold more than most'.

I guess I want to prove to her that that last line is inaccurate, and she puts her bloody heating on this winter, as I am super anxious about their health (particularly my dad). On a selfish note, I loathe going round there as I sit shivering, whilst being given a blanket and told 'oh dear, you do feel the cold don't you'. Like Im some sort of alien. The offer of heating is never there, and when it is put on, it is with much complaint, and mum performance huffing and fanning of brow. Ugh. Drives me nuts.

OP posts:
Fairyliz · 13/10/2025 18:10

Sounds like my dad; every time I go around his house I turn the heating up which is set at 12 degrees!
Thing is he is nearly 90, so clearly so old people have got use to the cold.

INX · 13/10/2025 18:06

20 during the day but it's never on at night when we're in bed.

Enterthewolves · 13/10/2025 18:05

National guidelines for people over 65 and those with respiratory illnesses is 18degrees C day and night. Comprehensive literature review here: https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5c5986f8ed915d045f3778a9/Min_temp_threshold_for_homes_in_winter.pdf

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5c5986f8ed915d045f3778a9/Min_temp_threshold_for_homes_in_winter.pdf

procrastinating20 · 13/10/2025 17:58

18 and don’t change it to have a consistent temp in the house. Heating only comes in when needed and keeps chill off

Original poster
amibeingaknob · 13/10/2025 17:56

TooBigForMyBoots · 13/10/2025 17:51

Are you worried your dad is unable to advocate for himself @amibeingaknob?

My parents have the most mismatched comfortable temperatures. It's probably the biggest source of arguments in their house. However both are equally as capable of using the heating and being vocal about it, with the phrase "your mother/father is trying to kill me", commonplace.

They are adults and I've learnt to stay well out of it. The hard way.🙈

Oh I wish!!!! Dad just agrees with everything mum says and pretends its his opinion. Mum cannot see this. We all can of course - it just so happens he agrees with everything she has ever said for the past 60 years lol! And shes never been wrong.

So yeah, if I bring this up he gets even more annoyed than her and sees it as defending her, as she acts all upset. So he can advocate for himself, he just won't because he wouldn't want to upset her and he just will support her viewpoint no matter what.

OP posts:
pinksheetss · 13/10/2025 17:55

On all the time at 18. If I feel a bit of cold will crank it up to 20 to kick start the heating on and blast some warmth into room but then back down to 18.

Placestogo · 13/10/2025 17:54

What about a heated blanket or a heated cardigan (usb chargeable) for your dad? So your mum can have the house cold and dad be warm?
im saying this with my heating at 19 but sitting at my desk wrapped in a heated blanket and a hot water bottle on my feet! Oh the glamour!!!
heating goes 21 between 9pm and 11pm and then back doen to 19. Theres always someone around at home

TooBigForMyBoots · 13/10/2025 17:51

Are you worried your dad is unable to advocate for himself @amibeingaknob?

My parents have the most mismatched comfortable temperatures. It's probably the biggest source of arguments in their house. However both are equally as capable of using the heating and being vocal about it, with the phrase "your mother/father is trying to kill me", commonplace.

They are adults and I've learnt to stay well out of it. The hard way.🙈

Chinsupmeloves · 13/10/2025 17:42

Older boiler here so timer clicks for coldest parts of day. Sore point as house we recently moved from had a brand new CHS! Xx

Original poster
amibeingaknob · 13/10/2025 17:40

isitmyturn · 13/10/2025 17:36

I and all my friends have been through the process of elderly parents making poor decisions. At some point the child becomes the parent.
In fact I'm 67 and DH is 75 so we're approaching elderly parent age ourselves now.
Heating currently on at 22⁰.

14⁰ is flipping cold. I have no problem with heating being off overnight though unless it's sub zero outside then it needs to be on all the time.

How do you persuade them. Is your dad onboard with being cold or is your mum driving it?
I know you said it's not the cost but would they behave differently if it was free? That's an extreme argument?

Dad literally goes along with whatever mum says about everything. If Mum suddenly wanted it hot he would say he would to. Thats just how they are. So he will always say hes fine. Which is immensely frustrating.

OP posts:
EatSleepDreamRepeat · 13/10/2025 17:39

19 ish for an hour in the morning and a couple of hours in the evening. 12 overnight which clicks in when it's really cold. When the weather drops I have it set for 15 for an hour before we get home from work and before we get up, then doesn't take as long to heat up to 19 when we do get home.

Me and DH sleep with window open a crack unless it's really windy or raining. He has severe asthma. The condensation/moisture produced by 2 sleeping adults seems to aggravate his breathing more than the low temperature.

CarpetKnees · 13/10/2025 17:37

Ours is on 18 or 19 in the evenings, when we are likely to be sitting, and for an hour in the morning when we get up.
It only comes on in the day if temp drops below 14
It would only come on in the night if below about 7 I think it is.

You don't need heating on when you are asleep under your quilt.

You seem to be forgetting that we (all of us) are comfortable at different temperatures, but mostly it will be at temperatures we are used to. If they've never had the heating on high, that's what they are used to and where their bodies are comfortable.

My friend's Mum is 95 and refuses to have central heating in her house. She's fine with the gas fire in the living room and that's about it. Not for me, but it doesn't seem to be doing her any harm.

isitmyturn · 13/10/2025 17:36

I and all my friends have been through the process of elderly parents making poor decisions. At some point the child becomes the parent.
In fact I'm 67 and DH is 75 so we're approaching elderly parent age ourselves now.
Heating currently on at 22⁰.

14⁰ is flipping cold. I have no problem with heating being off overnight though unless it's sub zero outside then it needs to be on all the time.

How do you persuade them. Is your dad onboard with being cold or is your mum driving it?
I know you said it's not the cost but would they behave differently if it was free? That's an extreme argument?

Alongthetowpath · 13/10/2025 17:35

18.5 during the day, and off at night, but it doesn’t tend to drop below 14 even on cold nights.

My parents (80s) have theirs much warmer now than we did growing up, I reckon it’s about 22 during the day- you need it to be warmer when you are older, I think. They have it about 17 overnight.

Original poster
amibeingaknob · 13/10/2025 17:32

lazyarse123 · 13/10/2025 17:10

Your mum is putting your dads health at risk. Not much you can do except not visit and tell her why. I am 67 and dh is 71. Ours is on now because we felt cold and the thermostat said 18 but it felt colder. We don't really go by temperatures just how we feel.
We don't have it on at night but whoever gets up first puts it on. With health issues I would leave it on.

Edited

I agree.

I think how she treated me yesterday was appalling tbh. I was cold, and told I was being ridiculous. No offer to put the heating on. She even felt my hands and said, 'oh goodness they are like blocks of ice - you do feel the cold don't you!'. You mean Im human???

Anyway, I decided Im going to say im not visiting because its too cold, and I think she is putting dads health at risk. And I really don't want to hear about the subsequent flus/pneumonia/illnesses they will inevitably get.

Might sound harsh, but Im pretty cross right now.

OP posts:
NoSoupForU · 13/10/2025 17:29

Its just always set to 19°C during waking hours and 15°C overnight. It never feels cold. If it did I'd light the fire.

Alittlefrustrated · 13/10/2025 17:28

My partner has it on 23 in the day, 16.5 at night.
If I'm in on my own, I wouldn't even think of putting it up in the day.
Guess who moves around the most.

TheGander · 13/10/2025 17:27

The minimum workplace temperature, by law, is 16C. But people in employment will not usually be in their 70s. So 14 really is not warm enough for your parents.

Bobbybobbins · 13/10/2025 17:25

We are 18 if we are in during the day or morning/evening. Off at night though we used a small oil filled radiator in kids’ rooms when they were little overnight if it was really cold. 22 would be way too hot for me. But 14 is definitely too low.

JollyLilacBee · 13/10/2025 17:24

Off overnight, during the day it’s only out on if we’re really struggling with the cold, and even then it’s just a quick boost to take the chill off and then switched off again. We can’t afford to have it on.

Ive got no idea what the temperature of the house is though, we just go off how it feels

AngryBird6122 · 13/10/2025 17:22

GAJLY · 13/10/2025 17:08

It's left on 17 always. I don't understand why you'd need to turn it up for night time in bed?! Surely the duvet and fleece pyjamas make you feel warm enough?

@GAJLY here we have it in because despite lots of layers and the bodies being warm dh and dc2”s asthma means breathing the cold air in means trouble. Can’t have go down too low. That’s just one example.

Whydoibotherration · 13/10/2025 17:19

Ours is set at 18/19 all the time , though it rarely clicks on overnight . My parents were similar , my DF did die of pneumonia in the end though he was 83

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 13/10/2025 17:18

BadgernTheGarden · 13/10/2025 17:15

Yep, did my bit of being cold with a house with no heating apart from a coal fire in one room, no double glazing and frost on the insides of the windows in winter. I don't understand older people who don't rejoice in being able to be warm these days.

Show quote history

And the chilblains on the legs ! I wonder if anyone still gets them?

GentleSheep · 13/10/2025 17:17

18.5 during the day and 17.5 during the night.

SkylarkingAround · 13/10/2025 17:15

Never on at night, not needed with a winter duvet. On for short bursts during the day, 10 to 15 mins, and it stays warm for ages once turned off. In mid winter might set it for 20 during the day and have it on more often, still off at night.

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