Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do you set your heating at?

215 replies

amibeingaknob · 13/10/2025 15:16

Please settle an argument with me and my mother.

What do you set your heating at? Is it different in the day and the night?

Just trying to gauge what the 'norm' is here. We are South East (not that that makes any difference - temp is temp).

For me - 20 in the day, 17 at night. My boyfriend (who lives with me) is 22 day, 19 night so its gone up - I wouldn't want him feeling the cold.

My mother thinks a house that is 14 is perfectly reasonable, and not on at all at night. She rarely puts in on. This worries me desperately as father has had pneumonia and they are in their mid 70s. She is convinced I, and 'my generation' are wussies, and heating is bad for you, and they are normal and I 'feel the cold more than most'.

I guess I want to prove to her that that last line is inaccurate, and she puts her bloody heating on this winter, as I am super anxious about their health (particularly my dad). On a selfish note, I loathe going round there as I sit shivering, whilst being given a blanket and told 'oh dear, you do feel the cold don't you'. Like Im some sort of alien. The offer of heating is never there, and when it is put on, it is with much complaint, and mum performance huffing and fanning of brow. Ugh. Drives me nuts.

OP posts:
TheFairyCaravan · 13/10/2025 20:24

We haven’t put our heating on yet. I think it’s still quite mild here in South Yorkshire.

When it does go on, it will be 19 downstairs for 2 hours in the morning and evening and 17 upstairs for the same time. It’s never on overnight, that makes me very unwell by giving me horrendous migraines. I sleep with the window open all year round.

Pinkroom · 13/10/2025 20:24

Set to 17 so if ever drops below that it comes on, but otherwise its set to 19 for a couple hours in the morning and couple hours in the evening.

APurpleSquirrel · 13/10/2025 20:21

We have ours set to 20.5 atm - all the time, so if it drops below that it’ll come on regardless of time of day. It’s only come on a few times recently, mostly in the morning. I work from home, but use blankets & jumpers. I definitely feel the cold more than others though.
Hated working in an office with someone who ran hot - she’d be in a skirt, short sleeves, no tights & id be in three layers plus a fleece blanket & the heater on under my desk!!!

CrystalShoe · 13/10/2025 20:17

Both the NHS and the WHO recommend 18C as the minimum, because any lower is risking health issues. So your mum is being really unreasonable with 14C.

MaryBeardsBeard · 13/10/2025 20:12

Last year had it set to 14 for general daytime and would turn it up to 17 morning and evening, off at night. I would have liked it warmer in the daytime but it's expensive. On the other hand I genuinely prefer it cool overnight.

This year we have a young baby so it's been 17 in the daytime, with a couple of hours morning and evening at 18. Overnight is set to come on at 16

Interestingly I do feel the cold more this year so am appreciating the heating, not sure if this is hormonal/evolutionary to help keep baby warm enough?

mambojambodothetango · 13/10/2025 20:06

17 in the day, never at night

SP2024 · 13/10/2025 20:06

About 19. The kids room gets really cold so I do have it set at night to come on if their room is colder than 16. But pre kids and when they are bigger I’ll turn it off totally at night.

GreyCloudsLooming · 13/10/2025 20:04

I have a medical condition and we would have heating on if it drops below 15 - but only for an hour or two- and never overnight. It’s been 18 inside in the evenings recently, and that is completely fine for us. The windows are open during the day.

amibeingaknob · 13/10/2025 19:59

Yeh even though they have plenty of money mum is tight about weird things - but incredibly generous in other areas. Its odd. So she loathes spending money on food in restaurants/cafes. Super tight about it. They went on a lovely holiday and spent a bomb on a gorgeous cottage in cornwall -but she took all her own food cos she didn't want to pay restaurant prices. 😂

Shes a funny bugger, but the quirks are getting worse with age. My dear SIL is worried too - she is convinced this is all around her OCD and the need for control. She may be right I dunno.

OP posts:
RaraRachael · 13/10/2025 19:51

My mother's friend didn't have any central heating in her house. There was a gas fire in the living room and that was it. If I went through to the toilet or her daughter's room, I could see my breath it was so cold. We thought it was because she'd been widowed and didn't have a lot of money. When she died, there was £100K in her bank account - unbelievable, but a lot of people lived like that.

TooBigForMyBoots · 13/10/2025 19:49

The past few years mine's been set at 15. This year its 16.

I'm menopausal so have been so hot I worried Extinction Rebellion would protest outside my house due to my contribution to global warming.Blush DS is 7yo and has more energy than the sun. In winter, I open all the windows for a while each day.

I live in a small, inner city, terrace, so it never gets really cold. I used to live in a massive, fully glazed, gorgeous house on a mountain, by the sea. It cost a fortune and was fucking freezing.Hmm

Storynanny1 · 13/10/2025 19:40

We are late 60s and early 70’s , it’s not a generational thing , it’s a miserly don’t want to waste money on heating thing! 14 is ridiculous and unhealthy.
Our heating isn’t on yet as house is small, modern and mid terrace so very well insulated.
When it goes on the thermostat will be set at 19 or 20. On a timer from 8 am-8 pm so between those times the temp will never be below 19 or 20. Don’t have fit on at night as house stays really warm and there is an airing cupboard in our bedroom which acts like a radiator!
My late mother in law didn’t have the heating on, take a taxi anywhere, buy her grandchildren an ice cream etc - again not generational she was just tight with money! Of which she had loads of.

Ncforthiscms · 13/10/2025 19:22

Oh we also have an electric fleece to snuggle up with on the sofa 😁 they are fab if you cannot order not wish to heat the entire house.

Ncforthiscms · 13/10/2025 19:18

Just reset mine for the first time since it was turned off in spring...
18 in day, if drops below 13 at night it will come on.
We do wear jumpers & slippers before bumping up the heating.

jessycake · 13/10/2025 19:02

I vary mine at the moment it’s set to 17.5 night and day but it’s not really dropping much below 20 in the room , but later I will adjust it . Unless money is a real issue your mum and dad are at risk of heart attacks and strokes .

pintofpkss · 13/10/2025 18:55

Mines set at 16 from 6am to 7pm I will turn it up when we get home from work/school when needed. Never have it on over night

TooBigForMyBoots · 13/10/2025 18:53

So yeah, if I bring this up he gets even more annoyed than her and sees it as defending her, as she acts all upset. So he can advocate for himself, he just won't because he wouldn't want to upset her and he just will support her viewpoint no matter what.

I hear you @amibeingaknob.Brew It was that stuff that made me butt out. Nowadays I will only comment on the temperature if it is uncomfortable for me.

Your parents have been doing their relationship their way from before you were born. Leave them to it.

BeRoseSloth · 13/10/2025 18:43

22 during the day. Off at night unless very cold outside then 17. 14 is far too low.

Allseeingallknowing · 13/10/2025 18:39

thisishowloween · 13/10/2025 18:38

Oh, I didn't realise you knew my body better than I do 🙄

Hence my name!

thisishowloween · 13/10/2025 18:38

Allseeingallknowing · 13/10/2025 18:37

It would take a high temperature to do that. You could set it at 16.

Oh, I didn't realise you knew my body better than I do 🙄

Allseeingallknowing · 13/10/2025 18:37

thisishowloween · 13/10/2025 18:33

I can't sleep with the heating on at night. I get headaches in the night, and wake up with a sore throat, feeling sick and unwell.

It would take a high temperature to do that. You could set it at 16.

thisishowloween · 13/10/2025 18:33

Allseeingallknowing · 13/10/2025 18:32

To those who don’t have heating on at night even when it’s very cold - yes you are warm under the duvet, but you’re breathing in cold, damp air.

I can't sleep with the heating on at night. I get headaches in the night, and wake up with a sore throat, feeling sick and unwell.

Allseeingallknowing · 13/10/2025 18:32

To those who don’t have heating on at night even when it’s very cold - yes you are warm under the duvet, but you’re breathing in cold, damp air.

Elsvieta · 13/10/2025 18:20

22 or 23 when I'm in, but off at night. Why would you want heating at night? You're under a duvet.

amibeingaknob · 13/10/2025 18:17

Interestingly if I dared to turn the heating up they would totally flip out. If my brother does (which he always does in winter), they just mumble a bit and thats it. Pisses me off.

OP posts: