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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think is kinda rude of a friend to arrangement something to just ask us if we can host it?

109 replies

Meowmeowgirl · 12/10/2025 23:22

lets call our guy friend «nick»

So me and my SO are the first people in our group to have our own place while nick and jenny still lives with their parents, so we host some parties trough the years like 7-8 parties in a year when we feel like it. So one friend in our group «nick» asked me if ive seen that or that movie trough chat and i said yea long ago and then he said «jenny apperently haven’t seen that movie so i was considering about setting a movie night a day and i can make pizza!», jenny is my friend and our nicks friend. And me and my SO tought «oh how nice to be invited to movie night and some good pizza!». So i replied with «that sounds nice! Me and SO can bring some snacks!» until he replied with..

« i was thinking about asking if you and henry «my So» can have it at your place, we can have some alcohol, some good food and some snacks» i was a bit shocked since i tought he was telling us he was hosting a movie night at his place. I prob know he didn’t mean it in a bad way but i tought it was a bit weird, epsecially since he worded with «i considered about setting a movie night» like in my head this means «hey im having a movie night with pizza at my place! You guys in!?» not «hey im gonna host something at your place! You in?» our home is not a local that can be booked, i tought it was kinda cheeky. Because we be the ones clenaing dishes and all of that in the end. I think he was a bit bad with his wording, i haven’t replied yet, my So also tought that he was inviting us over. We where interested until we where expected to host.

OP posts:
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CinnamonBuns67 · 15/10/2025 10:55

Yanbu, it is cheeky and I'd probably say something along the lines of "Oh we was expecting that as you've organised the event that you'd be hosting the event at yours. We won't be hosting other people's events at ours. However if the event goes ahead at yours we will be happy to come with drinks and snacks. Let us know!" No way would I do this.

Theslummymummy · 15/10/2025 10:06

So >> = "?

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 14/10/2025 06:50

Yup- reply with 'well let me know the plan when you decide'.

nomas · 14/10/2025 06:19

Meowmeowgirl · 14/10/2025 01:17

He replied with «ohh okay sure thing idk wich movies are right now at the cinmea tho» since i said me and my sO rather cinmea since its a while we have been there, i do hope that he let us do the invites when we feel for it ofc

Lol, he’s playing dumb. He can just look up the movies online, there are a few good ones right now or coming up.

He is either trying to guilt trip you into hosting the pizza party or to organise the cinema outing.

Don’t fall for it, just tell him ‘Let me know when you’ve had a look at the cinema website.’

Original poster
Meowmeowgirl · 14/10/2025 01:17

He replied with «ohh okay sure thing idk wich movies are right now at the cinmea tho» since i said me and my sO rather cinmea since its a while we have been there, i do hope that he let us do the invites when we feel for it ofc

OP posts:
WickedElpheba · 13/10/2025 21:40

Fine to say no as per PP's suggestions

Isittimeformynapyet · 13/10/2025 21:33

lambdressedasspam · 13/10/2025 01:42

Ehh I think you've est a social scene around hosting and like you say no one else in your sphere has access to that ???

Yes can ve read as ' Cf' but at the same time could be looked at like he's toeing the party line and slotting in with the est set up of the day.
I can see your 'taken aback' but not everyone is good at/capable of taking the social initiative, so he's kind if showing you he apricates your 'role' ( perhaps hierarchy) in social order that you've collectively est over the only person hosting 7/8 things a year.

I think acting agast is a bit much. Even if you don't apricate it reads like a clumsy attempt and not the biggest leap.
You can see how he got there and its not the most offensive thing ever?

Why not just tell him something along the lines if
' bit cheeky but if you sort everything and clean up?'

Life is too short, have a pizza party?

Are we not writing "established" these days? Where do I sign up for all the memos?

kkloo · 13/10/2025 20:56

Meowmeowgirl · 13/10/2025 05:45

@kkloo some people don’t mind i guess but even tough, we host when we want, i don’t want them to see our home as their free local place to free bookings for their arrangaments/events Because if i give them the finger im afraid they take the whole hand. Like it not our fault he lives with his parents and if they don’t allow or he dosen’t have the home for himself. At least would be more fairs if he asked to eat out or go to cinmea

Some people don't mind and some people do, but it just seems like such a non issue even if you don't want to host, like you're looking for something to be offended by.

Original poster
Meowmeowgirl · 13/10/2025 20:54

@nomas not yet :) but this is a much better option for us right now and we are allready hosting my birtdhay in 2 weeks so thats enough for us now we host parties just with snacks no dinner tho. Going out then no mess in house no extra preb before guests and after and everyone pays their fair share mean pays their own shit😆

OP posts:
strawgoh · 13/10/2025 20:51

"Ha ha, nice try, no" just about covers it.

Onleemoi · 13/10/2025 20:45

I would have no problem at all with a friend who lived with parents asking to come over for pizza and a film one night.

nomas · 13/10/2025 20:43

Meowmeowgirl · 13/10/2025 20:41

@Welshmonster yea i have replied to him that to «like what about cinmea? Maybe they have som scary movies there and we can grab someting to eat at a restaurant before that?, long time we been to the cinmeas here»

Good! Did he reply?

Original poster
Meowmeowgirl · 13/10/2025 20:41

@Welshmonster yea i have replied to him that to «like what about cinmea? Maybe they have som scary movies there and we can grab someting to eat at a restaurant before that?, long time we been to the cinmeas here»

OP posts:
PloddingAlong21 · 13/10/2025 19:59

“Oh! I thought you were inviting us to yours! Haha. Unfortunately no, we can’t host round here. We’ve done so much hosting recently so fancy a break from it for a while.”

done.

Ohnobackagain · 13/10/2025 16:00

ThereIsThunderInOurHearts · 12/10/2025 23:56

You could reply: sorry, thought you were inviting us over to yours as we have hosted so many now, we need a break from it, lol"

This @Meowmeowgirl

Welshmonster · 13/10/2025 14:52

No. This is not ok. Stop this now before it becomes a pattern. Say you are happy to go to the cinema to see a new film as you’ve already seen the film anyway.

MayaPinion · 13/10/2025 14:36

Screamingabdabz · 13/10/2025 09:00

Actually she’s right. I’m trying my best and I’m always invested in a CF thread but bloody hell it’s hard work. I’m amazed people can ascertain what’s going on! What’s with all the << >> ?

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And yet so many people appear to be coping perfectly well.

Mmc123 · 13/10/2025 13:20

Great ideas above on how to say NO clearly..I've only heard this happen once before & it was a friend of my daughter who thought we had a better "party house" so wanted it at ours...even my 16 yr old daughter was miffed, said no & thought it was a cheeky before she even asked me!
🤣

Sal17690 · 13/10/2025 12:18

who are all these people who don't like people 'using' their kitchens? This all seems like a lot of angst over a a couple getting together with two friends to watch a movie and eat homemade pizza?

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 13/10/2025 11:59

nomas · 13/10/2025 10:37

Let's see how good you are at writing in OP's mother tongue.

The xenophobia on MN is getting worse.

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What they said 👆.

Payitforward55 · 13/10/2025 11:48

YANBU similar happened to me. I hosted a few parties and quickly became the default party house. I've since had to stop all hosting. I had people asking if I could host their kids birthday. Its much more effort than people think not to mention cost and the clean up after. In saying that I don't think your friend meant to offend. Probably just thought it was a good idea.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/10/2025 11:43

courageiscontagious · 13/10/2025 00:39

“Ah! We’re not up for hosting this time. But if you have it at yours we’ll bring wine and some snacks. Let me know if you decide to go ahead”

like fuck would I be happy cleaning up after someone made pizzas in my kitchen

This.

Cant really improve on it!

honeylulu · 13/10/2025 11:39

Just say no, sorry, I thought you were inviting us somewhere. I don't want to host an event for someone else unless I offer.

I think you need to be that blunt and very clear as you mention he seems to lack social skills so he's either oblivious or very thick skinned and might end up pushing back otherwise.

My SIL used to do stuff like that. One year she asked if she could come to ours on the evening of Christmas day. We said not sure as we might be at my parents or if at home we'll just want to veg by then. She said oh no I've already invited everyone. Turned out she actually wanted to host a party for her friends in our house. When we said no she asked asked if we could go to my parents as it would be "even more convenient" if we weren't there! She got a firm NO but acted like we were really unreasonable. She did have her own flat but apparently our house was nicer and she couldn't be bothered to tidy up. I expect she would have left us with the clearing up afterwards too ... She tried to do it again a couple of years later.

BatchCookBabe · 13/10/2025 11:16

BagGreen24 · 12/10/2025 23:52

Reply... No sorry that doesn't work for me. We've got loads on at the moment, I thought you were inviting me to yours!

This.

@Meowmeowgirl Just tell them no.

.

nomas · 13/10/2025 10:37

sorrynotathome · 13/10/2025 06:34

I voted YABU because the OP just cannot be arsed to construct an actual English sentence. Even the title makes no sense. I find it tiring to read this nonsense.

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Let's see how good you are at writing in OP's mother tongue.

The xenophobia on MN is getting worse.

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