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Original poster

Kids party etiquette

34 replies

Illhaveacokezeroplease · 12/10/2025 20:59

It was my DDs 6th birthday recently and we did a pamper party at a small salon which she invited 7 friends to. One of her friends turned up late with no birthday card for DD and then proceeded to sit on the side, uninvolved the whole time, playing on a phone. She didn’t speak to any of the other girls (they are all friends in school) and ate separately to everyone else. I believe it was her phone as her Nan who brought her had her own, different phone. Nan told her to put it down and that it was rude, she didn’t listen and Nan left her to it. She interacted with no one except to collect her party bag at the end and didn’t say thank you.

AIBU to think that this isn’t acceptable for a child at a birthday party? I personally feel the adult responsible for her should have stepped in but I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive. My DD had a lovely time and didn’t notice at all - it definitely bothered me more than it did her 😂 I’m just curious really as to what others think. Thank you!

OP posts:
olympicsrock · 12/10/2025 21:58

When my son was 5 he sometimes decided at the last minute that he didn’t want to go . He would sometimes not want to join in the games or eat the food. I used to take him outside and he begged to leave. It was embarrassing as a parent as my first child never behaved like this but actually he was just crippling shy and overwhelmed.

Don’t judge… no card / gift without an explanation is a bit odd / rude but there may have been a crisis at home

Original poster
Illhaveacokezeroplease · 12/10/2025 21:55

To clarify, it was a party salon specialising in kids’ parties. The package also included a disco, karaoke, food and party games. The same sort of thing you’d expect at any old fashioned kids party in a community centre. There was plenty of running around, dancing and and allowing them to be kids. “Treatments” included face painting, glitter tattoos etc. and were age appropriate for 6 year olds.

All the children had a smile on their faces and seemed to really enjoy, apart from the girl in question. Of course it might not have been her sort of thing so she may have been bored, but most people know what their children will/won’t enjoy, so why bring her then?

OP posts:
CountryQueen · 12/10/2025 21:54

That’s not a birthday party for a 6 year old. If you were asking if her nan was unreasonable to let her have the phone, well, it depends, presumably her parents set the rules and Nan just follows them when she helps out.

If you’re asking if YABU to think a 6 year old girl should know what she’s meant to do in a salon without you, the host, actually telling her and involving her, then yes you are.

curious79 · 12/10/2025 21:14

6yrs old and going to a salon?! WTF!! Mine would have been haring round a playground. The little girl might have been very bored

RicStar · 12/10/2025 21:13

I can't really imagine what a pamper party for 6 year old kids is - but I would have thought whoever was hosting the party would have tried to bring the girl into the games/ activities etc. Once I took my sone to a party at about the same age and he was tired and refused to join in - I took him home eventually!

Octavia64 · 12/10/2025 21:11

It was bad manners.

but at 6 most kids are dropped off at a party and don’t have an adult stay with them.

managing their behaviour is either your job or the entertainers job.

Arlanymor · 12/10/2025 21:10

6 year olds with phones - her family have made a rod for their own back there. Yes she was rude but it sounds like they use a screen as a babysitter and as a result she is less engaged in what is going on around her. That said at the age of 6 I would have hated going to the salon for anything, I would have been squirming in my seat to go outdoors.

Farticus101 · 12/10/2025 21:10

I think anything could be the reason for her behaviour really.

She could have been forced to attend by her family and was acting out by not participating.

She could be neurodiverse and struggle in social situations.

She could be very shy and have been taught to hide herself in her phone (terrible that she has one at that age if it is hers)

She could have had a bad experience prior to attending the party and was upset.

I wouldn't be too bothered by her behaviour. It's good your DD had a lovely time

WonderfulUsername · 12/10/2025 21:06

YANBU that it was bad manners.

But 6 year old children having pamper parties instead of actually doing kids things like running around, playing with their friends is just as mad as having their noses stuck in a phone I think.

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