Why oh why are people giving their under 12s tablets?

because people like to jump at "all or nothing"

and can't bother to think about the difference between someone using a tablet for specific things, for fixed amount of times, and children left with a tablet all day and night.

If tablets are so damaging, can you explain why so many schools are using them as a learning tool?

I have to say - might go against what you believe but my DD who has significant Sen and medical issues from birth.
she really struggled with reading / socialising etc
she could not for the life of her pick up reading.
in year 4 she was reading at reception level. She got a tablet at the end of year 4 and spent far too much time on it, more than I would have liked however it helped massively with her sight reading and the apps for her maths. Socialising also improved she is 11 now and it’s so nice hearing her stay in contact with her friends and maintain the relationships at school when she is away long periods by being able to talk to them and remain social.
I have had no issue with her using a tablet.

You're not alone. This is just how it was before screens were commonplace and online deliveries didn't exist. I think a lot of people forget that.

As parents with vocally uncomfortable children we are just expected to stay at home with them and put up with it so not to cause a nuisance for anybody else because heaven forbid we use a tool that works. We are outwardly judged for finding solutions that work with our children's neurological landscape that don't require us isolating at home all of the time, by people who don't understand the mechanics behind regulation.

I never gave my children a phone or tablet when they were in the buggy; it wasn’t commonplace when they were small and I don’t think it would have even occurred to me. BUT my AuDHD oldest child hated walking and hated the buggy only slightly less and used to bawl whenever he was in it. I needed to go places or walk the dog with him in the buggy so I just had to put up with the crying but, having read about self-regulation on this thread, I’m wondering whether a screen might actually have helped him.

First, I am honestly not picking up on you - sounds like we parent in similar ways frankly,

just a thought about this: but still I feel it's way too dominant in our lives. When at home and bored it seems to be the default (they ask but don't get!)

you write this on MN yourself... I think us parents , in general, need to be honest about the way they live and what example they show.

I am on my phone to check their school things, to do my online shop, to book appointments, message about clubs (and a million other things). But it means my child seems me ON MY PHONE a lot. While I would have seen my mum using catalogues or the landline

The OP complaining about tablets, but using similar herself, is unreasonable in that way. If you have screens, a phone, tablets etc.. yourself, then you are being an hypocrite.

My kids are not allowed tv in the evening, but I read a book in bed myself, I am not in front of the tv or a screen unless I am working, and they know it's work, the same way they do their homework.

Like everything moderation is the key. Screen usage should be monitored and restricted by the parents.
Electronics - TV. games consoles and tablets have always been shared and kept downstairs. That way we could control how long they played on them for etc. We did not have strict limits but took it on a dad by day basis eg if they had been out and about for several days and then had a day inside while it was pouring with rain they would have more screen time. On a sunny day we would go to the park or whatever. I think because we did not have very restrictive usage they learnt to self regulate themselves and whilst may have had the TV on they would normally be playing with a toy as well.
Phones were for secondary school and we did have more restrictions for those eg left downstairs at night at first and then phone access was cut off at bedtime so only things like alarm clock etc could be accessed.

My children have grown up with tech and DH is a tech nerd so understands them and so we were able to put suitable controls in place. DS1 is now at Uni, DD is final year of A-levels and DS2 is starting GCSEs all of them doing really well so I don't think it has harmed them to have access.

Back along TV, rock and roll music and other things were going to ruin childrens lives....

Gosh if your 2 or 3 year old was, not only walking before they were one but also, ambushing you to discuss the finer points of WW1 politics you were dealing with a completely different raw material that I was as despite their books they managed neither of those things.
My post was in response to very young children having them and I have yet to hear any child that age watching a WW1 documentary when I am being deafened by what they are listening to in shops/restaurants and public transport.
Unless you are implying that your children were quietly reading at that advance level at 3 and under?

I don’t think it’s so much of the device but what is being shown. A Disney film on a long car journey, fine. YouTube every night before bed, not okay for me.

We share one iPad between 3 children (13,11 and 8). It's meant to be "just" for school work but of course it isn't. The older 2 are allowed a set amount of time for fucking Roblox An hour a day / x3 days a week.

I am sorely tempted to stamp on the damn thing to be honest.

It really is so difficult to go back once they have been given access.

I have mine in hobbies and clubs almost everyday, we go out, we are active, there are strict limits to screen time etc but still I feel it's way too dominant in our lives. When at home and bored it seems to be the default (they ask but don't get!)

And yes the 13yo has a phone but this is only used at weekends to make arrangements with friends / to let me know they have arrived somewhere or are leaving somewhere. It's never taken to school or used on a school day.

My kids has a shared one from a young age. They also had iPhones quite young. They’re all perfectly functional and at university doing hugely competitive degrees that would have been totally beyond me.

But if I had my time again, there would absolutely be no personal screens until maybe 14 or 15.

I read that article. Very interesting.

My DC had tablets from a young age and there have been no ill effects. Both achieving well at school and uni respectively

My teenage son is severely disabled including being non verbal. Using tablets was part of his curriculum from an early age at specialist school.

when you become a parent, you need to decide to ignore all judgement and never take them personally.

People who make them either have no children, or have awful brats anyway 😂

As long as you know you are not one of the lazy parents and you do what is best for the kids, not just because you want to watch Eastenders in peace, who cares.

What I find strange is the constant chips about lazy parenting.
Screens aside, helicopter parenting is a really fairly new phenomenon.
My FIL remembers he and his friends played out all their free time on WW2 bomb sites in their city. My mother can recall walking to visit a friend two streets away, alone, at the age of five and that when she and her friend were about nine or ten they would take her friend's toddler sister out in a push chair for hours with no adults supervising them. And these were normal, respectable families!
When we'd visit our granny in the 80s we didn't actually see her much as all the kids would be sent out together to play in the garden, for hours - only being allowed inside for lunch or to use the loo.

Now I'm not saying any of that is ideal, absolutely not! But I do find the modern competitive parenting a bit odd in contrast!

Judgemental and sweeping statements such as ‘absolutely not necessary’ are short-sighted and hurtful to many parents who have been in situations where screen-time truly has benefitted a child and been absolutely necessary.

Gosh, given we're talking about lazy parenting, I never pushed my kids around in a push chair - they were both walking before they were one, and we either took ages to get anywhere (eg. 1 hour getting to school and back rather than 10 mins) or I carried them in a carrier (when little) or on my shoulders or on a scooter (when bigger)

See, we can all play that game..

Besides, unless your child has ambushed you in the car to talk about the finer points of WW1 politics (which, I might add, I know basically nothing about - we did the victorians in GCSE), you probably don't realise how much effort it takes to keep up with them once they get going on tablets. I started doing the daily flagle and Worldle just to try and be vaguely competitive with my eldest.

We can't guarantee that sadly, some will many might not. For example, Some kids pick up reading almost spontaneously, most are in between but some struggle for years. I was late to adopt to apps for banking and parking etc as a young adult - I was particularly ludditeish about this- and I do struggle with this stuff now much more than most my age. My default is to want to speak to someone when buying tickets if I'm physically in a cinema, not be directed to a machine - or to want to have a number to call when things go wrong with online banking, which is increasingly impossible! So in some ways I'm like a young boomer more than a young gen-x!
I absolutely think people should be aware of what their children are doing online but I'm personally more worried about my kids in terms of stranger danger, real life bullying and violence, and traffic.

I still ban tv from the bedrooms, and laptops and tablets go downstairs in the evening 😂

But I consider tablets as a tool, they need to be just as used to them as my parents were with a landline.

Why do we give tablets? Because they need one, and they can use them.

It doesn't mean they are on it 12 hours a day watching crap and shorts on youtube from school to bedtime.

Have they made provision for online access for the poorest?
(And do they come with a good protective case?)

So I've heard.
I'm sorry if you're a binary thinker who enjoys a bicker, but I'm not.

So the previous generation presumably complained kids just sat and watched TV, the generation before I’m guessing it was “their face is always stuck in a comic” etc etc.

I’m not saying too much screen time is good but if kids don’t get used to the digital world (via homework, steaming, games, creative apps etc but with limits) they’ll struggle. I see it now at work already, people unable to do their jobs, not engaging (even on a basic level) with AI.

Balance, like anything, is the key.

That was my post. Sorry, assumed it was across Scotland.

The security on them is excellent. They are completely locked down. I do agree with them being broken/stolen/lost though.

In our council area there is a charge of £70 if your kid breaks the screen the first time. £140 the second time. Although it’s classed as a “contribution” so I would presume low income families would not have to pay towards the repair.

But again it doesn't have to be all or nothing, everything in moderation. You think that if you give your child a tablet, you will give up parenting them and neglect them. It is like saying I cannot give my child a sweet necause I will stop feeding them meals and raise them on a diet of 100% sugar. Most of us are better parents than that. The toddlers you judge are the extreme, not the norm.

Absolutely. And we weren't usually watching age appropriate content. It would be mostly soaps in our house. Rape scenes, murder scenes etc. If you wanted to watch programmes suitable for you, you locked yourself away in your bedroom.