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Original poster

I want to start eating meals as a family but there are so many hurdles to overcome

408 replies

Rockininthefreeworld · 12/10/2025 19:59

Please don't judge me. I'm really looking for some advice and just feel so dissatisfied with our whole set-up 😔

I have felt bad about the fact that we never eat as a family. We have two children, age 6 and 2, and they always eat separately to us. This is for a number of reasons...

  1. DH is a very fussy eater, and won't eat 90% of the things I make for the children
  2. DH and I both work full-time until around 6pm, making eating together quite challenging. Having said that, we both work from home a lot, so it is do-able with some planning (but then, see point 1...)
  3. We have a kitchen island but no room for a dining table, which means eating together in the kitchen is just sitting in a row. This makes conversations feel a bit challenging.
  4. We have a dining room (although carpeted...) and I'd love us all to eat in there, but DH gets very very funny about mess and smells. I've tried to approach the subject but he just gets annoyed and shuts it down. He uses the dining room to work, which is very annoying to be honest because I feel like that's a whole social room that we've just completely lost out on.

The 2 year old is at nursery full time which does give him "social eating" time, and I think the 6 year old is fine because we do eat out and I often go back to my parents where we sit together at the table. But, he also gets very bored if I'm not constantly entertaining him and he's not a stranger to the tablet at the table. I hate that and feel quite ashamed.

I just don't know how to handle this. I feel so dissatisfied with the whole arrangement, but DH isn't going to support me with it and it feels difficult trying to do it in the kitchen anyway. I just want us to have a nice family meal together, even just at the weekends, but even if we manage that it still has to be in the friggin' kitchen and no-one will talk to me, DS will moan for his tablet and DH will be on his phone. I've tried to implement this before (in the kitchen), and it just felt pointless in the end because I felt like I was fighting a losing battle.

Does anyone have any advice? 🙁

OP posts:
ohfook · 12/10/2025 20:08

Yeah your dh is the one putting up barriers here. We always eat together even though it can be tricky sometimes and the one rule I have is even if you’re not eating with us - so if dh is going out for food later or if the kids have already eaten at after school club or whatever - you still have to sit up at the table with us. I actually think k eating together is really important when you’re all mega busy during the day. I think you need to tell dh how important it is to you and I suppose whatever happens next will tell you how much he cares about what you want.

BreadstickBurglar · 12/10/2025 20:07

I would be having family meals with my children at the dining table and if DH didn’t like it he could lump it. Realistically if he won’t eat what you have he needs to either bring his own food or just sit and chat while you all eat.

If I want to eat with DH later I sometimes just have a really small portion of whatever the kids are having for dinner with them. You could do that if you really want to eat with your husband but given he doesn’t eat what you eat and he sits on his phone, I say stuff him and do your own thing with the kids. They’ll remember whether you all sat down together or not. You could even play a little game or do a kids jigsaw or something post teatime and before bed.

TwinklyStork · 12/10/2025 20:06

If you both work from home, where do you work from, and can’t you swap work rooms so that your husband isn’t working in the dining room and doesn’t have to have food in his workspace?

Autisticburnouthell · 12/10/2025 20:05

You start eating with the kids and DH can eat later.

What kinds of foods are the kids eating and what does DH eat.

If DH working from home then he can chuck some thing into the slow cooker so it’s ready from when the kids come home from nursery.

Wherethewildthings · 12/10/2025 20:04

Does it have to be a full meal? We eat sandwiches all together in the lounge and chat

buffybots · 12/10/2025 20:04

I would be ignoring him about the dining room, that’s what it’s made for FFS
he can sort his own food out, you sit and eat with the children so they get one parent modelling family meals

stayathomegardener · 12/10/2025 20:02

large cheap rug down under the dining room table and just start eating there with the kids. TBH your husband sounds pretty draining.

Stick some flowers or a fairy light string in the middle, buy some napkins and go for it even if it’s cheese and biscuits or tinned soup.

Overthebow · 12/10/2025 20:02

This sounds like your DH is the main problem here. He doesn’t want you to eat in the dining room and he won’t eat the food you cook. What food will he eat and what food do you usually cook for the kids? Can you come up with a list of food you will all eat?