Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help me help myself

35 replies

BeAnythingBeKind · 12/10/2025 13:38

I'm struggling and I can't get out of this slum.

I go to work, can't wait to get home, as soon as I get in, my pyjamas are in.

Then I just sit in front of the telly all night.

I have weekends off and I dont do anything, I don't want to do anything. I don't leave the house, and just mope about.

I promise myself every week that I'm going to do something, anything, at the weekends but the time comes round and I just don't want to.

I also hate the way I look. I've put weight on over the year, a lot of weight. I'm a size 18, pushing a 20, and I hate it. About 18 months ago I was a 12/14!

I know I need to eat better and exercise more, and every weekend I'm like, right, start fresh on Monday, then Monday comes around and nothing changes.

Help me. Where do I start!

OP posts:
Original poster
BeAnythingBeKind · 12/10/2025 15:04

Nsky62 · 12/10/2025 13:54

I’m in years or months, what time you have wasted?!
I struggle at times with poor health, and do what I can when, mid stage Parkinson’s no fun, try to eat healthily , spend time with my loved ones.
At 63, can’t work, no way, no dress rehearsal in life.

I'm sorry to hear of your poor health.

And you're right, life is no rehearsal, which is why I'm reaching out for tips

OP posts:
Original poster
BeAnythingBeKind · 12/10/2025 15:03

DisplayPurposesOnly · 12/10/2025 13:47

I remind myself that the day has 24 hours in it. I tell myself im going to do x and it will just take 15m - that's a whole 23h 45m left of the day.

I also only leave the house for 'appointments' so I make 'appointments'. Yoga class, walking group, theatre, meet friends...

I also dont give myself a choice. Shall I wash up? Well, obviously, no! I will wash up bc washing up has to be done, it's not a choice.

Also, a one positive and constructive thing per day rule has helped. That might just be the washing up...

Oh, I wash up after every meal, and make sure the house is clean and tidy. It's just everything else, I just can't be bothered!

OP posts:
Original poster
BeAnythingBeKind · 12/10/2025 15:01

Gazelda · 12/10/2025 13:47

I’ve been there. It’s hard to get motivated.

could you give yourself something to look forward to? Plan a catch up with a friend, join a book club, decorate a room, make your own Christmas cake, whatever.

that will give you something to aim for - making arrangements, planning what you need (paint, ingredients, yoga mat, whatever), practicing some small talk etc.

it needn’t be anything big. Small steps. One focus at a time. Once you’ve got some pleasure in your calendar, you might start to feel better about yourself and be motivated to take the next steps.

I suppose I could do a "to do list"

My kitchen cupboards need clearing, that could be a start. It's boring though, and I think that's half the problem

OP posts:
Original poster
BeAnythingBeKind · 12/10/2025 14:59

CapitanSandy · 12/10/2025 13:45

I can relate to this.

How’s your health? When my iron is low I feel really unmotivated and lethargic.

I am tired all the time,but I put that down to not sleeping great

OP posts:
Original poster
BeAnythingBeKind · 12/10/2025 14:58

Bodypumpmum · 12/10/2025 13:42

Do you think maybe you could be depressed? Not to sound insensitive. Sounds like me sometimes. It is really tough to find motivation you just have to pull yourself together some days and force yourself to go out.

I suppose it's a possibility.
I mean, I do, do stuff at the weekends.
I've tidied the house top to bottom today, and yesterday, I had to go out as I had an appointment, but, if I didn't have the appointment I'd probably have just mooched about.

OP posts:
Nsky62 · 12/10/2025 13:54

I’m in years or months, what time you have wasted?!
I struggle at times with poor health, and do what I can when, mid stage Parkinson’s no fun, try to eat healthily , spend time with my loved ones.
At 63, can’t work, no way, no dress rehearsal in life.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 12/10/2025 13:47

I remind myself that the day has 24 hours in it. I tell myself im going to do x and it will just take 15m - that's a whole 23h 45m left of the day.

I also only leave the house for 'appointments' so I make 'appointments'. Yoga class, walking group, theatre, meet friends...

I also dont give myself a choice. Shall I wash up? Well, obviously, no! I will wash up bc washing up has to be done, it's not a choice.

Also, a one positive and constructive thing per day rule has helped. That might just be the washing up...

Gazelda · 12/10/2025 13:47

I’ve been there. It’s hard to get motivated.

could you give yourself something to look forward to? Plan a catch up with a friend, join a book club, decorate a room, make your own Christmas cake, whatever.

that will give you something to aim for - making arrangements, planning what you need (paint, ingredients, yoga mat, whatever), practicing some small talk etc.

it needn’t be anything big. Small steps. One focus at a time. Once you’ve got some pleasure in your calendar, you might start to feel better about yourself and be motivated to take the next steps.

CapitanSandy · 12/10/2025 13:45

I can relate to this.

How’s your health? When my iron is low I feel really unmotivated and lethargic.

Bodypumpmum · 12/10/2025 13:42

Do you think maybe you could be depressed? Not to sound insensitive. Sounds like me sometimes. It is really tough to find motivation you just have to pull yourself together some days and force yourself to go out.