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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have gone a bit "woo"?

63 replies

Sellingsunsets · 12/10/2025 12:01

First of all I am the most un religious and sceptical person ever. And I mean ever.

But lately, and I can't explain it at all, it's so weird but I have this overwhelming desire and thoughts about the universe, after life and spirituality. Obsessing over what the universe is trying to tell me, obsessing over getting a message or a sign from a loved one. I don't know how to describe it but it's like an overwhelming NEED to know that something is out there. It's come from absolutely no where!! Other than that he fact I've had thought time emotionally and mentally lately and maybe I'm just looking for some comfort?? It's become a bit of an obsession, spending hours researching spirituality, scrolling tik Tok for a message from the tarot readers, and even paying for online psychic readings and predictions, which might I add when inputted into chat gpt to analyze tells me they are just poetic and generalized in such a way to make me relate to them. Even though I'm trying to debunk my thoughts, I still have this unexplained hopeful urge if that makes sense. Desperate to hear a message or confirmation that a dead love one is there.

I think I'm posting here for someone to tell me that I'm being absolutely stupid and the universe is no way trying to send me messages and I am going a bit "woo". For reference I'm early thirties and in no way ever been a believer of any thing of any kind and Always been a black and white thinker.

Anyone else relate?? Or can give me some thoughts,insights?

OP posts:
codenamelister · 13/10/2025 21:48

I think it’s natural to want to explore and feel like there’s more to life (and death!) I wouldn’t give money to one of those phone line tarot or physics, but I don’t see why exploring different churches, including spiritual, is a bad thing. You might find what you’re looking for, or you might come to realise what you are NOT looking for. One of my friends has find deep into the woo after recovering from an abusive marriage. She now loves reiki, meditation and is into crystals. I’m open minded, but I know crystals etc are not for me. However she’s happy, not giving money to grifters, not trying to convert anyone, and is feeling more open and learning about gratitude, positivity, community and so on - she’s not harming anyone so who’s to say it’s wrong or spooky or BS?

MasterBeth · 13/10/2025 20:39

Or, don’t do “spiritual” things in real life because it’s all nonsense and the universe is in no way trying to send you messages.

Bedheadbeachbum · 13/10/2025 19:02

Do some spiritual things irl. Go to an Anglican church and do group prayer - see if you get any 'messages' come into your mind. After I pray I like to just be still and receive. Not sure what I believe in but I believe that communal prayer has a power. There's a Buddhist community near me that I've visited and you can pray there.

See a reiki person, try that spiritualist church? - Never been to either and I'd be a bit scared to. I think you can open yourself up, I actually do think there's something to it all but I'd just be careful about what you tune into.

I'd act on it, but carefully.

Sadworld23 · 13/10/2025 18:54

I embraced the woo a few years ago. Can't say my life improved much but I generally feel less conflicted and more certain of my path. Definitely helps me get through tough times.

RawBaby · 13/10/2025 12:13

Sellingsunsets · 12/10/2025 12:21

Just to add, I do have diagnosed OCD which is and has always been more of an intrusive thought which then becomes obsessive, and have been very unwell in the past with it. Im unsure whether this is a flare up and this is a "theme".

That sounds entirely possible. I'd try to think more about whatever is driving this at the moment. Another poster who admitted to spending far too much time on Tiktok on another thread said she found it painful to be 'present' -- which I think lies behind a lot of obsessive SM use.

daybeforetomorrow · 13/10/2025 12:05

Sellingsunsets · 12/10/2025 12:01

First of all I am the most un religious and sceptical person ever. And I mean ever.

But lately, and I can't explain it at all, it's so weird but I have this overwhelming desire and thoughts about the universe, after life and spirituality. Obsessing over what the universe is trying to tell me, obsessing over getting a message or a sign from a loved one. I don't know how to describe it but it's like an overwhelming NEED to know that something is out there. It's come from absolutely no where!! Other than that he fact I've had thought time emotionally and mentally lately and maybe I'm just looking for some comfort?? It's become a bit of an obsession, spending hours researching spirituality, scrolling tik Tok for a message from the tarot readers, and even paying for online psychic readings and predictions, which might I add when inputted into chat gpt to analyze tells me they are just poetic and generalized in such a way to make me relate to them. Even though I'm trying to debunk my thoughts, I still have this unexplained hopeful urge if that makes sense. Desperate to hear a message or confirmation that a dead love one is there.

I think I'm posting here for someone to tell me that I'm being absolutely stupid and the universe is no way trying to send me messages and I am going a bit "woo". For reference I'm early thirties and in no way ever been a believer of any thing of any kind and Always been a black and white thinker.

Anyone else relate?? Or can give me some thoughts,insights?

Thinking about the universe etc is fantastic, really <something> to think of the endless void....

I don't know about life after death, but there is <something>. The doubters are people who just haven't had any type of experience yet. I've had one type several time now, and without a doubt know it's real - but ghosts? Never seen one, so still not real for me.

Don't give up, but don't get emotionally locked either.

GAJLY · 13/10/2025 08:56

I went through similar. I went to a reiki lady and started getting visions and messages. It was amazing! I started listening to guided meditation, more messages came through. I also get more messages by placing a hand on a large tree. Reiki will really open you up. Religion and tik tok won't help your spirituality. Although i find it nice to say prayers each morning, thanking God of the white light for all I have. It's been a lovely journey and I feel inner peace, no bad thoughts or mindless chatter.

zingally · 13/10/2025 08:51

The diagnosis... You're spending too much time on social media. Put the phone down for a bit and go for a walk.

DurinsBane · 13/10/2025 08:18

Sellingsunsets · 12/10/2025 12:18

I've found a spiritualist church in my area and I intend to go (mostly out of curiosity) but I went on their website and it's coming across as cult-ish which makes me uncomfortable.

That’s because it is a spiritualist church. Maybe try a Christian church? Look up new frontiers, they are good and very friendly mostly

Swiftie1878 · 13/10/2025 08:14

Sellingsunsets · 12/10/2025 12:18

I've found a spiritualist church in my area and I intend to go (mostly out of curiosity) but I went on their website and it's coming across as cult-ish which makes me uncomfortable.

Organised religion is cult like, and a bit of a sham really.
Find yourself something to give your life more purpose instead, maybe some volunteering or a new hobby.

Augustus40 · 13/10/2025 08:09

I know cults when I see one and can tell that the church I recently started going to is not in the least bit predatory.

TigTails · 12/10/2025 14:18

I’d be really way of getting involved and tarot and spirituality if you’re feeling low and vulnerable. A lot of this stuff can be quite predatory in nature and targeted towards people who feel they’re missing something.

Crwysmam · 12/10/2025 14:11

It’s a beautiful time of the year, maybe go out, find a wooded walk and take in the fantastic colours of the trees at the moment. Maybe it will help empty your mind of the intrusive thoughts.

I was brought up as a relaxed Christian, we went to church, more because it was community and in those days not cultish or pious. I find it uncomfortable attending services now because of all the handshaking and “joy”. For me church on Sundays was a place to reset and the familiarity of communion was a constant with no surprises.

I don’t believe in the god thing but I do believe that churches provided support and were an important part of a community. I occasionally attend a service in our local cathedral where it’s easy to be anonymous but it is comforting and reassuring that the service ( usually high church) has not changed. I can relax my mind and reset.

My DH has frequently commented that he doesn’t know why I still have a sense of faith. It is firmly seated in the here and now, but my secret belief that there is a heaven and that I will see my parents, DSis and all the others I was close to and have been taken too early ( my parents and DSis were all mid fifties) is how I deal with loss. The scientist in me knows it’s all bollocks but the afterlife is how we process loss.

Before science religion often answered the difficult questions, mostly incorrectly, unfortunately science still doesn’t answer the biggest question of where we go when we die. Well, it does but most conscious minds struggle to understand how it can just cease to be. I like to imagine it as a dimmer switch, the light fading until it clicks off. But the concept of heaven sort of stops us worrying about what happens.

In the same vain, the concept of universe and your role within it can send you into a spiral. Since we don’t have the technology to go beyond the earths atmosphere ( unless your an astronaut) then worrying about it is pointless. Focus on your immediate surroundings, enjoy your life. SM is so toxic, you are subjected to a tiny selective snapshot of someone else’s finely curated life. Most of the posters are desperately seeking attention because in their real world they feel invisible.

SM can really feed insecurity and mental health problems because it gives you a false picture of what is normal. Maybe delete your SM and make new accounts to reset the algorithm then start searching for subjects that are not as triggering. Cats, dogs, cake making, renovation avoid the subjects that trigger you will prevent you going down a rabbit hole. Better still delete SM for a while.

I became stuck in a certain SM groove after being diagnosed with breast cancer. Searching for like minded support throws up all sorts of cancer weirdness. But quickly realised that people only turn to SM when treatment doesn’t work out or to seek attention. They don’t present a healthy view of the breast cancer community and that 90% actually survive and revert back to a normal life. I think that Sarah Beeny has given the best public representation of what it’s like to go through the process. And has proved that life goes on and you don’t have to spend the rest of your life as a victim. It’s a terrifying experience but SM feeds vulnerable women’s anxiety. And frequently misleads.

Sellingsunsets · 12/10/2025 13:53

unsurewhattodoaboutit · 12/10/2025 13:42

I did the same after my brother died and of late I’ve thought ‘I went a bit mental there for a while’

I lost my brother at a young age 16 years ago now and I look back to try and rememeber how I was feeling at the time, I would have been 17 or so and I cant recall how it felt at the time. Maybe this is some unprocessed grief that has shown up.

OP posts:
unsurewhattodoaboutit · 12/10/2025 13:42

I did the same after my brother died and of late I’ve thought ‘I went a bit mental there for a while’

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/10/2025 13:39

You have gut intuition that you should listen to
you also are a human and we have needs to feel purpose and meaning and a spiritual side
there is so much maths and science to prove how much we are connected to cosmic events and vibrations in the earth etc it can’t all be untrue - if the moon effects the seas tide is must effect us

Mysticguru · 12/10/2025 13:36

Whatever resonates with you. Follow that!

Augustus40 · 12/10/2025 13:23

I recently began attending an Anglican/C of E church locally. I could not attend this morning as I have a funny throat today. I have attended twice and trust me there is no hard sell whatsoever.

You may need to attend at least twice to take it in. I could not believe how modern it felt after 40 years not going to church (I am now 62). Centrally heated with a really decent cup of coffee after in the church hall for a donation. No overly intrusive questions just relaxed folk smiling and being pleasant.

Sellingsunsets · 12/10/2025 12:40

user2848502016 · 12/10/2025 12:38

Why don’t you try a different kind of church - like CofE, Methodist or whatever you have in your area? You might need to try a couple to find your best fit. Even if you’re not super religious they can give a sense of community and belonging and often do charitable work like food banks which might help you feel more fulfilled

Thank you! Yes, I was bought up on C of E although we were never strict and would not have said we were super religious but it was more of a community thing rather than religion. I don't know. I feel like going to a more mainstream church I worry I would feel pressured and have religion pushed onto me which isn't what I want. I want to go and see for myself, see the proof, etc and spiritual churches claim to have this "proof".

OP posts:
user2848502016 · 12/10/2025 12:38

Why don’t you try a different kind of church - like CofE, Methodist or whatever you have in your area? You might need to try a couple to find your best fit. Even if you’re not super religious they can give a sense of community and belonging and often do charitable work like food banks which might help you feel more fulfilled

Sellingsunsets · 12/10/2025 12:37

Thank you! It's so strange because said loved one has been dead for 15 nearly 16 years! While I think about him often without sounding heartless- I have never had any desire to communicate with him or to "know" he is there if that makes sense. I think I started looking for clarity on another situation and it had developed from there into this "theme". My them s have always been health, dying, death, bad things happening etc so makes sense how my OCD has evolved.

OP posts:
BasaFillet · 12/10/2025 12:35

As a fellow ocd-er, it’s 100% a theme. It feels like it isn’t, it feels real, but it’s a theme… it’s just the ocd brain looking for certainty where it doesn’t exist. Try to think of other ways to honor your loved one, like a walk in a place they loved, or sprucing up their grave. And strictly ban yourself from paying for readings.
And have some hugs - sounds like you’ve been having a hard time recently ❤️

PastaAllaNorma · 12/10/2025 12:34

Of course it's all nonsense, but it is perfectly understandable when you've been through a difficult time to look for something external to reassure you.

My son does tarot reading as a hobby. His perspective is that there's no truth to "the cards", but there is something in how people interpret them, it clarifies what they're seeking.

Like flipping a coin to decide, and being mad that it came up with the 'wrong' outcome, how people react to the cards tells him what it is they want to figure out.

People are storytellers. If there isn't a narrative that makes sense of things, we seek one out. That doesn't make it real or scientific, it's just part of human nature.

Sellingsunsets · 12/10/2025 12:33

ohyesido · 12/10/2025 12:24

Sounds like you have an unfulfilled need and you’re looking for validation of some sort? I do this too, I’m not doom scrolling I’m looking for guidance

Yes, I can agree I am feeling very unfulfilled. I just find it strange that this is the route I've chosen to get curious about when it's otherwise something that has never even occured to me or been of interest.

OP posts:
Augustus40 · 12/10/2025 12:33

I think spiritualism is too weird and spooky. I attended twice out of curiosity and noticed a lot of the mediums just look downright weird.

Faiths are ok in moderation as they can bring solace and comfort and a community.

I have studied 3 faiths and of the 3 I have looked into I find church the best for community. Although there are many areas I do not believe about Jesus - most of his miracles and the book of revelations for example - the Anglican church is very tolerant and accepting.